So when Nore told me that Tracy Morgan himself, one of the funniest dudes on the planet, asked him to be his “middle” at Carolines, I knew I had to stop by and check it out! I’ve seen Carolines crowded before, but not like this. If they could have stacked tables like bunk beds, they could have filled the place twice. (Bunk tables? I wonder if that would even work? LOL)
Nore Davis facing a packed house and then some for Tracy Morgan’s show at Carolines!
I got there in time to see Nore hit the stage, and he hit it really hard! Huge laughs and the audience absolutely loved him. For a young comic, he has great stage presence. I recently also saw him perform at Russell Simmons’ new stand-up TV show, “Russell Simmons Presents The Ruckus”, which will be airing in February, with J.B. Smoove as the host, and he killed there too! It’s really something exciting to watch, when a big star gives a young comic a shot, and they do well!
Tracy Morgan doing what he does best, … making people laugh, … onstage at Carolines!
Needless to say, ( so if it’s needless to say, then why am I saying it??? LOL) Tracy gave everyone what they were looking for. An hour of hilarity of the kind that only Tracy can bring! Not necessarily the show you’d want to bring your parents to, but a show you’d definitely want to bring your friend or significant other to! They laughed from beginning to end!
Great to see Tracy back in good health again, and engaged to be married to Megan Wallover. We wish them all the best, and a lifetime of Happiness!
He’s definitely a family kind of guy and loves to talk about his kids. I think the first time I met him was back in 2002 up in Montreal at the Just For Laughs Festival.
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with a moustachioed Tracy Morgan back in 2002 at the Just For Laughs Festival in Montreal!
I once went to visit him on the set of 30 Rock, during an episode where he was co-starring with a horse (LOL) and we had a great talk about the importance of family and kids!
Tracy Morgan on the set of 30 Rock, back in ’07, with a guest-starring horse!
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with Tracy Morgan in his dressing room on the set of 30 Rock!
I was with him at the Writers Guild Awards one year –
Tracy Morgan, with Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV at the Writers Guild Awards!
And then again more recently, after he had his kidney surgery, at Anthony Anderson’s Mixtape show at Gotham, where Tracy was a surprise performer!
Tracy Morgan and Jeffrey Gurian from Comedy Matters TV at Anthony Anderson’s Mixtape Comedy Show at Gotham!
Last year I wanted to get him for the Diabetes comedy fund raiser I produced with a killer line-up at The Comic Strip. For whatever reason it didn’t work out, but there’s always this year! Are you listening Tracy!!!
The first time I saw Pete Davidson he was auditioning for the lottery show, a show they do at The Strip every Tuesday night at 10:30 P.M. to find new performers for the club. I remember them saying he was only 18 years old, and just out of high school!
Pete Davdison onstage at Gotham Comedy Club during Nick Cannon’s New Faces show!
Just a couple of nights later, I’m at Nick Cannon’s New Faces Show at Gotham Comedy Club when who comes to the stage but Pete Davidson, and after Pete does a killer set, Nick announces that Pete is his protege. It couldn’t happen to a nicer kid.
Pete had no intention of going into comedy at such an early age. He lost his hero firefighter Dad Scott in the horror of 9/11. He had always been more interested in basketball, but in dealing with his loss, he went up on stage at a comedy contest on Staten Island, and hasn’t come back down since!
He came backstage at The Strip one night recently with his older buddy, comic Jordan Rock,(who’s 20!), while I was hosting Late Night, which I do on Sundays and Mondays, and told me he would be touring with Nick starting this month.
On January 12th, he, Nick, and Mike Epps will kick off the “Still Standing” tour at the San Manuel Casino in Highland, California. Nick is a quadruple threat performer and one of the nicest guys you could ever meet. Mike Epps is absolutely HILARIOUS! This should be some unbelievable show!
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with Nick Cannon at his New Faces show at Gotham Comedy Club!
Pete is so funny, and it’s great to see someone starting their career so young. For myself, I never wanted to get famous in my 20’s. That meant I’d have to try and be funny for 60 or 70 years! Too overwhelming! I only wanted to have to be funny for 15, 20 years tops!
18 year old comic Pete Davidson, with “36 year old” comic Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV at The Comic Strip!
I like when he said he was looking for cougars in the audience and then asked if there were any 21 year old girls! Keep your eyes open for Pete Davidson. He’ll be doing some big things!!! One thing I know for sure, his Dad is definitely smiling down on him!
I’ve been friends with The Belz since man first walked erect. I actually had an uncle who was the first man to ever walk erect, but he couldn’t hold it! It was very sad. Anyway, I’m having lunch at The Friars Club with a business associate about Comedy Matters TV going national, and as the lunch is winding down, I see Belz come in with his assistant Joel Silverstein.
