Archive for Comedy Matters

Lynne Koplitz Proves Beauty and Comedy Go Well Together!

They say that beautiful women can’t be funny! Who “they” are no one actually knows, but whoever “they” are, Lynne Koplitz disproves that myth.

The beautiful, sexy, and funny Lynne Koplitz with Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV at Gotham Comedy Club in NYC!

She also did a very brave thing. At least I thought it was brave. She was headlining Gotham Comedy Club, and taping her show to be used for an upcoming project, and with her manager Rick Dorfman in the audience, one of the top comedy managers in the biz, (who also works with JB Smoove), she decided to go off on her own, and not do the act she had been preparing to do.

It was the first show of her weekend headlining gig, and instead of doing her prepared material, she did what I compared to a Patrice O’Neal type of performance, which she thanked me for. She said I got what she was doing.

She was looking for truth, and talked to the audience about all kinds of things, mostly about getting older, and the state of her life. It was very ballsy, and I had to give her props for that. She even said about herself, “This stripper is chatty!”

Lynne Koplitz onstage at Gotham offering an audience member a sip of her drink!

The last time I had seen her was this past summer in Montreal in the lobby of the Hyatt Hotel, where I interviewed her for my Comedy Matters TV channel, which was chosen as the official celeb interviewer at the festival. She was nursing a broken shoe, which she also attributed as part of her hooker look! It’s about 31 minutes and 58 seconds in!

I’m sure the rest of her shows were her regular material but only someone who has performed before an audience knows how hard it is to perform at all, and then to get up and do something you didn’t expect to do makes it all that much harder. She’s a courageous performer to do something like that.

Jimmy Failla was the MC and is always reliably funny, and a great host. One of the lines that stuck out for me is that he wanted a child who would be friendly to other children, so he named his son Sandusky!

MC Jimmy Failla warming up the crowd at Gotham Comedy Club!

Ryan Hamilton gave a stand-out performance, and got huge laughs. Starting from the moment he walked out on stage. Before he even said a word!

Only in comedy are we happy when people laugh at our appearance. Performers use it as a prop. Not like a Gallagher or Carrot Top prop that you have to pull out of a suitcase, but a prop you always have with you! Your face!!!

Ryan Hamilton and Jeffrey Gurian from Comedy Matters TV after a wild hot-air balloon ride, at Gotham Comedy Club!

Audiences always like when comics tell them who they look like. With me it’s a cross between Phil Spector and Elton John. Ryan says he looks like a comedy club logo. And because of that he can’t even go to a funeral. It wouldn’t be appropriate! (LOL)

Ryan Hamilton onstage, describing himself as looking like the logo for a comedy club!

He did a fantastic bit on hot air ballooning, about taking a girl up in a hot air balloon on a date. You have to go early, like 5 A.M. and it takes two hours which means you’re finished at 7 A.M. Not a particularly romantic time of the day!

He described it as a romantic experience with a guy standing in the corner. In a thing made of wicker. Wicker makes him nervous even on the ground.

And the guy who flies it calls himself a pilot! Ryan felt that was a very generous term to use. The guy doesn’t even know where we’re going! Do you wanna go up or down??? (LOL) Those are your two choices!

He also said he went out with a girl he knew from the 3rd grade who suggested they pick up where they left off, so he pulled her hair, and ran away!

Another great show at Gotham!

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Lisa Lampanelli, "Loveable Queen of Mean" Comes To Westbury

In the comedy world where backbiting and jealousy are so rampant, its nice to be able to feel happy for someone’s success. With Lisa Lampanelli I get that opportunity all the time. Lisa is a comedy superstar, who I’ve had the pleasure of knowing for many years now.

Lisa Lampanelli and Jeffrey Gurian at The Friars Club for Lisa’s singing debut!

I knew her when she was about 100 pounds heavier and as she lost weight over the years I sometimes worried that it might affect her career. If it did, it was only for the better, because now not only is she just hysterically funny, but she is also an inspiration for people who want to change their lives.

Lisa Lampanelli and Jeffrey Gurian back in the day, circa 2002!

It doesn’t take much incentive to stay the way you are. Anyone can do that. But to take your current situation and decide that you’ve had enough of living like that, and decide to make a change is a rare and admirable trait. Most people don’t do it. I did it in my own life, as a former severe stutterer, whose speech could easily have kept me from accomplishing anything in my life that had to do with speaking, which is just about everything!

Instead I drew on some inner strength I didn’t know I had, and by focussing all of my energy, and refusing to continue my life as a stutterer, I was able to conquer that “disability”, and go on to do many things where I use my speech in public, like appearing on radio and TV, performing, and addressing large crowds of people, none of which I would ever have done as a stutterer.

Lisa did that by having the courage and determination to change her appearance into the rich, glamorous woman she is today, and I’m sure she’s still pleasantly surprised every time she looks in the mirror, which I hope is a lot these days! (LOL)

The new and improved Lisa Lampanelli, post weight-loss surgery! What an amazing transformation! Photo by Andrew Coppa.

She and her handsome husband Jimmy Cannizzaro, who has gone from looking like a building with clothes to just a garden apartment with clothes,
(and I mean that only in the best way!) (LOL) have done it together. It would have been too weird for just one of them to go through such a drastic change.

Jimmy Cannizzaro and Lisa Lampanelli at the Donald Trump Roast before they both went through their dramatic transformations!

Now her comedy is a whole other thing. She’s known as “The Loveable Queen of Mean”, which is a perfect title for her, as opposed to the “Queen of Mean” title that Leona Helmsley carried. It’s very fitting in Lisa’s case since in my mind she does a very important public service beyond making people laugh. She allows people to laugh at themselves before they laugh at each other.

