The Roast is being produced by Jeffrey Ross, aka The Roastmaster General, a nick-name bestowed upon him from his years of successful roasting at the NY Friars Club roasts and for the Comedy Central Roasts.
Comedy Central Executive JoAnn Grigioni, Jeffrey Gurian, and Jeffrey Ross at the Donald Trump Roast after-party!
He’s someone I’m happy to say has been a friend for many years. When I wrote my own Roast book with journalist Tripp Whetsell back in 2007, Jeffrey was one of the people who came to the book party at The Friars Club and went up on stage to offer a few remarks.
Jeffrey Ross with Jeffrey Gurian at the Friars Club book party for Gurian's book, " Filthy, Funny, and Totally Offensive."
He told my co-author Tripp that it was obvious that he was into S&M, … spaghetti and meatballs! And he asked me how I got my hair to look like a squirrel. Check out that video right here!
I had a special moment with Jeffrey a few years ago up in Montreal at the Just For Laughs Festival, which is the biggest comedy festival in the world. Jeffrey and I were alone having a bite to eat in the VIP cafe when he was approached by the head of the film festival and told that his film “Patriot Act”, in which he went overseas to entertain our troops with a bunch of other comics, won for Best Film at the festival. It was a very exciting moment to share with him, and he was really, genuinely surprised and touched, and very, very grateful.
The Charlie Sheen Roast will tape this coming Saturday in LA and will air on Monday Sept. 19th. Charlie and I partied hard back in the day, when actor/HBO star Chuck Zito was then working as his bodyguard. This was way before he starred in the HBO series “Oz”, and way before I wrote a play dedicated to him called ” A Punch In The Face” after he knocked out Jean-Claude Van Damme with one punch at Scores in NYC.
Chuck brought friends and family to the play and it wound up on Page 6 of the Ny Post, the most exclusive, and powerful gossip page in the country!
The Page 6 piece on Chuck Zito attending Jeffrey Gurian's play "A Punch In The Face" which was dedicated to Chuck! after he knocked out Jean-Claude Van Damme at Scores!
Jeffrey Ross Producing Charlie Sheen Roast
Chuck Zito posing with the cast of "A Punch In The Face" written and directed by Jeffrey Gurian!
The photo below was when they both came to my office to visit me!
Charlie Sheen, Jeffrey Gurian, and Chuck Zito hanging out at Jeffrey's office back in the day!
In today’s NY Post, Sean Daly did a story about the return of Andrew ” Dice” Clay, and his exciting comeback from being on HBO’s Entourage, where he’s playing an exaggerated version of himself. I think I can honestly say that Entourage is the ONLY show I watch consistently on TV, and everyone in the cast is incredible.
“Dice” is the first to admit that he’s been having career problems. He was one of the few comedians who were ever able to fill stadiums in his heyday, which was in the late 80’s, and until the Entourage thing kicked in, he was playing small comedy clubs to make a living.
I have some great memories of Dice. I don’t think he knows it but thanks to him, I wound up writing the movie ” Face to Face” with actor/producer Scott Baio. Back in 1998, I was out in LA for a month, staying at the Oakwood Apartment complex near Burbank, and meeting people left and right! ( What kind of a weird expression is that? )
Jeffrey Gurian and Scott Baio outside of Planet Hollywood in LA at the wrap party for Very Mean Men, after finishing their own script called "Face to Face"!
One night I was at The Comedy Store and wound up meeting “Dice” after one of his sets, and we stayed up talking in front of the club till about 4 A.M. I remember freezing but I didn’t want to leave because I was fascinated by “Dice”, and the stories he was telling me. He was already planning a comeback, and because of my background having written for so many Friars Roasts, he let me try my hand at writing material for him.
I gave him the material, and he liked it so much, he wound up doing it on the stage of The Comedy Store right off the paper. One bit that stands out in my mind, had something to do with his ejaculate being so nutritious that the government was building a pipeline from his “member” directly to African countries suffering from hunger, and they would spray it in a cropduster to alleviate hunger.
Anyway, Dice and I started hanging out along with a guy who was his cousin and another stand-up comedian. We would often go to Mel’s Diner on Sunset Blvd. for a snack. As a matter o f fact one day while we were there he had a terrible headache, and I opened up to him about my other career as a Healer whose specialty was taking away headaches.
The photo below shows me and Dice in the parking lot of Mel’s Diner and I’m working on taking away his headache. I have done Healing work in some very unusual places, i.e. the most crowded noisy clubs, in supermarkets, and once even in the bathroom of a gas station, although the details on that are kind of fuzzy! (LOL) Fortunately I took away his headache, and unfortunately I still had that moustache I was sporting since the 80’s, when Dice was hot! (LOL)
Jeffrey Gurian doing Healing work on Andrew "Dice" Clay in the parking lot of Mel's Diner to take away his headache!
