A Humorous and Energetic Look At The Republican Debates -My Spot On Fox News Channel

Thanks to Goldman/McCormick, the top PR agency, I was asked to participate in a panel on Fox News Channel hosted by Megyn Kelly to review what I think was the 3rd or 4th Republican debate. This one was held in Orlando, Florida on 9/22/11.

Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV on set at Fox News Channel with host Megyn Kelly!

On the set of Fox News Channel''s America Live with Megyn Kelly!

I’ve never been one to be particularly political, because I have become very cynical. All politicians seem to be liars. It’s a big phony thing, just like Wall Street. Every day one fear or another causes the market to go up or down, ( mostly down!), and the only ones who make money are the traders! The average schmuck like you or I makes a few dollars one day and gives back twice as much the next!

Back in the 1700’s, or 1800’s MAYBE the politicians were honorable, but today all you have to do is read the paper to see all the crime and fraudulent, “behind the scenes” activities they’re involved in.

There’s too many favors to repay if you get elected for anything. When the country was small you didn’t have to know that many people. Today there’s too many groups to appease.

I remember running for President of the Freshman Class in college, and every single person wanted to know what I would do for them if I got elected! I actually won that election, and that’s a whole other story for a different day!

People are tired of double-speak. Politicians learn to answer questions without answering them. They twist the words like high powered lawyers and come out with some BS answers that only their press people would be proud of. They’re afraid to commit to anything because they’re afraid it will cost them votes. That’s why I could never vote for anyone who had been an Ambassador. They’re too used to putting a spin on things and sugar coating what they say so as not to offend anyone, … especially our enemies!

Jeffrey Gurian from Comedy Matters TV as part of the panel on Fox News with Megyn Kelly to discuss the Republican debates!

From a personal point of view, I think you have to be very sick to want to be the President of a country! To want that much power. It’s hard enough to take care of your own family. Who wants the responsibility of taking care of an entire country? Especially when it’s the greatest country in the world, the United States of America! Good old USA! But I guess it would be even worse if no one wanted to do it! I guess I subscribe to the theory some genius came up with that says,
“Politics is show business for ugly people!”

Up until this year that might have held true, but in this coming election there are some stylish nice looking people! So when I was offered the opportunity to evaluate the Republican debates, I jumped at it. I even cancelled my plans to attend a party, and stayed home to watch it so i could feel well prepared, not like one panelist who only watched the part that pertained to jobs, and refused to discuss anything else, because he felt that was all he was qualified to give an opinion on!

Having worked within the Alternative Medicine field for many years using “Energy” as a form of Healing, I decided that I would come prepared to discuss the “energy” and personality aspects of each of the potential candidates, since that is rarely discussed. I didn’t get to go into much depth on air, although as you’ll see in an upcoming video I did get to make some points I thought were important!

Then I realized I could address everything I wanted to in my Blog, Comedy Matters. There were 9 potential candidates, so here goes, one by one, and let me remind you, these are only my opinions!

1. Rick Perry – the most Presidential looking of the candidates. He’s distinguished looking,handsome, and has great hair. Most men, … especially politicians, … wear their hair like they’re embarrassed for having any. It’s almost like an apology,… ” Sorry I have hair. I’ll try and wear it flat or in a way you won’t notice!” He has great presence, powerful energy, and a strong first name. Rick is a good name for a President. He waved with his right hand which is a sign of strength and foreward thinking! He lost points on trying to defend reduced college tuition for the children of illegal aliens, and made the mistake of calling people who didn’t understand that “heartless.” Those who DID understand might be accused of being brainless! I was disappointed because I was excited about his prospects, but we need someone strong on immigration, so now I don’t know!

Texas Governor Rick Perry who I thought looked the most Presidential!

2. Mitt Romney – I was prepared not to like this guy. First of all, what kind of President has a name like Mitt??? A mitt is for catching a baseball, not for running a country! He waved with his left hand which is acceptable if he’s a lefty. If he’s right-handed it’s a sign of weakness! When he’s standing at rest he puts out weak energy, but to his credit when he speaks about something he’s passionate about he recovers and is very strong. I came away with a new respect for him as a person, and he was very strong on Israel which I respected!

3. Michelle Bachman – She wore red which is the color of the first Chakra and a color that most women fear! It takes a very secure woman to wear red and she wore it well as did Megyn Kelly who also owns her power as a woman! She spoke well about the need for a true Conservative in office, but she waved with her left hand, so I’d also be curious to know if she’s left handed or right handed!

A powerful, and attractive Michelle Bachmann wearing red and owning her power at the Republican debates!