Very few comics can do that, and the reason she can is because she comes from a place of love. You know that there’s no hatred in her heart for any ethnic group or sexual persuasion, which is why her comedy is so popular with every group. Russell Peters does something similar which is why I refer to him as “The Messiah of Comedy”. His audience is completely multi-ethnic, and within moments he has every group laughing at themselves and each other.

People can sense where you’re coming from when you say something and with Lisa they know it’s all in fun. This Friday, Jan, 18th she brings her unique talents to Westbury Theatre. I can’t wait to go and see her. When I spoke to her earlier this week she had this to say:

“I can’t wait to come back to Westbury Music Fair or whatever the f- that venue is calling itself today. Actually, when I play there, they should just call it the ‘T&A Theatre.’ No, that’s not short for ‘Tits & Ass.’ It’s short for Terrorizing and Antagonizing, which is what I do best! But for some reason people seem to be able to take it, and the people of Long Island are some of the best at that!”

The world needs Lisa Lampanelli. There’s too much Political Correctness and instead of bring people together, by making them respect each other, (which I think may have been the original intention), it’s actually divided people by making every group hypersensitive to the remarks of others. Lisa helps to break down those barriers and in doing so is doing a tremendous public service!

Lisa is also in my new book Make ‘Em Laugh” with Chris Rock about the 35 year history of the legendary comedy club “The Comic Strip” for which she gave me such a cool interview!

Jeffrey Gurian and Lisa Lampanelli the day Lisa did the interview for Jeffrey’s book ” Make ‘Em Laugh”!

She’s even part of my ” Dancing With Comedians” series of photos, of which very few comics have made the cut!

Jeffrey Gurian dancing with Lisa Lampanelli as part of his rare “Dancing With Comedians” photo series!

I can’t wait to see her at Westbury and then again at The Apollo at the end of the month! More on that to come!

For Westbury tickets, you can go to:

Ticketmaster — more specifically, http://concerts.livenation.com/event/00004957D54AC7A0?crosssite=TM_US:909543:141

Or you can get tickets on Lisa’s website, which is also cool to experience, at http://www.insultcomic.com

No matter how you do it, just do it and look for me there, and come say “Hi!” If you don’t see me, it just means I’m backstage taking photos! (LOL)

www.HyperSmash.com

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Kroll Show Debuts on Comedy Central-Wed. 1/16/13-10:30 E/T

Nick Kroll is a master of characters. He’s a chameleon. (And by comparing him to a lizard, I mean that only in the best sense! LOL)

When he’s in his Gil Faizon mode as you’ll see in the accompanying video, I can not see Nick Kroll. His facial expressions don’t look like they even belong to him. Same with Bobby Bottleservice, or Fabrice Fabrice. And putting him together with his longtime friend, writing partner, and SNL staple John Mulaney, the other half of the “Oh, Hello” boys, creates comedy energy on a level you could only describe as “nuclear”!

Bobby Bottleservice may be my favorite character because I’ve known so many guys like that. And he nails it 1,000 percent. I have my Bobby Bottleservice poster hanging prominently in my writing room from the time I went down to see Bobby at a special event in a clothing store,(it could have been Ed Hardy! LOL) where he was making a personal appearance as Bobby B, and signing posters. On mine he wrote. ” To Jeff, You are the only person with better hair than me!”

Bobby Bottleservice and Jeffrey Gurian at a promo event in NYC, where Bobby was making a personal appearance!

I was good friends with the late Phil Hartman who was also greatly respected for his amazing character work, and I hope Nick doesn’t mind the comparison, because I don’t like to compare talents, but I think Nick is the new Phil Hartman. The great thing is that if Nick was on an ensemble show like SNL he’d only get to show his talent sporadically throughout the show. By having his own show,he can really shine by being in every single sketch, which I hope he is!

Phil Hartman and Jeffrey Gurian at the piano in Jeffrey’s living room after a writing session, Oct., 1990!

And all of his friends are involved as well, like Ed Helms, Jason Mantzoukas, Jon Daly, and Paul Scheer, which adds to the level of performance because they know each other so well. Jon Daly functions as talent and also as a producer on the show. I could watch Nick and Jon in Rich Dicks all night, and I wouldn’t be surprised if that sketch turns into a spin-off show on it’s own.

Nick Kroll and his friends breaking for lunch on the set of Kroll Show in LA, 3-20-12!

Ed Helms and Jeffrey Gurian on the LA set of Kroll Show. Ed had gotten up to take a call and was not part of the previous lunch scene photo, but he was there!

Jason Mantzoukas who plays Rafi in FX’s The League, with Jeffrey Gurian on the LA set of Kroll Show. This was just before Jason co-starred with Sacha Baron Cohen in The Dictator!

Comic Joe Mande is on the show, and you’ll see him in the video above as well. When Nick brought me out to LA last March to tape some sketches with him and John Mulaney, I got to meet Joe Mande and like me, he wound up also making his Kroll Show debut by doing a sketch involving tuna fish. The door to my trailer actually had me listed as “Tuna Jeff”, a name I have worn proudly ever since! (LOL)

Jeffrey Gurian’s trailer door on the LA set of “Kroll Show”, clearly identifying him as ” Tuna Jeff”!

On the set of Kroll Show during the “Woody Allen party sketch” with Jeffrey Gurian, Gil Faizon, Karen Black, and George St. Geegland!

One of my faves is when Bobby Bottleservice is talking on the phone with sexy aspiring singer, (not perspiring, … aspiring!) Farley, played magnificently by Chelsea Peretti. Bobby is trying to sweet talk Farley as a “record producer” who wants to work with her, and Farley entices him further by saying ” A lot of people say I have a real cute laugh!” And then she does it!

Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV at The Comedy Store in LA. with the funny and sexy Chelsea Peretti, aka Farley on the new Kroll Show!