Most of the time at Mel’s, Dice and I would take an outside table on the street. Anytime you’re sitting with someone well known, or a gorgeous model, people want to know who you are. It’s a given.
So Dice and I were sitting and eating and a guy came by, introduced himself as a producer, and asked me what I did. When I told him I was a comedy writer out of NY, he asked me for my card and asked if I could send him some of my scripts. It just so happened I had some in the trunk of my car, as I was carrying them around with me, because in LA you NEVER know who you’re going to run into and it’s always good to be prepared.
A few months after I got back to New York, out of a clear blue sky, ( like those expressions??? ) , I got a call one day from this producer, telling me he liked my script and that he thought he had a project for me. The next thing I knew he had me on a phone call to Scott Baio, who pitched me an idea he was working on, about three Italian cousins who wanted to know their Dad’s better. So they kidnapped them for a weekend of forced male bonding.
I liked it, and felt it was something I could do. While I was on the phone, the producer put me on hold, booked me on a flight to LA, and made arrangements for me to come out to write the script.
They picked me up at the airport, installed me in a hotel, and gave me keys to an office on Sunset where they brought in desks, and computers, and set me up so I could work at my own speed, and my own hours. I could come and go as I pleased. I remember the first day I met Scott. It was also at Mel’s Diner, and we had a nice meal and discussed the story line, and got along famously. He’s a super guy.
We wrote the script in about 10 days, and it was called ” Face to Face” one of the only Italian themed movies, with no mob scene! It starred Dean Stockwell, Joe Viterelli, Alex Rocco, Thomas Calabro, Madchen Amick, Ellen Travolta, Meatloaf, and of course Scott Baio. We were chosen as the opening night film at the Taos, New Mexico Talking Film Festival, ( as opposed to the Taos Silent Film Festival, I guess! ), and we won two festivals for Best Comedy Feature. One of them was in Sedona, and that was really cool also. It’s an amazing feeling to have a feature film in a festival and see people lining up to watch your film, especially when you do it with a star and there’s a Q&A afterwards. It was very exciting.
Scott had just finished a film with Matthew Modine, and the great Charles Durning, called “Very Mean Men” and I flew out to LA to attend the wrap party for that film at Planet Hollywood.
Jeffrey Gurian with Matthew Modine at an event in NYC!
Scott Baio, Jeffrey Gurian and Charles Durning at the wrap party for Very Mean Men in LA at Planet Hollywood!
Anyway, I’m so happy for “Dice” that he’s getting back into the limelight again. He still holds the distinction of being the only performer ever to be banned from MTV for life. That could be a long time.
He’s a rebel and always was.
I also remember being so impressed with how important his wife and kids were to him. He was a very dedicated father. Sean Daly says he’s shopping an autobiography, and will kick off a nationwide tour on Oct. 1, 2011, at MCU Park, which I believe is in the Coney Island section of Brooklyn!
In this week’s Page 6 in the New York Post they talked about actress Aesha Waks 34, and DJ and photographer Liam McMullen 23, planning their wedding for the Spring of 2012. They were originally supposed to be married last August, but decided to postpone it indefinitely. Liam is the son of celeb photographer Patrick McMullen whom I’ve known for many years. I clearly remember him bringing Liam with him to parties when Liam was only about 12 years old, so he’s been exposed to the New York nightlife scene for quite a while.
Actress Aesha Waks and her fiance DJ, photographer, and hopeful stand-up comic Liam McMullen partying at Pacha!
I’ve had the pleasure of being friends with Aesha for years now. As a matter of fact she was with me the one and only time I met Mick Jagger, who was on the short list, ( the very short list!) of people I had wanted to meet in this lifetime. No one can ever get old as long as Mick is around because he’s maybe 67 and still the hippest guy in the room. When he moves on stage it’s like he’s 27. I know young bands that are in awe of him still.
Aesha and I were having dinner at Lotus that night, at the time the hottest club in the Meatpacking District, and a place where my old friend nightlife guru Mark Baker was part owner. I’m pretty sure it was a party for something or other, as I recall being at a party once! (LOL) (And I swore I’d never do THAT again! LOLOLOL )
Anyway, they happened to seat us right next to Mick and Jann Wenner if I recall correctly. It also might have been Jason Binn. I know it was someone big in publishing. So I went over and told him that when my kids were little, and my hair was very long, they used to ask me why I didn’t look like the other Dads who were living in Scarsdale. My answer was, ” Well you’d understand if I was Mick Jagger.” Their answer was,
” Yeh Dad, … but you’re not! “
Another cute photo of lovebirds Aesha Waks and Liam McMullen taken by Jeffrey Gurian!
I thought he’d get a kick out of the story. Turns out I got more of a kick out of it than he did! (LOL) But at least I got to meet him. I didn’t have my camera with me in those days which is one of my regrets, but I also didn’t have it when I met Woody Allen for the first time, Salvador Dali, when we spent the evening together, or when I got to meet The Beach Boys, the only other people on that very short list!