4. Rick Santorum – Also has a strong name,… “Rick”. But a little too “tight” looking to be President. He doesn’t really carry Presidential energy. He did very well on confronting Rick Perry on immigration and on staying strong in Iraq. He also was great on saying he’d change the rules of engagement which are almost at the point where we ask the enemy if we can shoot at them. First we give them a warning so they can duck down, and then we say, ” Is it okay if we shoot now???” No one has ever won a war like that. We owe it to our fighting men and women to win as fast and as quickly as possible so we can bring them home to their families. We owe the enemy NOTHING! He actually said we should go to war to win, and not for politics!

Rick Santorum chastising Rick Perry for his action or non-action on allowing children of illegal immigrants to go to college as resident students!

5. Newt Gingrich – If I thought Mitt was a bad name for a President, Newt is ten times worse! Newt is a cartoon lizard! Newt Gingrich! Where do these names come from? He’s like a caricature of old boy politics. Just what you’d expect to see. Weak chin,( at least 2 or 3 of them!), high voice, mouth turns down, thin lips, and his hair is like a hat or helmet. His hair should come with a chinstrap!

Newt Gingrich, the consummate politician! Just what you'd expect!

To his credit he was the first to have the nerve not to play the “game” of choosing one of the other potential candidates as a running mate. He took back the power on that one, and that is a difficult thing to do, to suddenly stop and say, ” I’m not doing that.” So kudos to Newt for using his experience to know he didn’t have to follow along!

6. John Huntsman- the former Governor from Utah- I don’t think a guy from Utah is worldly enough to be President of the United States. Huntsman proved that by showing up with a weird vibe. He’s stylish and nice looking, but he has the presence, demeanor, and facial movements of a stand-up comedian. Plus he was appointed by Obama as the Ambassador to China! Ambassadors are like P.R. people to the tenth degree! They learn to put a spin on the truth. It comes too easily to them. We’ve had enough of that. Plus he blinks too much and comes off like a retired actor. That’s why he kept mentioning his family. He started out by saying, ” It’s an honor to be here, and then mentioned that his wife came from that state. Later on, he mentioned his daughter and that she has Juvenile Diabetes. It came across false, like he was using his family to get attention or sympathy, which is exactly what I would expect from an Ambassador!

Btw, since i mentioned Obama,let me say this about him, … the only thing I like about Obama is that he’s Black! It’s great that we were able to elect a Black president, but we need a president who can do something, besides being Black!

7.Herman Cain – He looks like a great guy, and if there was a national office for “Great Guy” he’d be perfect, but unfortunately there’s not! He’s not Presidential at all, even though he speaks strongly about certain things. And I think his PR people have to step away from his connection to “Godfather’s Pizza”. I don’t know if I’d want to associate my President with a fast food. Maybe they should just bill him as a “successful entrepreneur”! That might carry more respect. Former CEO of Godfather’s Pizza doesn’t do it for me, or for lots of other people. What if he had run a national chain of something called ” Vinnie’s Pizza”, of ” Carmine’s Pizza”, or something else like that. Would they have used that as well?

8.Ron Paul – If they ever do the Burgess Meredith story, Ron Paul would be great to play him! In case you don’t recall, Burgess Meredith played Mickey in the Rocky movies. He was Rocky’s trainer. He also played The Penguin in Batman. Ron was the worst of the nine as far as I’m concerned. Energy wise he was very weak. He came across as old, out of touch, his mouth turns down, his lips are non-existent, his teeth are badly worn which usually means he suffers from stress, and he looked like he was wearing a sweater instead of a suit jacket due to the cut of the jacket. What made him even more grotesque was that he didn’t think that Iran posed a threat! I wonder what he would have thought about Hitler after reading Mein Kampf!

9. Gary Johnson – Governor of New Mexico – John Huntsman looked like the comedian but Gary Johnson told the best joke, which I understand he lifted from Rush Limbaugh who said it earlier in the day! He said his neighbor’s two dogs have created more shovel-ready jobs than President Obama! He had weird energy, waved with his right hand, which may have been his only plus, and he is a Libertarian, whatever that means!

One other point! They asked Rick Perry what he would do if he got a call at 3 A.M. that Pakistani nuclear weapons had fallen into the wrong hands! He never answered that question, and I don’t blame him. First of all if anyone were to be asked that question, it should have been asked of EVERYONE, because it’s such a dangerous question. How could anyone answer that properly? It’s like asking what you would do if you were awakened to find out that Pakistani terrorists had launched a nuclear warhead at us. Is he supposed to say he’d wipe them off the face of the earth? What good answer could he have given? Instead he made some comment about keeping close to India, and our other friends in the region. He side-stepped it but only out of necessity!

That’s my brief, (or not so brief!) foray into politics! I’ll be posting the video very soon> I was able to make what I thought were some good points!

Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV making what he thought was a good point!