I don’t know why girls like that are still sexy to me, but they are! (LOL) Suddenly his mother, who even the thought of always brings tears to his eyes, interrupts their video chat, and he tries to pass off his Mom as his secretary.

She calls him down for dinner telling him his food would get cold, and he responds all choked up, ” I would never let a meal go cold on you Ma!” Unbelievably funny!

This sketch is a “must see” as far as I’m concerned! (No one knows exactly how far that is, but it’s pretty far!)

All you need to do is look at Nick’s Twitter page to see the multitude of characters that he’s capable of.

A couple of months back Nick, Jon Daly and producer John Levenstein, a great guy who is also involved in the hit show Arrested Development with David Cross, debuted some of Kroll Show at Comic Con 2012, and I was there to interview them. So many Johns! John Mulaney, John Levenstein, and Jon Daly, who somehow genetically seems to have lost the “H” in his name. And the show is directed by yet another Jon, the amazing Jon Krisel also known for creating Portlandia for Fred Armisen.

Jeffrey Gurian with director Jon Krisel, one of the many “Johns” that populate the L.A, set of Kroll Show!

Rumour has it that some men NOT named John, or any variation there-of are also involved with the show!

Kroll Show is a fantastic piece of work, and I know it will be a HUGE hit! I wish them all luck, and can’t wait to see it, … and be on it!

www.HyperSmash.com

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Dean Edwards Packs ‘Em In at Gotham Comedy Club

Dean Edwards is one of those rare guys who starts out strong and gets even stronger the longer he’s on stage. When most comics are winding down, he’s just getting started. Last night at Gotham, the room was so packed they almost had to put strangers at my table! (LOL) That’s packed!

Headliner Dean Edwards with Gotham owner Chris Mazzilli at the gorgeous Gotham Comedy Club!

And Dean greeted me warmly when I came in which made it even more special. Then he told me had had my book ” Make ‘Em Laugh” and that made it even better, and then he topped that by telling me he was in Barry Katz’s office out in LA and when he walked in Barry had my book on his desk!

Barry is one of the co-creators of Last Comic Standing and one of the top comedy managers in the biz. Last July in Montreal we did a “two-hug interview” for my Comedy Matters TV, which you can see right here. A “two-hug” interview by the way, is a very rare occurrence! (LOL) This may be the only one in existence!

Dean and I will always have a special moment that we shared because I was standing with him in Montreal during the Just for Laughs Festival when he found out he had gotten SNL. It was very exciting for me, so I can only imagine how HE felt! (LOL)

Dean Edwards and Jeffrey Gurian from Comedy Matters TV outside the showroom at Gotham Comedy Club!

Karen Bergreen was the MC and Karen is always funny, and really knows how to warm up an audience! She mines her relationship with her two little boys for material, and she imitates them perfectly! Not that I know them, but for all intents and purposes, it sounds like she imitates them perfectly!

MC/comic Karen Bergreen onstage at Gotham Comedy Club!

Like when they were riding in a cab where the driver was wearing a turban, and her little six year old son asked, ” Mommy, why is a genie driving our taxi?” That is hysterical! I’m sure the driver had no idea what that meant either! (LOL)

And when her older 8 year old son told her something he liked about her that was kind of a backhanded compliment she answered with, “And the only think I like about you more than your little brother is that your school day is longer!”

Harris Stanton came up next and he too is always a crowd pleaser. He was also very close to Patrice Oneal and was on Patrice’s last big show when he taped “Elephant in the Room” down at the Skirball Theatre. I used to see him a lot when I was hanging out at CB’s Comedy Club down on Macdougal Street!

Anyway he totally brought his A-game to the stage, and talked about how New York has changed him since he was a polite young man who came here from down South. Now he raced a woman to a seat on the subway!

Harris Stanton onstage, opening for Dean Edwards at Gotham Comedy Club!

And I like when he does a bit about how people shouldn’t complain if they get hurt being someplace they’re not supposed to be, and he directed this remark mostly to white people. Like if a guy gets bit by a shark. Harris is like, “Where were you when it happened? In the ocean? Well you see that’s the problem. You were in the shark’s home. If you got bit by a shark in the supermarket, I’d feel bad for you, but if you go into the ocean where you don’t belong, you gotta expect that to happen.

Or when guys get lost climbing a mountain. Another white guy thing! You don’t read about Black guys getting lost in an avalanche, or being attacked by a shark while surfing. Only white guys do stuff like that!

Rich Francese always has great lines and he was up next. He said he thought his wife was cheating on him, because the other day he caught her belittling another man! That’s really funny!

Rich “The Bouncer” Francese killing it onstage at Gotham Comedy Club!

He also said he didn’t get the concept of an ‘intervention”. At an intervention the alcoholic or drug addict is surrounded by his parents, relatives and loved ones. Aren’t those the people who made you drink and take drugs in the first place?”

Dean’s audience was waiting for him, and he hit the stage to resounding applause. He talked about lots of different things. Like people who read the NY Times always want you to know they read the NY Times! “Like, … I saw this article in the NY Times, …”

Personally the NY Times makes me nervous. Especially the Sunday edition. I always feel like I’m gonna have to cut out articles and summarize them for the next day as “Current Events” homework! I still hate Sundays because of that memory!

If you take a moment to watch this you’ll see a little film I made some years ago as part of The “Men Who” Series, about men who do very unusual things. It’s called “Men Who Dance In Traffic With The Sunday Edition of the NY Times.” That’s about all it’s good for! (LOL)

In talking about women, Dean says he wants a woman so fine that when she enters a room, she has her own theme music, and it plays automatically!

He did a masterful piece which got an applause break about being the only Black guy on a flight to Russia, where they thought he was Kobe Bryant, and he imitated the Russian accent like it was a Grinch song backwards.

Dean Edwards showing lots of expression during his sold out headlining gig at Gotham!