Jeffrey Gurian and Lauren Francesca partying it up at Pacha with Aesha Waks and Liam McMullen!
The last time I was with Aesha and Liam was at a party at Pacha, Zev Norotsky’s place. I was with Lauren Francesca, the internet star, best known for playing Lady Gaga in the Key of Awesome parodies, and they were very romantic, and totally into each other. Aesha had called me not too long ago because Liam now wants to get into stand-up comedy, and I told her I would definitely help him. I offered to bring him to audition at The Comic Strip.
Lauren Francesca in a "swoon" with Jeffrey Gurian! Maybe it was his cologne!
They said the wedding will be an eclectic mix of people of all different ages and attachments to the couple. Who knows, maybe I’ll be invited! Maybe we’ll do a little Roast for the wedding???
Now Aesha Waks is in a "swoon", from Liam McMullen's kiss! Btw, what the heck is a swoon???
All I know is this time, I’ll make sure to bring my camera!
Everybody loves Paul Provenza, … especially comedians. That’s why Showtime picked up his show The Green Room for a second season. It debuted on Thursday, July 14th, at 11 P.M. while I was still out in LA, performing at Jamie Masada’s Laugh Factory with Kevin Nealon, and Budd Friedman’s Improv on Melrose Avenue in Hollywood, plus interviewing both Billy Crystal and Russell Peters. I sure hope I didn’t miss any Green Room premiere party, ’cause I hate when that happens! ( I actually went to a party once and had a good time! LOL)
Check out all the cool comedy names on Paul Provenza's Green Room poster!
Jeffrey Gurian with Paul Provenza in the lobby of The Core Club, for The Green Room.
( I often wonder if I didn’t write the “LOL” if people would know I was kidding! I was born at a party and have been going to them ever since!)
Anyway, Paul made the iconic movie The Aristocrats. He directed the well over 100 comics who performed in that movie, which Penn Jillette produced, and I actually went with Paul when it debuted at the Just For Laughs Festival in Montreal where Paul and I will be going again next week. The Just for Laughs Festival is the biggest comedy festival in the world. I heard that Andy Nulman who ran it so well for many years, and then went on to direct the huge celeb galas, is back running it again this year! Hey Andy, … see you next week!
Jeffrey Gurian being kissed by Paul Provenza while Jamie Kilstein leans on Jeffrey Gurian, and looks on longingly!
Paul is producing The Green Room with producer Barbara Romen and I remember being there with them when they first introduced it in Montreal, where almost everything big in comedy happens. Barbara honored me by saying she feels like I’m one of The Green Room family, since I’ve been there from the beginning. ( you will see this in the attached video, in case you think I’m exaggerating! LOL )
Jeffrey Gurian holding Paul Provenza's book Satiristas, while Paul is holding Jeffrey's book, "Filthy, Funny, and Totally Offensive" for which he wrote the foreward!
Paul recently wrote the book Satiristas, in which he also brought in a huge number of big comedy stars to be interviewed. There’s something special about Paul that allows him to get all these huge names to participate in his projects, because they’re not just sitting around waiting for people to ask them to be part of something, which they graciously do for Paul, very often for no compensation. They have to actually like you more than just a little to do that, and with Paul they like him a lot. That’s why when he says the same thing about ME, and gives me props for getting so many big stars to be in my column, it’s very meaningful to me. Someday I hope Paul and I can do a project together.
We first met many years ago on a radio show that Jackie Mason was hosting, when I believe Jackie was filling in for Bob Grant. We were both guests, and Paul and I got along famously. Then one night during a performance of a show he was starring in called “Only Kidding”, he accidentally chipped his front tooth on stage, and some comedian friends suggested he call me! When he asked what good it would do to call a comedy writer, to have his tooth fixed, they explained about my other career as a Cosmetic Dentist. I fixed him up right way and he was back on stage that night. We’ve been friends ever since!
Sylvia Ogonaga, Paul Provenza and Jeffrey Gurian at The Core Club for Paul's debut of The Green Room!
So when I heard that Paul was debuting Season 2 at the prestigious Core Club, ( right across the street from the famous Friars Club) in Manhattan, I actually postponed my departure for LA for one day so I could attend. I brought Ecuadorian model/actress Sylvia Ogonaga with me, … mostly because I could! (LOL) With him that night besides co-producer Barbara Romen was Robin Bronk of The Creative Coalition which was the sponsor of the event, and comics Lisa Lampanelli, Rain Pryor, ( Richard’s daughter), Billy Connolly, and Jamie Kilstein.
(L-R) Robin Bronk, Lisa Lampanelli, Paul Provenza, Rain Pryor, Billy Connolly, and Jamie Kilstein
Lisa Lampanelli came in looking so great. She’s a shadow of her former self, and I guess that’s what success and a happy marriage does for you. I see her husband Jimmy BB ( AKA Jimmy Big Balls), a lot at Gotham Comedy Club, where he makes sure nobody gets out of line. Nobody sane would mess with Jimmy. He’s basically a building with clothing! ( I heard he’s going co-op, but that might just be a rumour! )
Jeffrey Gurian interviewing the amazing Lisa Lampanelli at the debut of The Green Room at The Core Club!