Belz, Paul Shaffer and I have been taking a certain photo for about the last 20 years. We stand in the same order, Paul Shaffer, then me, then Belz and a few years later I bring the old photo and we stand in the same order, holding the old photo and take a new one. Recently we took the fourth in the series. The one below is number three:
(L-R) Paul Shaffer, Richard Belzer, and Jeffrey Gurian, holding a photo of Paul Shaffer, Richard Belzer and Jeffrey Gurian, holding still a third photo of Paul Shaffer, Richard Belzer and Jeffrey Gurian at The Friars Club.
Then Friars photographer Richard Lewin managed to get #4 for us this past year.
Paul Shaffer, Richard Belzer and Jeffrey Gurian, holding a photo of Paul Shaffer, Richard Belzer and Jeffrey Gurian, holding a photo of Paul Shaffer, Richard Belzer and Jeffrey Gurian, holding still a fourth photo of Paul Shaffer, Richard Belzer and Jeffrey Gurian, at The Friars Club!
So today at The Friars, we waved to each other and as I was leaving, he called me over to say “Hi!”. We wished each other a Happy Chanukah, which makes sense since we are both of the Hebraic persuasion, (and we acknowledge that), and while we were catching up, the Friars Club receptionist paged what sounded like “Richard Lewis”. Belz and I looked at each other like, ” Could it really be for Richard Lewis, or was it for Belzer and they made a mistake?” I knew that Richard Lewis had been in town earlier in the month to headline Carolines, because he let me know he was coming, but I thought he was back in LA.
I told Belz I’d go up to the front and check for him. I said to the receptionist, ” Are you paging Richard Lewis or Richard Belzer?” She said, ” Neither! I’m paging Richard Lewin.” Turns out they were paging Richard Lewin the same Friars photographer I mentioned above, who at that moment approached our table to say hello.
But it inspired Belz to tell me this funny story about Richard Lewis. He said that where Richard lives, in order to pull out in his car, there’s this little street he often uses illegally. One day a cop stopped him, and told him he couldn’t do that anymore, but he let him go. A couple of days later he did the same thing, and the same cop came over to him and said, ” C’mon Belz, you can’t keep doing that!” And Richard Lewis said, ” I’m not Richard Belzer, I’m Richard Lewis!” So the cop gave him a ticket!
Belzer agreed to be my first guest when I shoot the premiere episode of a new show I’m planning, tentatively titled Jeffrey Gurian’s Comedy Matters Houseparty! Stay tuned for more!
Richard Belzer and Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV catching up at The Friars Club!
There are so many fun little comedy shows around New York that it’s hard to keep track of them all. When I’m lucky enough to get invited to perform, I go down and check them out. I purposely say, when I’m “lucky” enough to be invited because whether it’s a big show or a small show, it’s always an honor when someone wants you to be a part of their show.
So when Hilary Schwartz invited me to be part of her show at Three of Cups, I jumped at the chance! Three of Cups is a nice little lounge on 5th Street and 1st Avenue. It’s got an intimate setting, like the living room of a large home,(with a bar of course!) LOL, and the room is set up in a cool way that makes it comfortable to perform.
Hilary and David Lee Nelson produce the show and there were some really talented comics performing like Aaron Sweeney, and Jackie Monahan. I meant to ask Aaron what happens if you leave one of the “A’s” out of his name. It would be exactly the same! LOL It’s like, if you spell a word and accidentally leave out a silent letter, does that make the word too loud?
This show is every other Monday night and you should definitely check it out! I hope I get a chance to perform there again!
(L-R) David Lee Nelson, Hilary Schwartz, Jeffrey Gurian, Aaron Sweeney, and Jackie Monahan at Three of Cups!
Once a month, Gotham Comedy Club is the home of Anthony Anderson’s fabulous Mixtape show. He and his partner Royale Watkins put on such a fantastic show, mixing comedy and hip-hop, with a cool DJ, usually DJ Diamond, a free-style rap battle which never ceases to amaze me, how these guys can “spit” beats right on the spot, and then a musical guest. This month it was Full Force from Staten Island.
DJ Diamond on the “ones-and twos” for Anthony Anderson’s Mixtape Show at Gotham!
Some month’s Anthony’s not able to fly in but the show still rocks. Last night’s was no exception. Bow Legged Lou, and his brother Paul Anthony opened the show and introduced Royale to the packed house. Royale is a great MC, funny in his own right, and keeps things moving along well. He always makes sure to give his wife plenty of shout-outs during the show. He must be making up for a lot of past mistakes, LOL, which he alludes to constantly! I think Royale had at one time been a very bad boy! (LOLOL)
Royale Watkins onstage at Gotham warming up the crowd for his fabulous Mixtape Show!