Accents and impressions are a real strongpoint for Dean, and his Eddie Murphy is only surpassed by his Denzel Washington which he used to close the show the night I saw him.

In talking about Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney Kardashian he said that never in this country have Black men been so supportive of the KKK! And that Kim Kardashian has taken out more Black men than Sickle Cell Anemia! That is HYSTERICAL!

On comparing his Associates Degree education to that of his wife who is a professional, with a Post-Graduate degree, he said an associates degree is like a receipt that you were in the building, … nothing more! Nothing to brag about!

He even does impressions of animals! When he described Beyonce as being so fine she was like a stallion, he pranced around the stage clip-clopping like a horse.

But ending on introducing his wife to Denzel Washington was the piece-de-resistance, that proves what an “artiste” Dean Edwards is! Plus he’s the nicest guy you’d ever want to meet!

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The 36th Annual Christmas/Chanukah Party at The Comic Strip

For the last 36 years, which is a claim probably no other comedy club in NYC can make, The Comic Strip has held it’s annual Holiday party. This year was no exception and I had the honor of being one of the hosts, so I invited lots of fun people and lots of great girls.

Jeffrey Gurian and Lauren Francesca dressed as her “Jeffrey Gurian created character, Besame Mucho”! Unfortunately she didn’t wear this outfit to the party but she was there in all her glory!

Both my agent JL Stermer, and my publisher Julie Matysik from Skyhorse Publishing were there, adding to the “beautiful women factor”!

(L-R) JL Stermer. Jeffrey Gurian, and Julie Matysik at the Comic Strip holiday party!

Jim Mendrinos who is always funny, and a great host, hosted the show which featured a surprise visit from comic Hiram Kasten, who I hadn’t seen since the 80’s when I was hanging out with, and writing for Rodney Dangerfield. Hiram was a regular at Dangerfields in those days, but I think has been out in LA for many years.

The party was amazing, and really packed with hundreds of people, including tons of comics a few of whom were Tony Woods, Brian Scott McCarthy, Abbi Crutchfield, Joe Rocha, PJ Landers, Nancy Lombardo, Andrea Mezvinsky, Stu Trivax, and the legend Gladys Simon, plus reporter/comic Marlaina Schiavo, TV star Robin Byrd, internet star Lauren Francesca, Hazel Pascual running for Miss New York State, and Mark Malkoff from My Damn Channel, with his beautiful wife Christine!

Mark Malkoff from My Damn Channel, and his beautiful wife Christine!

Gladys Simon and Andrea Mezvinsky at the Comic Strip holiday party!

Owner/founder Richie Tienken went all out on providing tons of food and open bar for all the guests, and his wife Jeannie and son Richie were there adding to the festivities!

Manager JR helped plan the entertainment which was an assortment of homemade videos by the comics, and a couple of imitations, one being of ME!!! Comic Sean P. Darr did his second annual impression of me, and next year I will insist on helping him with it so that he gets my lines down right.

Sean P. Darr taking the stage as Jeffrey Gurian!

He got the hair and the scarf, but didn’t get the glasses, or the act! (LOL) It’s not really possible to imitate me anyway, … right??? (LOL)

Sean P. Darr doing his version of The 12 Days of Christmas as Jeffrey Gurian!

Anyway there were lots of beautiful girls there too as you’ll see in the photos below:

Sheryl always comes out to support me! Thank you Sheryl! XOXOX

Jennifer definitely brightened up the party with her presence! Thank you Jen! XOX

I’m anxious to see Trina B. Real perform! And what a great smile!

One that was missing was the super-talented, internationally known ballerina Shoko Tamai who was preparing for her show later that same evening, which I went to see!

Shoko Tamai performing at her show Red Christmas which kept her from attending the Comic Strip party! I didn’t even know I knew anyone who could do that!!! Personally, I still don’t think it’s possible! (LOLOLOL)!!!

And then there’s the video:

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Richard Lewis, (aka "Lon Chaney’s Undertaker"), and Jeffrey Gurian on Nick and Artie

The logo and opening shot of “Nick and Artie”, seen nightly Mon-Fri, 10 P.M. to 1 A.M.on Sirius Radio and DirecTV!

I was really psyched to do the “Nick and Artie” Show and talk about my new book “Make ‘Em Laugh” with Chris Rock, after Artie invited me to come on one night when he was judging The Lottery Show at The Comic Strip. The book is about the 35 year history of The Strip and is written with Richie Tienken the owner and founder of the club.

The promo for Jeffrey Gurian on the “Nick and Artie Show”!

Then I ran into Artie a few days later when he performed at a memorial show for Patrice O’Neal at Gotham Comedy Club, and he invited me again.

Patrice and I were very close and he honored me my making me his co-host along with Dante Nero, when he hosted The Black Phillip Show on Sirius Radio. We always had fun, and I always made sure to bring lots of hot models with me, cause nothing is more fun than mixing comedy with beautiful girls!

This is a phone call from Patrice that I will always treasure, inviting me to do our own show together! Unfortunately that never came to fruition, and will always be one of the great disappointments of my life!

Patrice Phone Call_Feb_2008 2

patrice phPatrice Phone Call_Feb_2008 2one call_1-2

(L-R) Dante Nero, Drew Boogie, Jeffrey Gurian, Carlotta Butler, Patrice Oneal, and in back Kathy and Dawn Leak, AKA “The Leak Sisters!”

So I make my arrangements to come on the show with Liz Canavan of “Twinsanity”, and I went down there with my buddy from L.A. Nathan Oventhal who starred in my film “Men Who Take A Fish To Work”, the newest addition of The “Men Who Series!”

Nathan Oventhal holding a fish with nightlife impresario Wass Stevens on the set of ” Men Who Take A Fish To Work”!