Lisa is always a delight to interview as you’ll see in the video below. It’s a nice feeling when you know someone before they made it big and then watch them enjoy the fruits of their labor and still stay grounded like Lisa. She’s one of the most popular acts around, but still acts nice to people! It doesn’t always go down that way!
It was exciting for me to meet Rain Pryor, Richard’s daughter who came with her brother Richard Jr. who I hadn’t seen in a long time. I actually sponsored Richard Jr. into The Friars Club and took a photo of him standing under a portrait of his Dad, which hangs in one of the spectacular meeting rooms of The Friars Club. Rain was one of the participants in the panel that Paul was leading in a Q&A after the screening.
Surrounded by Pryors! Richard Pryor Jr., Jeffrey Gurian, and Rain Pryor at The Core Club for The Green Room!
The first episode featured such notables as Judd Apatow, who basically owns Hollywood, and is a difficult “get”, Gary Shandling who will be receiving a lifetime achievement award in Montreal this year, Greg Proops, Kathy Griffin, Marc Maron, and Dana Gould, all led in conversation by Paul. It’s totally unscripted, and very loose, and you never know what will happen when you bring minds like that together. Paul makes them all comfortable enough for them to just let it roll, and it’s funny, and entertaining, and it works!
Screen shot of Kathy Griffin and Dana Gould from an episode of The Green Room!
Other stars who’ve appeared are Janeane Garofalo, Lewis Black, Ray Romano, Rick Overton, Joe Rogan, Margaret Cho, John Corbett, Dave Attell, Franklyn Ajaye, Rick Shapiro, Doug Stanhope (and Bingo), Jim Jefferies, Kelly Carlin, Glenn Wool, Matt Kirshen, Kumail Nanjiani, Eddie Ifft, Randy Credico, Kathleen Madigan, and Tommy Chong.
Paul will be shooting at least two episodes of The Green Room in Montreal next week, and he’s threatening to let me be part of one! If I’m not careful I’m liable to be successful, so I better watch out!!!
And YOU better watch this cool, fun video of the premiere of Season 2 of The Green Room held at The Core Club in Manhattan, thanks to their Director of Business Development and Cultural Curator, Pablo DeRitis, who made sure that everyone was comfortable and had a good time !
P.S. Yesterday was Lisa Lampanelli’s birthday, so send her a birthday Tweet at @lisalampanelli, and tell her it’s from both of us! Okay, okay, … here’s the video already!
The Story Pirates is a story in itself. Founded in 2003 by talented, caring people like Kristen Schaal and Lee Overtree, and about 7 others who went to school together at Northwestern University in Illinois, it is a writing initiative for elementary school children to encourage their creativity and get them to write. From what Kristen told me it exists in different states under different names.
What they do is they take children’s stories and get well known actors to act them out within the framework of a musical-sketch-comedy show. But they stage them in such a wonderful way with great music, furry monsters, Viking costumes, flying cats, and sacks of treasure that they create an unforgettable experience for kids and adults alike.
Jeffrey Gurian interviewing Kristen Schaal and Lee Overtree on the red carpet of the Story Pirates event with Jon Stewart!
Just between you and I, I was totally prepared to be bored when I attended, thanks to an invite from my friend, performance artist Kiki Valentine who was also involved in the presentation, and who is friends with Lee Overtree, the artistic director of S.P., but instead I was captivated and totally entertained by the ideas, the huge puppets, and the fun of it all.
Jeffrey Gurian and the talented and beautiful Kiki Valentine at Story Pirates at Symphony Space!
So Tracey and Jon Stewart co-chaired the event at The Symphony Space on Broadway and 95th Street, and were joined by Lou Reed of Velvet Underground fame, The Daily Show’s John Oliver, comic/actor Kristen Schaal, comic/actor and friend Mike Birbiglia, currently starring in off-Broadway’s “My Girlfriend’s Boyfriend”, Ana Gasteyer from SNL and Wicked, and Josh Gad, one of the stars of the Tony-nominated Broadway show, “The Book of Mormon” along with the troop of Story Pirates and they all took part in acting out these children’s stories.
Lou Reed on stage reading a piece that a child wrote!
The inimitable Reggie Watts, performing one of his unique pieces, based on a child's idea, onstage at Story Pirates!
Jon Stewart on stage acting out a story for the Story Pirates!
John Oliver getting ready to throw a pie into the face of one of the Story Pirates troop!
Mission accomplished! One actor got pied multiple times!
You can see the red carpet video below, in which I kiddingly tell Jon Stewart that the reason they call it “Story Pirates” is because they steal ideas from little kids, and then I suggest that they should do that on The Daily Show! Check it out!
