When The Light Turns Green, …. MOVE SCHMUCK!!!

As a driver who usually has a destination when I get into the car, I’m constantly baffled by the number of people who don’t fucking move when the light turns green. I personally hate red lights. They are the bane of my existence, so when the light turns green I step on the gas right away so I can continue towards my destination. It’s the reason I got into my car in the first place! I have someplace to go!

I don’t just suddenly find my self in my car not knowing how I got there, and with no place to go! Who are these other fucking morons who seem to be on a tour! Are there actually people who get into their cars with nowhere to go? Just cruising around Manhattan? Not these days, especially with the price of gas!

Which is why I can’t figure out the people who sit at a green light.

The light turns red and they start reading a book, or planning their next vacation. It turns back to green,and they stay lost in thought, until suddenly it dawns on them that they’re in a car and have someplace to go. Very often that doesn’t happen until I honk my horn, and wake them the fuck up!

And I’m not one of those lunatics who honks the horn second the light changes, but if five seconds passes by and you haven’t begun to move yet, you’ve basically lost touch with reality, and are no longer cognizant of the fact that you’re on your way somewhere. Red lights are just to let the other guys go, not for you to detach from reality!

That’s why we have traffic! Because too many drivers are stupid! In every traffic jam there has to be a first car? if that car never slowed down, there’d be no traffic, so except for the event of an accident or road closure, traffic is basically due to stupidity and to people with slow reflexes, who can’t figure out what to do when one lane closes and merges into another.

Their synapses are not firing the way they’re supposed to, so they have to stop and stare, basically waiting for a “Stop” sign to change to “Go.”

So stay aware, and keep your foot near the gas so when the red light is finished being red, you can progress on your merry way and not drive other people crazy! It’s New York dammit, MOVE!!!