Marshall Brandon was the first comic up and he was a real crowd pleaser. Then Tom Van Horne, or Thomas Edward Van Horne IV, ( IV means “the fourth, not that he’s on an IV, you dopes!!! LOL ) took the stage, and hit a home run. I liked when he described the difference between being single and being married. “When you’re single, you have to go out and try and convince a drunk woman who doesn’t know you to have sex with you. When you’re married, you have to try and convince a sober woman, who DOES know you, to have sex with you!” Very clever, … and very true!!!
Tom Van Horne onstage at Gotham, doing his thing at Anthony Anderson’s Mixtape Show!
Then Vanessa Hollingshead got up, and she always does well. I love when she imitates a drunk French woman, who doesn’t know she’s drunk. The audience loved it too! People love impressions. Too bad I can’t do ANY! Maybe I can do two Greek men meeting in the street, mispronouncing words as numbers ” How are you today my friend?” Five thank you, and how are you? Not too good. I feel a little six! Really you don’t look six. You look just five to me!” If you try that in a Greek accent it comes out very funny!
Mike Yard was the closing comic and he totally killed it. He told how Black people with no insurance go to the clinic and sit till someone with insurance comes in with the same symptoms. Then when they come out from seeing the doctor, they say, ” Well, what’s wrong with us? What medication did he give us?”
Mike Yard “doin’ what he do”, at Gotham, for Anthony Anderson’s Mixtape Show!
He talked about how kids these days can call in a report on their parents on 911 if they feel they’re being mistreated. In his day, with a rotary phone you could never do that. By the time the nine came around, his mother already caught it and hung up!
But when he did an impression of the first Latino President, with a heavy Latino accent, the crowd laughed so hard, they were gasping for air.
The rap battle was astonishing as always. It’s like magic. You just can’t figure out how they do it!
Monday nights are usually kind of slow wherever you go. This Monday night The Comic Strip was sold out! Completely packed! People found out that Mike Birbiglia would be doing a 90 minute performance there and within no time the place was filled!
(L-R) Richie Tienken, owner of The Comic Strip, Mike Birbiglia, and Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV at The Comic Strip for a special taping for Mike’s film at Sundance!
Back in 2008, Mike had a hit show with “Sleepwalk With Me” at the Bleecker Street Theatre. I was there for the opening and knew it would be a hit right away! Mike is an accomplished story-teller, which of course is an art form in itself! Very different from stand-up. I can’t picture Mike doing a five minute set. I’m sure he could do it, but his material lends itself to longer pieces, so he can build his story in layers!
Mike is doing a film version of “Sleepwalk” that will be in Sundance in January, and he had the idea to film a sequence of him onstage to be played during the credits. He takes the stage name of Matt Pentamiglio, which may be the wrong spelling, but it’s the right sound! (LOL)
Mike Birbiglia as Matt Pentamiglio onstage at The Comic Strip!
I caught up with Mike, … or Matt, … backstage at The Strip and did a little exclusive video interview for Comedy Matters! You can see that right here!
It seems like just yesterday that we were at The Comic Strip 34th annual holiday party, and here it was again! Most people said this year’s was one of the most fun parties The Strip ever had. The food was great, the place was packed and the show ran like clockwork, except for one comedy video by Modi which we never got to see due to technological problems.
Jeffrey Gurian interviewing owner Richie Tienken at The Comic Strip Holiday party!
Jeffrey Gurian interviewing owner Bob Wachs at the 35th annual Holiday party at The Comic Strip!
I was proud to co-host the party along with owners Richie Tienken and Bob Wachs, and got lots of cool video interviews for Comedy Matters TV with people like Judah Friedlander, Kyle Grooms, Howard Feller who told about being Jon Stewart’s sidekick on an unsuccessful show before Jon got The Daily Show, Dante Nero, Diane Passage from the new reality show “Wall Street Wives”, one of my oldest and dearest friends High Voltage, who talked about her “Energy Up” nutritional/self-esteem program for inner city high school girls, Greer Barnes, Dan Naturman, Eddie Brill, Marina Franklin, Scott Blakeman, Kristen J. Eddy who produces Anthony Anderson’s Mixtape Show, Barry Weintraub, Sherrod Small, and so many more!
World Champion Judah Friedlander of 30 Rock, asking Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV to punch him in the fist as hard as he could to show how he’s impervious to pain! Gurian had to be rushed to the hospital. He said, ” It was like punching a brick wall!”
Howard Feller being interviewed by Jeffrey Gurian for Comedy Matters TV!