So as one of the new features of Comedy Matters I’m taking stories from Page 6 in the NY Post, the most powerful and influential page in the country, and adding some personal stories about the people I know who were mentioned on the page.
The top story this day was about Mick Jagger going into the studio with a new supergroup including Dave Stewart of The Eurythmics, Damian Marley, Joss Stone, and A.R. Rahman. And also about how pissed he was at Keith Richards for writing unkind things about him in his new book ” Life.”
I only met Jagger once but he has a very special place in my history. First of all, as far as I’m concerned, ( and no one actually knows how far that is! ) the man is a King. To me he’s the best of the best. No one has ever come close and his performance at The Grammy’s this year gave me the chills cause he’s 67, and rocks out better than most musicians in their 20’s. He’s thin and still has the moves that made him famous back in the 60’s.
The man is AMAZING. And thanks to Mick no one ever has to be old. Who ever heard of anyone being 67, and being so hip? Mick Jagger changed the world, and the world’s perception of getting old. Because if HE can do it, so can others. He’s an inspiration. As long as Mick is older than me, I can never get old. I look at him for inspiration.
Now when my kids were little, ( yes, … I have kids! LOL) and we lived in a fancy neighborhood in Westchester, they used to ask me why I couldn’t be like the other Dads. At the time, my hair was way, way below my shoulders, and I was driving a car that could only be described as a “pimp-mobile!” It was a Mandarin Orange Eldorado, with a white Cabriolet top, the big white wall tires, and I totally pimped it out with a Rolls Royce grille, just like the pimps did in the 70’s. The dealer where I bought it told me it had been made for one of the Eisley Brothers, and he decided not to take it, so I grabbed it.
My wife used to say to me, ” We’re Jewish and we live in Scarsdale. Why do I have to drive an orange Cadillac? All the women laugh at me! ” Obviously she didn’t get it! So when my kids said, ” How come you can’t look like the other Dads, my answer was, ” Well you’d understand if I was Mick Jagger!” And their answer was, ” Yeh Dad, but you’re not!”
In all my years of hanging out, I was sure I’d run into Mick, but it never happened until one night at a place called Lotus. I was at a private dinner party, with an actress named Aesha Waks, and right near us, seated with Jann Wenner of Rolling Stone fame was Mick Jagger. I couldn’t believe it. He was like two tables away from me. Because I was a guest at the same party I was able to walk over and introduce myself to him. I actually told him that story about my kids, thinking that he’d think it was really funny, but to be honest, he didn’t seem that amused. And he didn’t ask me for my number so we could keep in touch! (LOL) Maybe he had other things on his mind.
I also met Keith Richards once as well. This was at an event for the Songwriters Hall of Fame awards, and it was black tie and I was with a gorgeous singer I was dating at the time. We were seated at a main table and with my tux and long hair, everyone took it for granted that I was someone big in the music business. To this day when people meet me, many people still think I’m in the music business. ( Even my parents think I’m in the music business! )
Anyway, on this night, three superstars stopped off at my table specifically to say “Hello” to me even though they had never met me before. I guess I looked like the kind of guy you should know, and they didn’t want to slight me. It was Keith Richards, who was there with Patty Hansen, Paul Anka and Billy Joel. I swear to G-d, each one of them stopped by to say “Hi!” and ” Great to see you! It’s been a while.” The girl I was with was absolutely shocked, and said ” No one would believe this! “
Perception is everything in show biz! If you like look a certain way, and carry yourself a certain way, and have a gorgeous girl with you, interesting things can happen! Unfortunately in those days I wasn’t carrying a camera the way I do now. They didn’t have small cameras in those days, and certainly not digital ones.
I missed getting photos with Woody Allen, Salvador Dali, The Beach Boys, and the three musical superstars mentioned above.
Jeffrey Gurian and David Blaine at Denise Rich's Angel Ball!
David Blaine, was also in a Page 6 story the same day, about him hanging out with Ashton Kutcher, who is replacing Charlie Sheen in Two and a Half Men. They were at a restaurant in Manhattan called Indochine. The first time I met David Blaine was also in a restaurant. I don’t recall the name but I know it was on East 21st Street, and I was with the legendary music agent, and long time friend Jonny Podell.
Jeffrey Gurian with Jonny Podell at The Friars Club for the book party for Jeffrey's book, " Filthy, Funny, and Totally Offensive". The book was based on Jeffrey's writing for the famed Friars Roasts for many years and featured the favorite nastiest jokes from over 250 celebs.
Jonny Podell is known these days as the father of DJ Cassidy who spins at every hot hip-hop party on the planet, whether it’s for Russell Simmons, Jay-Z, or Oprah! He was actually flown to South Africa to spin for one of Oprah’s New Years Eve parties a few years back.
D J Cassidy looking at Jeffrey Gurian at a party in NYC, where Cassidy was spinning!