Liz greeted us and brought us to the green room, where I see that Richard Lewis is a guest on the show. Richard is not only a dear friend, but he also wrote a blurb that’s on the back cover if “Make ‘Em Laugh” and I hadn’t had the chance yet to give him a copy.

Luckily I had an extra one with me, so I told Liz to tell Richard I was here. Next thing I know I hear someone calling my name, and it was him. I hadn’t seen him since the year before when we did a private Comedy Matters TV interview at The Friars Club, and it was so great to see him again!

Richard Lewis being interviewed by Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV at The Friars Club in NYC!

He said he was really excited about the book, and congratulated me on bringing it to life after four years of work. And the timing was so cool that I had one to sign and to give him. He wrote a hilarious blurb that said:

The hilarious blurb sent to me my my great pal Richard Lewis!

Richard has always been a favorite of mine in many ways. To my detriment I relate so much to his personna!(LOL) Back around 1997 when he was starring in the movie “Drunks”, I got the bright idea that I should be writing for him, although I knew he always writes his own stuff. But it was my dream, like when I got a chance to show my earliest material to Woody Allen, expecting him to leave what he was doing and run off and write films with me! (LOL)

That didn’t happen by the way! This is as close as I got to that!

The night I made Woody Allen laugh by saying, ” Hi Woody, I’m a very close friend of yours!” You can see how absolutely hysterical he is in this photo!

I did however make some films he encouraged me to make called “The ‘Men Who’ Series” about men who do very unusual things, like “Men Who Take A Pitchfork To The Movies”, “Men Who Enjoy Latin Dancing With Tools”, and one special one in particular called “Men Who Swim To Work” starring Mike Bochetti, currently the side-kick on Nick and Artie, which airs on both Sirius radio and DirecTV!

Mike Bochetti as he appears today in 2012, with Jeffrey Guiran on the set of “Nick and Artie” where he is a regular!

And if you watch ” Men Who Dance Where They’re Not Supposed To” you’ll see award winning actor Peter Dinklage, star of HBO’s “Game of Thrones” getting arrested for dancing in a “No Dancing” zone!

So I wrote up some material for Richard which I called his “Born To Be Nervous” Tour, and brought it with me to the theatre. For whatever reason I arrived late, and tried to bypass a long line of people waiting to get in, by running down a staircase which turned out to be leading to the Men’s Room! And who comes out walking towards me but Richard himself and he says, “What are you doing here?” To which I responded my handing him a manila envelope filled with neatly typed jokes.

These were some of them: My family are firm believers in the power of negative thinking. They feel you can ruin almost anything, if you really put your mind to it.

Low self esteem goes back in my family to the beginning of time. I actually had an uncle who was supposedly the first man to walk erect. But he couldn’t hold it. He’d take a few steps, and just slump over.

ALTERNATIVE – …. I actually had an uncle who was supposedly the first man to walk erect, but nobody noticed.

My shrink was also treating me for feelings of loneliness. At one point, I was so lonely, I tried to develop a split personality, just for the company.
I once knew a guy from group therapy who had a split personality. He dated a girl who also had a split personality. They used to double date.
He fell in love with her other personality, and she fell in love with his other personality. They got married, accused each other of cheating with themselves, and the marriage fell apart.

Anyway less than an hour after I got home, I got this message from Richard on my answering machine. Another message that I treasure:

Richard Lewis Phone Call

So as I reminisced with Richard about the video we shot at The Friars, Richard commented that it was a great interview but that he thought he looked like Lon Chaney’s undertaker, which we all thought was hysterical! I think he looked great! See what you think! (This is part 1. Part 2 is on the Comedy Matters You Tube Channel at http://www.youtube.com/guriannewsnetwork)

Richard is in town headlining Carolines on Broadway this weekend through Sunday night. If you can still get a seat, go down and see him. It’s always a treat to see Richard perform.

So going on the show with Nick and Artie was exciting and they made me feel right at home. Appearing with two powerhouse comics like that can be intimidating, but they were very generous, and made it easy for me to tell my stories about the history of The Comic Strip and all the huge stars that came out of there, … although I really wanted to have time to do my one of my special GNN news reports which I often do on radio.

GNN (Gurian News Network) are unusual stories missed by mainstream media, like “Man Robs Bank With His Chin”, “College Professor Fired For Casually Removing His Spine in Class”, and “Hunter Lost in Wilderness Saved By His Moustache!”. These are the kind of stories I wrote for the legendary Weekly World News in my own column called “Gurian’s World of the Bizarre!”

There was the story ” Rare Virus Sweeps Japan, Victims Too Weak To Bow” about two men hurt in a bowing accident, and “Man Impaled On Spike, Still Shows Up For Work On Time!”, which is kind of self-explanatory! Hence GNN is known as your source for ” All The News That’s Fit To Dance To!”

Four of the stories, including “Man With Infant’s Head Sues For Discrimination”, and “George Washington Wore Wooden Pants” got made into animated films and wound up in the Cannes Film Festival in 2009.

But with Nick and Artie, I got to tell some cool stories from Seinfeld, Paul Reiser, Gilbert Gottfried, Chris Rock and also got to discuss my days writing for Rodney and some other fun people.

We also talked about the synchronicity of events in life and Artie told me that two days after getting out of rehab, during a quite stressful and confusing time of his life, Nick called and asked him to be his co-host on the show. Talk about synchronicity. I hope Artie knows how much he is loved,by his fans and the public in general.

I’ll never forget the reaction to Artie when he came out onstage one night at Town Hall, I think it was, to a standing ovation before he even said a word. I had never remembered seeing a reaction like that to any comic before. And he gave Mike Bochetti the great opportunity to open for him. That’s the kind of great guy that Artie is. I remember very clearly going backstage to congratulate him. I don’t recall 100% where it was, but it was a huge venue and it was sold out!