“Sexy Fairy” Marina Franklin sharing a laugh with Jeffrey Gurian for Comedy Matters TV!
Producer Kristen J. Eddy at The Comic Strip, talking to Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV about Anthony Anderson’s Mixtape Show!
The beautiful Diane Passage at The Comic Strip telling Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV about her new reality show, “Wall Street Wives.”
Energy Queen High Voltage at The Comic Strip reminiscing with Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV!
The highlight of the party was the show. Shauna Lane opened and closed the show with a musical number. There were a couple of fun videos made by the comics, and then host Ray Ellin, introduced a take-off on Latenight, with a comic named Sean P. Darr playing me as the host, since I host Latenight on Sunday and Monday nights!
It was weird hearing Ray announce, ” And now the Late Show. Please put your hands together for your host Jeffrey Gurian”, … and then another guy came out!
Sean P. Darr as Jeffrey Gurian, onstage “hosting” The Late Show!
I had heard it was going to be done, and was nervous at first as to how I would be portrayed, but everyone told me it was an honor for people to imitate you. And then I realized that it’s also an honor to be Roasted, and this wasn’t going to necessarily be a Roast, just an impression.
Jeffrey Gurian and Richie Tienken interviewing Jeffrey’s doppelganger Sean P. Darr backstage at The Comic Strip!
Sean came out in this wild wig, and dark glasses, which he took off too quickly! But he left them on long enough for me to get a photo of him! He even wore a scarf and a sport jacket just like me! Most of the time I wear three scarves, but I wouldn’t expect him to do that, or even to have that many scarves! (LOL)
He opened with a bunch of my jokes and started out really strong, having memorized them pretty well! I thought it was HILARIOUS, as you’ll see in the video! One comic, Mark Thomas did a great imitation of Adam Cozens, one of the Strip regulars, Sean the bartender did a great Modi from “the hood” which was fantastic because Sean has a lot more pigment than Modi! No one knew that Sean could be so funny. I guess Modi’s act works no matter who does it! (LOL)
Then Jordan Rock came out doing his brother Chris and the audience absolutely loved it. He chose to do the thing about Black people being more racist than White people, because the things that White people don’t like about Black people, Black people don’t like either! And then he went on a diatribe about the difference between Black people and the plural of the “N” word! (LOLOL! You can say it in your mind, as long as you don’t repeat it to anyone!!!)
Jordan Rock capturing the essence of his brother Chris Rock during the Holiday show at The Comic Strip!
The highlight for me was when Andy Pitz came out as Rodney Dangerfield. That was a thrill for me because I loved Rodney and Andy looked and sounded just like him. Rodney was the first big star I ever wrote for and he used to do my jokes on the Tonight Show and in his act. One of the first jokes I ever wrote for him was on his album “No Respect.”
Andy Pitz killing it as Rodney Dangerfield during the holiday party at The Comic Strip!
He said, ” I only get ugly girls. I went out with one girl who was so ugly, I bent down to pet her cat, it was the hair on her legs! She was a very ugly girl.”
Then I wrote jokes for his act. “You know my doctor, Dr. Vinnie Boombotz! I told him my ankles were swollen. He told me to build up my calf muscles and no one would notice! “
“My brother was tough. He was so tough, he got a job in a gas station, … as a jack!”
I remember being so excited when he used one of my lines as his opener with Johnny Carson. His standard opening was ” I’m alright now but last week was rough. Then he followed it up with my line: “I bought one of those whirlpools for my bathtub! The first night I used it I lost three of my best ships!”
Writing for Rodney was one of the most fun times of my life. We used to hang out together in his dressing room at the club. He would usually be in his bathrobe and pajamas which is how he liked to hang out at the club. And not a particularly fancy bathrobe either! He’d say things to me like, ” Hey Jeff, you know the difference between Italians and Jews?” I’d be like, ” No Rodney, what’s the difference?” He said, ” They both take a leak in the sink, but the Jews take the dishes out first!” He was always so hysterical!
Anyway, Andy nailed it. If you closed your eyes, you would have thought Rodney was there. That’s how good he was! Ray Ellin told him to stop wasting his time doing his own act!
The videos I shot will also be used for the documentary film being made on The Strip! Watch the action right here!
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV shooting a promo in front of The Comic Strip right before the 35th annual Holiday party!
Richie and Jeannie Tienken having the best time at The Comic Strip’s 35th annual Holiday party!
The comedy world is still in shock from the passing of the great Patrice O’Neal. I attended the services for Patrice yesterday at the Park Avenue Christian Church, on 85th Street and Park Avenue in New York City. I purposely did not use the word “funeral” because the program for the service was entitled “Going Home Services” for Patrice O’Neal.