Both Jonny and Cassidy came to my sold-out totally packed, book party at The Friars Club for my book “Filthy, Funny, and Totally Offensive” and it was written up on Page 6.
Page 6 did a great write-up about Jeffrey Gurian's book party at The Friars Club, with all the names of the celebs that attended!
Anyway, Jonny was representing David Blaine at the time and was also like a mentor to him. We were sitting with Alan Grubman, the famous entertainment lawyer and father of P.R. queen Lizzie Grubman. Jonny asked David to show me some card tricks and the one I remember most is where he asked me to pick a card, look at it and put it back in the deck. Then he threw the entire deck at the window of the restaurant, and the card I picked was stuck to the glass outside of the restaurant looking in at us. I never saw anything like that in my entire life. Even if he would offer to tell me how he did it, I wouldn’t want to know. I prefer to think he has magical powers! He amazed us for quite some time with many different and amazing tricks, but that’s the trick that stands out to me.
I think it was shortly after that that Jonny got him his first huge TV deal for a special. It could have been for about a million bucks if I’m not mistaken. Since then I see David periodically, usually at some fun special event like Denise Rich’s Angel Ball, and he’s even a fan of my short comedy films “The Men Who Series”, about men who do very unusual things, like ” Men Who Take A Pitchfork To The Movies”, “Men Who Enjoy Latin Dancing With Tools”, and “Men Who Dance Alone In Gas Stations After They Close For The Evening.”
I never know whether to write about myself in the first person or third person, but it’s MY blog, so I guess first person is fine.
People who know anything about my story know that I was a severe stutterer. I started stuttering at about age 6 or 7 and it made my high school and college years miserable. Only another stutterer has any idea of the embarrassment and humiliation a stutterer feels when not only are they stuttering, but even worse, when nothing comes out.
That’s how it was for me. To this day, I’ll never forget the day in high school, when I was called on in class and I stood up to answer, which is what we had to do in those days, and absolutely nothing came out. Not a sound. And I felt the redness of embarrassment coming over me, and I can still feel it today. That’s how powerful the experience was.
I always knew a lot of kids and I didn’t let my stutter make me isolate, but it made me very unhappy. I couldn’t even say my name which is a problem for many stutterers. ( Not to say MY name to say their own names! LOL)
So when I got to college, and it was a huge college made up of kids from many high schools in NYC where I grew up, I made the decision to run for Pres. of the Freshman class, telling myself that if I could win the election and be President, I wouldn’t have to stutter anymore, because it would prove to me that kids liked me, and that I was okay.
Somewhere along the way I must have picked up the idea that I was flawed in some way, and I had a very negative self-image. Since I wasn’t able to say my name I appointed other kids as my campaign managers, and they introduced me to kids I didn’t know yet, and once I got a few words out I was able to speak.
Btw, my belief is that stutterers have a hard time saying their names, because your name represents your identity, so if you’re not happy with who you are, it’s not going to be easy for you to tell people who you are.
Anyway, I won the election and I was the President of the Freshman class of Hunter College and I still stuttered. It was a great lesson for me. It taught me that outside validation doesn’t work. It doesn’t matter how many people tell you you’re fantastic, and gorgeous and talented, it matters what you think of yourself.
I became obsessed with stopping stuttering. I had been to many types of therapy and none of them worked. As a matter of fact it made me worse being surrounded by stutterers worse than myself. I took the next two years and worked on myself constantly. I think that was about the time I was given the Grace to figure out that I didn’t stutter when I was alone.
Most stutterers don’t. That means there’s really nothing wrong with you. What a revelation. If you can speak fluently some of the time, you can speak fluently ALL of the time. I created the stuttering problem myself! And anything you create you can un-create. It took me a few years of very hard work, but it was worth it. One of my greatest accomplishments is being fluent.
I think about it every day and every time I speak. I’ve been doing radio and TV shows for years and I challenge myself all the time, and stand up to the fear. Stuttering is a bully that wants me to stay alone and not accomplish anything in my life.
With the popularity of The King’s Speech, which I thought was incredible, I was asked to do several public appearances to discuss Stuttering and my cure.
I’m including both of those video clips here, one on the Joey Reynolds show , ” All Night With Joey Reynolds” on NBC, and the other on Valerie Smaldone’s show Valerie’s New York, on WOR Radio.
One of my greatest gifts is working with other stutterers to teach them what I did and how NOT to stutter.
If anyone who is reading this happens to stutter or knows someone who stutters, after watching the two videos in this blog, please ask them to read the Stuttering page on my website, at http://dr.jeffreygurian.com/stuttering.html and if it makes sense to them, which is important, because a lot of my cure is about knowledge, ask them to contact me at [email protected]
I have been a fan of Page 6 in the New York Post for longer than I care to admit. As far as I’m concerned it’s the most powerful and most influential “gossip page” in the country, and I’ve been honored to be on it maybe a dozen times over the years, if not more.