So I’m so happy for him that he gets to do this great show five nights a week with his good friend Nick!

Nick DiPaolo on camera on his fantastic “Nick and Artie” show!

Their set is also incredible. It’s like the ultimate man-cave, complete with Foosball, ping-pong, big screen TV’s all over, a photo booth, a full size kitchen and as they pointed out to me, pull out beds. Ohhh, and I forgot to mention two beautiful blonde twins Liz and Marie Canavan known as “Twinsanity”!

Artie Lange onscreen during the broadcast of the Nick and Artie Show, on Sirius and DirecTV, Mon-Fri. from 10 P.M. till 1 A.M.

Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV in a “Twinsanity” sandwich with Liz on the left, and Marie on the right! (If you’re facing the screen!)

Part of the great “Nick and Artie” set where guests come to chat!

The photo booth on the set of “Nick and Artie” where I came out looking like Lon Chaney’s undertaker!” Only models who are already gorgeous come out good in those photos! (LOL)

It’s a total party, I had a great time, and I really hope they ask me back!

Nick DiPaolo, Jeffrey Gurian from Comedy Matters TV and Artie Lange on the set of “Nick and Artie” , on Mon-Friday from 10 P.M. until 1 A.M.! Make sure to tune in!

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Al Lubel, The James Bond of Comedy, at Broadway Comedy

Al Lubel likes his name. He says it a lot. He says it so much in fact that it becomes hysterical. If you don’t believe me ask anyone in the audience at any of his shows. I see a lot of comedy but it’s really rare to hear such sustained laughter throughout one set.

The hysterically funny Al Lubel on stage at Broadway Comedy Club!

Even the funniest comics have ups and downs, but Al Lubel really brings it! And Al was just part of a fantastic show I saw at Broadway Comedy.

Chris Murphy who has hair that any rock star in a hair band would envy was the MC. Chris said he gets yelled at a lot in the street because of his hair. People make remarks. Once someone yelled out ” Faggot”, and he was really ticked off, until he realized that of all the men in the crowd he was the only one who turned around!

Comic/MC Chris Murphy onstage at Broadway Comedy Club!

He’s also a redhead and said he hates it. He said if he married another redhead his kid would come out clear!

And he talked about the Irish being alcoholics. He said his father got a DUI, … during his driving test! (Hysterical!) And it was on the written part! (That’s what’s known as “the topper!”)

Not only is Chris funny, but he’s also a gentleman. He gave me a shout-out from the stage about my new book with Chris Rock called ” Make ‘Em Laugh”! Very cool!

Daniel Tirado talked about HIS father too. His father drank too but refused to go to Alcoholics Anonymous. He said that everyone knows he drinks, so he can’t be anonymous!

He also claimed to be a great cuddler, but said it’s not the kind of thing you can brag to your boys about! “Man, I cuddled the shit out of that girl!”

Daniel Tirado killing it onstage at Broadway Comedy Club!

He also talked about picking up chicks in third world countries, and how the lines would differ from what you might use at home, ” Girl, I heard the Red Cross is in town this weekend. Maybe we could get together and get vaccinated!” Very funny stuff!

Ross Bennett is always a crowd pleaser, from the time he opens till he closes by asking the audience if they mind if he does a line from an old act, and with their permission says, ” How about that Watergate thing?” He always leaves the stage to huge applause.

Ross Bennett looking like he’s trying to hail a cab from the stage at Broadway Comedy Club!

Chips Cooney comes out as a master magician and purposely messes up the tricks but it’s hysterical!

Chips Cooney performing comedy magic at Broadway Comedy Club!

But Al Lubel is a story unto himself. Really strange thoughts, really clever, really funny. He’s obsessed with saying AlLubel, as if it’s one name like Cher, or Rihanna. The way James Bond introduces himself in his inimitable way by saying, “Bond. James Bond!” Al would say, “AlLubel! AlLubel”! It may not play well on paper, but onstage it’s a killer.

He was walking down the street thinking, ” Nothing ever dawns on me!” I love that. It reminds me of the fact that I enjoy “mentioning” things to people. I do it as a hobby.

Al Lubel wondering why things never dawn on him, at Broadway Comedy Club!

More Al Lubellism’s – He said he tried to raise his self-esteem but then he realized he wasn’t worth it.

After saying his name many times in a row, he said to the audience, ” The more I say my name, the more you look at me and say, ” Who is this guy?” I’m Al Lubel.

His room is so small, it’s only 5×10. He personally is 2×6. When he gets out of bed, he’s still in bed! ( I love that! LOLOLOL)

All he does all day is sleep and rest. On his tombstone they’ll write, ” May he continue to rest in Peace!”

He even thought about suicide, and wondered how people would react if he jumped off a building, and just before he landed he shot himself in the head. People on the ground would think, ” He couldn’t wait another second?”

I could listen to AlLubel all night. And the best part is that he works clean! A real rarity, even in my own act!

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Stand-Up For Heroes at The Beacon Theatre

The NY Comedy Festival had so many star-studded shows, but the one that stuck out for me as being the most meaningful, besides being just entertaining was the Stand-Up For Heroes event, at The Beacon Theater on 75th and Broadway, produced in conjunction with the Bob Woodruff Foundation, honoring our brave servicemen and women who have been injured while serving our country overseas.

NY Comedy Festival poster highlighting all the big stars attending!

The line-up of talent was impressive including on the musical end John Mayer, Bruce Springsteen, and Roger Waters, and on the comedic end Ricky Gervais, Robin Williams, Jon Stewart, and Mike Birbiglia. Also on the style end were the two gorgeous style experts Ann Caruso and Mary Alice Stephenson, who you know from TV!

Stand-Up For Heroes Poster for event at The Beacon Theater on November 8, 2012!

Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV having a grand old time with two gorgeous style experts, Mary Alice Stephenson on the left, and Ann Caruso right in the middle! (LOL)

Covering a red carpet is difficult at times, because the huge TV networks tend to monopolize the stars as they make their way down the red carpet, so that by the time they get down to the independent press people like us, very often they’re out of time to speak, because the event is starting. And it’s difficult for the press people running the event to hurry everyone along.

Luckily I know a lot of the red carpet honorees so they stop off to say “Hi” even briefly. Besides getting to speak to Robin Williams and Ricky Gervais, who asked if I did my hair like that for him, (LOL), I got a very cool interview with Ann Caruso and Mary Alice Stephenson who styled the wives and female soldiers for this great event, and managed to get clothing donated from The Limited and even from Dior.

Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV interviewing Ricky Gervais on the red carpet of Stand-Up For Heroes!

Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV interviewing Style Experts Mary Alice Stephenson and Ann Caruso on the red carpet of “Stand-Up For Heroes!”

One of the biggest honors I had was getting to speak to some of the “wounded warriors” themselves. In the video accompanying this post you’ll see interviews with Lance Cpl. Michael Martinez, USMC who lost both of his legs in Afghanistan, but walks so well with his prosthetics that you wouldn’t even know. He walks with a limp, but walked the red carpet proudly with his girlfriend Megan Waters.

Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV interviewing hero /Wounded Warrior Lance Cpl. Michael Martinez of the US Marine Corps at Stand-Up For Heroes!

I also got to speak to Capt. Pat Horan, U.S. Army who was there with his wife Patty Horan. Capt. Pat had a bullet explode under his helmet, which within an hour destroyed his ability to walk, the coordination of his body, mouth, and his vestibular system which controls your balance. He lost all sensation on the right side of his body, and the ability to speak, read, and write, but as you’ll see in the video through lots of hard work in rehab has made an incredibly miraculous recovery.

Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV interviews Capt. Pat Horan, US Army on the red carpet of “Stand-Up For Heroes” at The Beacon Theater!

It was truly an honor to meet these brave men and women who sacrificed so much for our country, and who were escorted down the red carpet by various stars in attendance. You can see the video right here:

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My Special Night With Paul Williams

I didn’t even remember what a fan I was of Paul Williams until I saw the Stephen Kessler directed documentary film about Paul called “Paul Williams Still Alive”, thanks to the people at Brigade Marketing.

Poster for Paul Williams Still Alive!

For anyone under 40, Paul is an Academy Award-winning American composer, musician, songwriter, and actor. He is perhaps best known for popular songs performed by a number of acts in the 1970s including Three Dog Night’s “An Old Fashioned Love Song”, Helen Reddy’s “You and Me Against the World”, David Bowie’s “Fill Your Heart”, and the Carpenters’ “We’ve Only Just Begun”.

I know Chuck Negron the lead singer from Three Dog Night from back in the day, and still see him occasionally. I actually got to harmonize with Chuck on the corner of 170th Street and the Grand Concourse, where we used to sing acapella doo-wop music down in the subway station to get an echo chamber going.

Back in the 70’s and 80’s Paul was such a huge TV star appearing on every major talk and variety show. He even wrote the Muppet Song “Rainbow Connection”!

But sometime in the 80’s he kind of dropped out of sight. It seems he fell victim to drugs and alcohol, which seems to affect many sensitive and creative people.

Creative people tend to be highly sensitive to everything around them, and they internalize what they experience, which is often overwhelming. It can be confusing and can cause fear, and a general uncomfortability, and when people feel things like that, they naturally look for something to take that feeling away.

Alcohol, and other substances can feel like they do the trick for varying amounts of time, until they start working against you. Once that happens, your life begins to spiral downwards, like the water going down the toilet, and that for many people is their “bottom”.

And if you’re lucky, your bottom is horrible enough that it makes an impression on you. If you’re not so lucky, you continue living in your bottom, until something really terrible happens. Your bottom can get lower and lower until one day, you just turn up dead. That’s probably the worst bottom you can have, although some people say that living in your bottom, and continually relapsing is worse.

Thank goodness Paul Williams found sobriety, and that’s a lot of what this documentary film is about. Stephen Kessler did a very sensitive portrayal of Paul who obviously trusted him enough to let him follow him around for quite a while to make this insightful film.

Director Stephen Kessler at “Paul Williams Still Alive” screening!

He first encountered Paul at an event in Vancouver, I believe, and approached him with the idea of doing this film, and then kept after him until he gave in. Perseverance often pays off!

Paul watched it with us, and as he viewed himself on various talk shows during his “active” period, he said he was struck by the ego and arrogance that he displayed. After 22 years of sobriety, that is not who he is now.

Stephen Kessler, Paul Williams, and moderator at the screening of “Paul Williams Still Alive!”

He’s now a man who exudes a sense of comfort with who he is. He owns a serenity that only comes with double digit sobriety.

He greeted me warmly when he saw me, and made a point of thanking me for coming. I was able to give him a copy of my new book with Chris Rock, and tell him what a fan I’ve been all these years. It was a special moment.

Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with Paul Williams at the screening of “Paul Williams Still Alive!”

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Rich Vos and Bonnie McFarlane Make A Movie

Rich Vos and Bonnie McFarlane undertook a huge project and came out with a fantastic result. They decided to make a film examining the statement made from time to time by journalists like Christopher Hitchens, and well known comics like Jerry Lewis and Adam Carolla that women aren’t funny.

Producer Rich Vos and director Bonnie McFarlane at Carolines for the debut of their film ” Women Aren’t Funny!”

This of course is a big generality, almost like saying “Men aren’t fashionable!” A lot of men are slobs, but some men are fashionable, and it stands to reason that women can be funny. I know that Bonnie Macfarlane is funny. I love watching her work. She’s sharp and can hold her own with men who try and overpower her comedically. I’ve seen her do it several times!