Plus “funeral” is such a sad word, and as sad as it was to think of Patrice no longer being with us, the comedians who honored Patrice made it more into a “Fun-eral”! If it was possible to put the “fun” into “Funeral” they did it.
The Reverend spoke beautifully, and there were two world class singers. The first was Michael Wheeler who sang, ” I Know Who Holds Tomorrow”, and then the beautiful Antonique Smith sang ” Let It Be.” Their voices were like angels. Powerful angels! But I could almost see Patrice sneaking out, because I knew him as a humble man, (when he wasn’t on stage), and the attention, and having everything be all about him might have made him uncomfortable!
Jim Norton read the Obituary, which chronicled Patrice’s life and career, starting from when he was born in New York City and raised in Roxbury, Massachusetts, (where he led Roxbury High School to a football state championship in his senior year), to his recent first CD entitled “Mr.P”, which sadly will be released posthumously.
Patrice was a huge man in every way. At 6’5″ and 300 pounds he was a commanding presence, but not imposing when you were a friend. From the first time I met him, and told him I thought we should be roommates so we could save money and share clothing, I think he got a kick out of me! He laughed out loud at that one!
Standing side by side we couldn’t have been more different, but we were so much alike. And he knew that. And that was a Blessing to me. Patrice got me. He knew who I was, and welcomed me into his world.
Jeffrey Gurian with Patrice O’Neal at a comedy event for which Jeffrey was honored as part of Black History Month!
Whenever I saw him, I was compelled to hug him. There was just something about him, as big as he was, that just drew me to him. I can’t explain it in words, but he understood it, because when we were on the radio together and he would explain to his audience who I was, and why he had me on with him, he did it with love and affection. I told him if we ever did TV together he should walk out holding me in his arms like a baby! He laughed at that too!
(I also once told the head of the Hell’s Angels, who was about the same size as Patrice, that if anyone ever bothered him to let me know! I like doing that to really huge men. It makes them feel relaxed when they can have a good laugh!)
Many comics said he was harsh with them, or put them down in some way. I can honestly say I NEVER had that experience with Patrice. Patrice never ridiculed me, or gave me a hard time, as comics often like to do to each other. It seems to be some strange right of passage. I actually have tapes of us on air that I treasure, where Patrice said I was “amazing”, and that he was “envious” of me! I have it here, and it’s right at the beginning!
Our ideas of how to meet beautiful women couldn’t have been more opposite. I could NEVER get away with saying the things he said to women, and he could NEVER get away with saying the things I said, nor would he want to. He knew you had to be who you were. It had to come naturally from the heart! You couldn’t fake it.
That’s why to people who thought he was a misogynist, I say, you had no idea what he was about. He truly loved women. He just didn’t like what men had to go through to get them. How a woman’s power could reduce men to being such bumbling jerks!
Patrice could imitate a little girl’s voice on stage and you would see his gentle side come out. It was easy for him to expose that side of himself, because Patrice had nothing to hide. He was comfortable with who he was.
There was nothing you could say to embarrass Patrice, and there was nothing he wouldn’t say either on stage or in a personal conversation. One of my most treasured memories of Patrice is the excited phone call he made to me at 4 A.M. after one of our episodes of The Black Phillip Show on Sirius Radio. He was so happy with how it went that he wanted to call me that night, and suggest we do a show together, but he was so humble that he said he didn’t want to “assume” anything, … as if I might not want to do it! I jumped at the chance, but unfortunately it never developed. Shortly afterwards he went on the road, and like what happens with so many good ideas, it never came to fruition. Now it never will!
If you listen to it right here, you can hear the enthusiasm in his voice!
I write a lot about people in the comedy world who I’ve known over the many years I’ve been in it, and there’s a tendency when you do that to make it seem like it’s about you. How this person was to you. I wrote about ten drafts of this post trying not to do that.
I hope this post comes across as me attempting to explain how Patrice made me feel. If Patrice genuinely liked you, you felt validated. In terms of my comedy, a lot of people have no idea what I do. He took the time to find out.
In the obituary that Norton read, when he was talking about Patrice on “Tough Crowd With Colin Quinn”, he said that “many fans saw Patrice as the shows most controversial and obstinate performer, although only on the subjects of race, religion, gender, relationships, social status, and foreign policy! (LOLOLOL) Patrice was so smart. as I’ve described him before, he was not just a comedian, he was a comedy philosopher!
To some degree all comedians are comedy philosophers, giving you their world view. But Patrice was lightyears ahead in that respect. By the time he left the stage, and very often, he’d stay up there for a while, because he could pontificate, … you really felt you knew him. He made it very clear how he felt on certain subjects.