Page 6 with Jeffrey Gurian, Gilbert Gottfried, and Richie Tienken, owner and founder of the legendary comedy club The Comic Strip after Gilbert's interview for the book Jeffrey is writing for the 35th anniversary of the club.
Every day, it’s basically the first thing I read in the NY Post, and very often I know many of the people being written about, so as a new feature of this Vlog, I will be telling some personal anecdotes involving the people written about on Page 6.
Today’s column is headed with a huge story on Camille Grammer, Kelsey Grammer’s ex-wife who supposedly recently settled their divorce for about $50 million bucks. Camille was one of Bravo’s “Housewives of Beverly Hills” and supposedly the producers of the show are concerned that she’s toning down her act so as not to stir up any trouble between her and Kelsey.
It seems that Kelsey is looking for custody of their kids, and she doesn’t want to give him any ammunition by acting out in any way on the show. Meanwhile the producers want the cast to be more outrageous for Season 2.
Camille agreed to the divorce settlement about a day before Kelsey was to marry Kayte Walsh, supposedly as an accommodation to him, and she doesn’t want to jeopardize all she’s attained for a reality TV show.
Camille is often portrayed in a negative light, but I know her for many years, since we were both kids, and she’s a sweetheart, with a heart of gold! (LOL)
Jeffrey Gurian with his dear friend Camille Grammer on the red carpet of the Comedy Central Night of Too Many Stars!
When I first met Camille, it was before her Playboy days. Her name was Camille Donatacci, and I cast her in two little comedy films that I wrote and co-produced, that just happened to be for Playboy TV.
Frank Chindamo Pres. and CEO of a company called “Fun Little Movies” which is now world known for creating video content for mobile phones, was in those days producing short films. He came to me to create a series of short “futuristic” films for Playboy TV, and I got famous comics like Richard Belzer, Pat Cooper, and Gilbert Gottfried to star in them, which they did strictly as a favor to me.
Camille was in two of them. In the one with Richard Belzer, called “The Bar Channel”, Belzer is at home watching “the bar channel”, where guys can scan girls from their homes. ( remember this was futuristic, before the days of Skype, and videophones.)
So in the script, guys watch this channel at home, scan for hot girls, and then try and pick up girls via TV’s that are placed on the bar. Phoebe Legere also starred in this one, and Belzer comes on the screen and offers her a drink.
She accepts and with that, another guy pops up on another screen and tries to muscle in on the first guy’s thing by belittling him.
Both guys are played by Belzer. An argument breaks out between them, and a bouncer comes and throws both TV’s out of the bar. Camille played a patron about whom Belzer says, ” That chick’s so hot she could set off the friggin’ sprinkler system.”
In the second film with Gilbert Gottfried called ” Seeing Is Believing”, Gilbert is in a club trying to pick up girls wearing glasses that can only be described as being kind of like microscopes. He has to focus his lenses by hand. His pick-up lines are the worst! ” Would you like to see some pictures of my furniture?”
Needless to say he meets no one. His friend tells him that maybe he needs to get new glasses, and for a few extra bucks he can get them with X-ray vision. Gilbert thinks that means he can see through girls clothing. He goes to the eye doctor and Camille is the sexy nurse.
Gilbert envisions seeing through her clothing, but after the surgery when the doctor gives him a remote control box to turn on the X-ray vision, he looks at Camille, presses the button, excitedly expecting to see her naked, but instead he sees her skeleton, and goes into seizures.
On the shoot, Camille looked gorgeous and every guy wanted to be with her, but she wouldn’t give anyone any play, hence instead of calling her Camille Donatacci, she got the nickname Camille “Don’t Touch Me.” We all knew she’d wind up with someone famous and successful and she certainly did.
Despite how they often portray her, she’s a great girl, with a good heart, and I wish her all the best!
Goodfellas came out in 1990. That was 21 years ago, and I don’t think anyone who ever saw the film will ever forget actor Frank Vincent’s line as Billy Batts to Joe Pesci’s character Tommy DeVito, ” Go home and get your shinebox.” Just hearing that line, and knowing Tommy’s hair trigger temper sends chills through most people. Billy Batt’s paid for that line with his life.
Jeffrey Gurian with Frank Vincent at the Soho International Film Festival event in Frank's honor!
As Phil Leotardo in The Sopranos, Frank got whacked in the last episode, standing in a gas station kissing his grandchildren goodbye, and fell under the wheel of his daughter’s car, which rolled over his head. Another Frank Vincent scene indelibly etched in the minds of whoever saw it.
Jeffrey Gurian with Frank Vincent at the Gen Art Film Festival back in 2006!
Frank Vincent’s presence on the big screen is so powerful that of all the guys who play gangsters, to me he stands out as one of the scariest. ( A definite compliment! ) So to find out that he started out as a comic was both startling and thrilling to me. He actually did stand-up with Joe Pesci. Pesci killed him in Goodfellas and he returned the kindness, and killed Joe Pesci in Casino.