I guess that comes from being married to Rich Vos. And he should be thanking G-d for that every day, (and I think he does!) (LOLOL)

Rich said he called in every favor he ever had, and got a very impressive list of people in the comedy business to offer their thoughts on whether women can be funny or not! Colin Quinn, who was the MC at the premiere of the film at Carolines on Broadway, joked that if that was every favor he ever had he should be ashamed of himself!

Rich Vos, whose attention span is so short-lived he can’t even look at the camera, and Colin Quinn at Carolines for “Women Aren’t Funny!”

To Rich’s credit, he even put up his own money to do this project. That’s when you know someone really believes in their work.

Asking women who make their living being funny if women can be funny is a little touchy, and one male comic was honest enough to say that a lot of guys aren’t funny either. To verify that all you have to do is go to as many shows as I go to and that will be obvious.

So they made this documentary film called “Women Aren’t Funny” and debuted it as part of Caroline Hirsch’s NY Comedy Festival to a packed house.

As Colin took the stage to make his opening remarks, he wondered aloud to the audience several times, what he was doing there!

Colin Quinn said after thinking it over he’d rather remove his eye than MC this event for Rich! Interesting option!

He also appeared in the film as did so many people like Rosie O’Donnell, Sarah Silverman, Adam Carolla, Patrice Oneal, Judy Gold, Jim Norton, Joan Rivers, Artie Lange, Maria Bamford,Michael Ian Black, Tom Arnold, Chelsea Peretti, and literally a Who’s Who in comedy, which is an admirable feat!

Joan Rivers still looking sexy and proving that women can be funny!

Tom Arnold, once married to Roseanne, weighing in on whether women can be funny!

Sarah Silverman onscreen discussing her point of view on women and humor!

Michael Ian Black onscreen at Carolines, on whether women can be funny!

Lisa Lampanelli onscreen, … another woman proving that women can be funny!

I had to do that twice in the last few years and I can attest to how hard it is to get so many stars lined up to be in your project. In my book “Filthy, Funny, and Totally Offensive”, based on my writings for the Friars Roasts, which was supposed to be a collection of celebs favorite nasty jokes, I got 250 celebs like Drew Carey, Jason Alexander, and Jeff Garlin, to share pure filth with me, and my pal Paul Provenza wrote the intro. After directing The Aristocrats, I think he knows a thing or two about filth!

In my latest book “Make ‘Em Laugh” with an intro by Chris Rock, it took three years to get all of the in-depth interviews with people like Chris, Seinfeld, Ray Romano, Susie Essman, Colin Quinn, Lewis Black, Judah Friedlander, Billy Crystal, Larry Miller and so many more.

So I totally appreciate how hard it must have been to get all the people that were in this film and get them to offer their personal insight into this question.

They shot all over, and Bonnie and Rich even had footage of both of them on Opie and Anthony where Rich is a mainstay, and where in a touching scene he tried to convince Bonnie that he loved her!

(L-R) Anthony and Opie from “Opie and Anthony” on SiriusXM having some laughs with Rich Vos and Bonnie McFarlane!

Showing emotion is not that easy for Rich, but he tries his best with Bonnie and their adorable daughter Reina who he called out on stage, as Colin said, whenever he felt he needed more of the audience’s support! Reina was his life-saver!

Bonnie McFarlane and daughter Reina after the premiere of ” Women Aren’t Funny” at Carolines!

Bonnie opens her heart in this film, almost as if she’s wondering if she herself is funny. In one scene she even dresses as a guy, with a full beard and goes onstage at The Comic Strip to audition. It must have been one of the rare nights I wasn’t there, because I would have loved to see that in person.

Bonnie McFarlane onstage at The Comic Strip in full beard as if she was a hipster comic from Brooklyn!

Afterwards in an emotional moment, she kind of dissolves in tears, and Rich is there to console her, looking to the rest of the word as if he’s kissing a guy with a full beard. It was funny and moving at the same time.

Rich Vos in an attempt to be supportive, about to kiss what appears to be a guy in a beard!

From a psychological point of view, I have my own opinion about women and comedy. Obviously women can be funny, but as a society we don’t like to laugh at women because we’re taught to respect women. So when they try and denigrate themselves, which men do very easily, or do self-deprecating humor, the audience may not be as willing to go along for the ride.

Men are programmed to make fools of themselves. We do it effortlessly. But from the time women are little girls they’re groomed to be proper, and we’re taught that it’s not polite to make fun of girls or to laugh at them. I think that carries over to when women are on the stage.

It’s possible that the audience doesn’t like to see women talk about themselves in an unflattering way. It may make some people uncomfortable. We’re taught to respect women, and to try and not judge people by their appearance.

The audience may also find it hard to believe that attractive female comedians may have a hard time finding a date, which is a common comedic premise. It’s one of the reasons that women used to play down their looks when they went up to perform, although today there are several attractive women who go onstage looking very “hot”! I will not name them. They know who they are! (LOL)

I will however say that Lynn Koplitz joined Bonnie and Rich for the Q&A that followed the film, and both she and Bonnie are good examples of the above!

Rich Vos, Bonnie McFarlane and Lynn Koplitz handling the Q&A at Carolines!

But in women’s determination to be equal, which I don’t understand because they’re already superior,(LOL), they seem to be in competition with men sometimes on who can be more “gross”, as evidenced in recent films like
“Bridesmaids”.

Men are naturally gross. They don’t even have to try. Why women would want equality in that area of life is beyond me! (LOL)

Anyway, all that being said, this is a film that needs to be seen, so if you get the opportunity make sure to go and see it. Hopefully it will get distribution and get a theatrical release, but Rich and Bonnie should be very proud of what they accomplished, … and I don’t only mean Reina! (LOLOL)

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