Several of Patrice’s closest friends got to give him a tribute. Robert Kelly, Wil Sylvince, Colin Quinn, Kevin Hart, and Rich Vos all spoke about the man we were there to honor.
Colin gave a heartfelt tribute, and also made us laugh, first by commenting on Robert Kelly’s opening with a fat joke about himself, and then with his stories of Patrice on Tough Crowd, how Patrice could go on for 20 minutes essentially taking over the whole show, and then say, “Sorry Colin, what do you think? After all, it’s your show!”
Robert Kelly was moved to tears during his tribute as was Kevin Hart. Wil Sylvince who had been Patrice’s roommate at one time said that Patrice spoke “Wil” and was able to translate when people didn’t understand what Wil was saying due to his speech impediment, … which I always thought was just a strong Haitian accent! (LOL)
By the time Rich Vos got up to speak, there had already been lots of laughter, which I know Patrice would have appreciated, especially when Vos told the crowd he’d be selling his CD after the service! I’m sure everyone there had a favorite Patrice story. I’m grateful that I get to give my tribute here!
Then Patrice’s beautiful stepdaughter Aymilyon got up to speak, read a prayer and talked about how “Mr. P.” which is what she called him, had added so much to her life in the seven years he was with her Mom Von. Von is Vondecarlo Brown, Patrice’s wife, and a talented singer/songwriter as well who wrote the song “Cool Ride” for Patrice’s recent one hour Comedy Central special “Elephant In The Room”. It was at that taping that Patrice brought me backstage to introduce me to his Mom, Gloria. You feel proud when someone does that.
It’s like dating someone and they decide it’s time for you to meet their parents! It’s an honor.
I got to the chapel an hour early hoping to see Von so I could express my personal condolences. I hadn’t seen her for a while, but she if anyone, knew what Patrice and I meant to each other. She was in a back room closed off for family so I just made sure I got a good seat and waited for the service to start along with everyone else. So many people came out to honor Patrice. Chris Rock was there, Dave Attell, Bill Burr, Gary Gulman, Ben Bailey, Jay Oakerson, Todd Barry, Keith Robinson, Wanda Sykes, and many more. Several people called and texted me that they were so sorry they were out of town. Macio was in Florida and Wayne Rada was very upset that his plane was delayed coming from Florida, and that he missed it. He and Patrice had a lot of history.
I was sitting on an aisle with Sherrod Small and his girlfriend Marisa. As the family procession came down the center aisle, I saw Von and was nervous to try and get her attention, because those kinds of situations can be very awkward. But as she passed me, she looked into my eyes and I threw her a kiss and touched my heart, and she got it.
After the service when everyone was leaving, I went into the back and was able to see her for a moment. We embraced, and I was able to tell her how sorry I was for her loss. She knew how much I loved Patrice, and as I tried to explain the bond we had, she said she knew, and that made me feel good. Even with his passing, it was important for me to know that Patrice felt the same way about me! And in the midst of her sadness, she did me the kindness of saying, “I was happy to see your face when I was walking down the aisle.” I can’t tell you how that made me feel. Just writing this brings tears to my eyes!
R.I.P. Patrice! You were a one-of-a-kind, and much loved!
Jeffrey Gurian in his last photo with Patrice O’Neal taken at The Comic Strip on 9/27/11!
P.S. As a sick perfectionist, more than once I asked Patrice the proper way to spell his last name, either with an apostrophe or without, and he told me whichever way I wanted was ok, which I never really understood. On the program it was spelled with an apostrophe!
The packed room that came to see Sebastian Maniscalco last night at Gotham Comedy Club got an extra little treat, a surprise performance by Jim Gaffigan. After MC Buddy Fitzpatrick’s great warming up of the crowd, which is a rare talent as anyone who’s ever had to warm up a cold crowd can attest to, Jim came on and killed it for ten minutes.
Sebastian Maniscalco destroying the audience on stage at Gotham Comedy Club in NYC!
I’ll never forget when I interviewed Jim for my book, he told me he suffered with severe stage fright for the first six years of his career. You’d certainly never know it and I think of that a lot before I go on stage when I’m feeling a little anxious! You never know what you say to someone that resonates with them and has an affect on their lives.
Jim’s favorite topic seems to revolve around food, and he did a lot of material about McDonalds. Like about how good McDonald’s fries are, but if you try and reheat them in the microwave they become packing peanuts! He even comments on that one loose fry it’s so exciting to find at the bottom of the bag. He calls it “the bonus fry!” It’s always long and you find yourself wondering, ” How did I miss you?”
(L-R) Sebastian Maniscalco, Jim Gaffigan and Gotham owner Chris Mazzilli at Gotham Comedy Club!
He commented on hotels providing stationery, because like me, the moment he checks into a hotel the first thing he likes to do is write a letter!
Next up was Rajiv Satyal, an Indian comic from LA. Russell Peters gave a lot of Indian guys the courage to show they can be funny! (LOL) Rajiv talked about how different ethnicities mispronounce certain sounds in English, like the Asians with “R’s” and “L’s” and the Indians with “V’s” and “W’s”. He went into a Subway looking for a healthy sandwich and the Indian guy behind the counter offered him a “Weggie”, ( pronounced Wedgie!) I think I laughed out loud at that one! Great visual of a guy behind the counter grabbing a customer by the underwear!
Rajiv Satyal on stage at Gotham proving more than one Indian guy can be funny!
Then Sebastian took the stage. The first time I met him was on the Kandy Kruise from LA to Mexico. Five hundred guys and 1500 girls all from Maxim, Playboy and Penthouse. It was sick. and he was one of the “Playboy comics”. Just to get people just to show up for the show at all was a big accomplishment when there’s that many gorgeous girls to look at!
I saw him again this past July in Montreal when he was on Russell Peters’ show “Best of the Fest”, which Russell described as just another night of comedy in LA! (LOL) We were hanging out backstage after the show, where I took the photo below.
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with Sebastian Maniscalco backstage with Russell Peters in Montreal!
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV backstage with Russell Peters at his show in Montreal, “Best of the Fest”!
The thing about Sebastian is that he makes comedy “hip”! Some comics play off their “lameness”, but Sebastian is cool. He slips into his Jersey Shore Italian voice, when he’s talking about the dancing and meeting girls on the club scene, and almost becomes Vinnie Barbarino, for those of you who remember John Travolta in those days. he’s so relaxed, and very physical which I never expect him to be. He dances around and often acts out his material, which is great! Most of the time, I stand there like I’m nailed to the stage! (LOL)
He started out talking about Customer Service at the airport, and how the people who work there look upset that you even showed up to fly. And what if your bag happens to be four pounds over the weight limit? They make you take four pounds of clothing out? And where are you supposed to put it? In your carry-on! It’s still going on the plane!!!
That actually happened to me, but it was about ten pounds I had to take out. Unlike most people, I don’t often travel with a clothing scale, so I’m guessing on the weight of each thing while people are walking by and I’m frantically grabbing things out of my bag and mentally weighing them! Trust me, it’s only funny afterwards!
He’s always busy, so he wonders about these people that have the time to demonstrate in the street, or to show up every day to follow a trial like the Michael Jackson trial. ” Whatta youse people do when there’s no trial? You got nothin’ else to do?
He even talks about “kids these days” without sounding like a comic from the Ed Sullivan days. If his father took him and his family out to eat there was no such thing as saying you didn’t like the food. “Chicken and broccoli? One look from his father and he’d be like, ” Don’t worry, I’ll get it down.” These days kids complain they don’t like the menu, and a Mom might say something like, “Timmy, is that a good choice?”
But when he talked about his Dad not being too tech savvy and he was trying to guide him onto the internet over the phone, that was hysterical! Especially when his Dad asked what to do with the foot pedal! He had put the mouse on the floor trying to work it with his foot! Sebastian had to tell him, ” It’s not a sewing machine Dad, it’s a computer!”
I hope I get to see him again soon! He was really great!
I just got the sad news that Patrice Oneal left us last night. He’s been on my mind every day since I heard he had a stroke on Oct. 19th. Mortality is always a weird concept to try and grasp. To think that one day you’re suddenly not here anymore is a sobering thought. When it happens to someone old you kind of expect it. When it happens to someone young who you know it shakes you to the core.
Patrice Oneal at Carolines back in 2002! He looked like a baby version of himself!
Patrice had so many friends in the comedy community and I’m proud to say I was one of them. Patrice was like a comedy philosopher. I respected his intelligence. He had a well thought out philosophy. And I respected his allegiance to his style and his choice of material. He wouldn’t bend to those who asked him to change his style, or to soften things up a little bit. He had to be who he was. I used to love watching him work. He’d take the stage, sit on a stool, and just pontificate.
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with honored guest Patrice Oneal at a comedy workshop that Jeffrey was giving at Gotham Comedy Club!
One year I was honored as part of Black History Month for creating comedy workshops for inner city kids. It was a beautiful event at Hunter College. The workshops were held at Gotham Comedy Club and one of my honored guests was Patrice Oneal. He took the stage and held court for a while as was his style. He was only supposed to do a short set, but he was so kind, and the crowd loved him so much, he just kept on going. He even did a Q & A afterwards and posed for photos will all who asked.
When I did my book “Filthy, Funny and Totally Offensive” I knew I could count on Patrice to give me some killer jokes. I had written jokes for the Friars Roasts for many years and was asked by journalist Tripp Whetsell, to do a book on celebs favorite nasty jokes. I got 250 celebs to tell me nasty, nasty shit! Paul Provenza wrote the foreward to the book, and Patrice had one of the longest entries. I gave him a full two pages, where most comics had one joke. And I kept a bookmark on Patrice’s page so when people came to my house, I showed them Patrice’s jokes as a representation of what to expect.
He began by asking women,” How would you keep your man if you didn’t have a pu**y? Say there was a terrible train accident, and the doctor was like, ” We gotta remove your pu**y right away or you’re gonna die.” How would you keep your man past the three months of like, ” I can’t leave the bitch, cause she just lost her pu**y in a train accident!” It goes on and on and gets funnier as you go. Only Patrice knew how to pull off material like that!
He also described weird sexual techniques that he felt Black men needed to learn from White men,including “The Fishhook”, “The Blumpkin”, “The Omelet”, “The Donkey Punch”, “The Fish Eye”, “The Chicken Cutlet”, “Puff The Magic Dragon”, “The Angry Pirate”, “The Houdini”, and last but not least “The Spider Man.” It’s all in the book.
After I did my first Black Phillip Show with him, which was part of Opie and Anthony’s “Virus” he was so jazzed about how we performed together he left me this really sincere, and meaningful message on my phone at 4 A.M. I can’t tell you how much it meant to me to be respected comedically by someone like Patrice!
Patrice Oneal in “pimp-style” with Opie from Opie and Anthony backstage at Gotham Comedy Club!
Patrice Oneal, Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV, and Dante Nero at The Black Phillip Show in 2008!
He asked me to be his co-host along with Dante Nero, not only because we were funny together but because he said I was the only white man he ever met who knew all the words to “Bitch Betta Have My Money”, a hip-hop classic from AMG from back in 1992. It happened to be his theme song.
He loved when I brought “hot” girls on the show which I did each time I came on. Dante said I had magical powers and he and Patrice named me a “Level 12 Pimp”, a title I wore proudly, because they meant it with the kind of respect one guy gives another when they brag about how crazy their friend is!
(L-R) Dante Nero, Catherine Leak, Drew Boogie, Dawn Leak, Jeffrey Gurian, Carlotta Butler, and Patrice Oneal in the studio at The Black Phillip Show!
Patrice always liked when I brought beautiful girls on the show. This time I brought Jacqueline Beaulieu, my muse at the time, straight from a fashion show runway, with Patrice Oneal, me, and Dante Nero at The Black Phillip Show!
The last time I saw him was on September 27th when he came to The Comic Strip to be one of the judges on The Lottery Show. He had been asked by host Sherrod Small, and when Sherrod told him on stage how much he appreciated it, Patrice said, ” You better appreciate it motherfucker!” I’m so glad I got the chance to catch up with him, and get some video and photos with him as I always did when I saw him.
(L-R) Jordan Rock, Robert Kelly, Patrice Oneal, and Paul Mecurio judging The Lottery Show at The Comic Strip on 9/27/11!
When I heard what condition his stroke had left him in and that he was only able to blink his eyes but yet still had his consciousness, which meant he was aware of what was happening, I thought to myself, no one deserves that kind of a nightmare. This is only my opinion. I have no way of knowing. But I think that no matter how much Patrice loved his wife Von, and his Mom Gloria, and I know he loved them with all his heart, he wouldn’t let himself live in that kind of condition. Patrice did things HIS way! I could see him willing himself to leave the planet, rather than stay in that kind of helpless state.
Opening act and close Patrice friend, Harris Stanton, Vondecarlo ( Patrice’s wife), and Patrice Oneal backstage at The Skirball Center after taping a Comedy Central special!
Harris Stanton, Jeffrey Gurian, and Patrice Oneal backstage at The Skirball Center after the taping of Patrice’s Comedy Central special!
In any case, I know he knew he was loved, and I hope he knew how much he’ll be missed! I’m very, very sad right now!
R.I.P. my friend! And thank you for all of your kindnesses!!!
In honor of Patrice, Comedy Central will be re-airing his one hour special tonight, Wed. 11/30, “The Elephant In The Room” with an edited version at 8 P.M. and an unedited version at midnight.
See the previous Comedy Matters post on Patrice for more photos and video – http://wp.me/p1pHIm-Aj
For Free Books, Private Celeb Videos and One-On-One Skype Calls To Meet Jeffrey Please Join Our Patreon Page