Jeffrey Gurian with director John Gallagher, who's also on the Advisory Board of the Soho International Film Festival, and who produced the event in honor of Frank Vincent!
Frank was honored by the Soho International Film festival in a fantastic evening produced by award-winning film director John Gallagher, who will be working with Frank in an upcoming film called Fickle, written by Ryan O’Callaghan who was there to walk the red carpet with John and Frank.
All of Frank’s friends came out to support him including some of his Sopranos cast members. There was John “Cha Cha” Ciarcia, sometimes known as “The Mayor Of Little Italy”, who played Albie Cianflone, (and who couldn’t believe I remembered the name of his character), Tony (Paulie Walnuts) Sirico, and TV and film actress Sharon Angela, who memorably played Rosalie Aprile, on the hit HBO show, where during the 6th season she was elevated from a guest star to a series regular.
Jeffrey Gurian with John "Cha Cha" Ciarcia at the Friars Roast for Jerry Lewis in 2006!
Jeffrey Gurian and Tony Sirico in James Edstrom's column that was also on Page 6 of the NY Post where Tony (Paulie Walnuts) Sirico showed Jeffrey how real men take photos together, … with a fist through the other guy's arm!
Jeffrey Gurian with Sharon Angela at the Soho International Film Festival where she starred in Michael Imperioli's film "The Hungry Ghosts."
There were also lots of beautiful women there from all over the world, in the film business and not. I met two from The Philippines, Ida and Lisa, who were there to honor Frank and also had their own film in the festival.
(L-R) Lisa and Ida who came all the way from The Philippines for the Soho Film Festival!
And just to play it safe, I brought my own beautiful woman, (LOL) Lauren Francesca, the internet sensation known for playing Lady Gaga in The Key of Awesome films, ( www.thekeyofawesome.com) and who starred in two short films I created for her, “Besame Mucho’s Academy of Oral Skills”
Jeffrey Gurian and Lauren Francesca on the red carpet of the Soho International Film Festival!
and “The Magic Of Transforminol” about a magic pill that guys can take called “Transforminol” that makes their girlfriends look like Lauren.
The thing about Frank Vincent is that he’s nothing like what he looks like which makes his performance even more powerful. In his own words, he’s a nice guy, and he is. But he told a story that was so chilling it affected everyone in the audience.
He was saying how many people think they’re really gangsters when they’re really just Italian-American actors, but one night he walked into a restaurant and there was a real mob boss there who called him over to his table to say hello.
Frank’s group was then seated near this mob boss close enough for Frank to hear him mention something about Hollywood, which caused Frank to toss out a remark. With that the mob boss called him over to the table and in front of everyone there told Frank he had a lot of nerve barging in on his conversation, and as Frank phrased it, “He’d leave him standing right where he was, if he ever did that again.” Frank’s point in that story was well taken.
Frank is a good actor which is why he knows how to act like a gangster. A good actor has feelings. Real gangsters don’t.
John Gallagher is on the advisory board of the Soho International Film Festival and works directly with Sibyl Santiago, the director of the festival, who was incredibly helpful to me in getting this story done. She made sure that I got to speak to everyone I wanted to see.
Aside from directing John also teaches acting, and among other places taught for five years at the prestigious Neighborhood Playhouse on East 54th Street in Manhattan, the school where Sanford Meisner taught for more than 50 years. I even took the summer program there one year because as a director, I thought it behooved me to understand the acting process as much as possible. It was a fantastic experience.
I’m hoping that John will be directing a film that I wrote that he fell in love with called “Men of Violence.” It’s a gangster/martial arts/action film with lots of comedy.
The comedy is real, as is the violence, in the style of Pulp Fiction. It’s about a plastic surgeon who is obsessed with violence. He studies martial arts and carries a gun. When he accidentally kills a mob boss’ son protecting his wife during a mob hit in a restaurant, he has to become the baddest man on the planet in order to save his own life and the lives of his family.
All we have to do now is raise the money! ( Maybe Kickstarter?) The cast we don’t have to worry about. Between John and myself we know every gangster/actor in the business!
Check out Jeffrey on the red carpet for Frank Vincent!
When director John Gallagher ( Blue Moon, The Deli) called me and told me he was on the advisory Board of the Soho International Film Festival and that Michael Imperioli would be showing a new film that he wrote and directed called ” The Hungry Ghosts”, I was like, ” Count me in.” Any time I get a chance to see a Michael Imperioli project I jump at it.
Jeffrey Gurian and director John Gallagher on the red carpet at the Soho International Film Festival where John produced an event honoring Frank Vincent and did a Q&A with Michael Imperioli for his film "The Hungry Ghosts."
Michael Imperioli is a great, great talent and one of the most humble guys in the business. The testament to his talent is how unlike he is to the character he might be best known for, Christopher Moltisanti, Tony Soprano’s nephew in The Sopranos.
Jeffrey Gurian with Michael Imperioli back in his Sopranos days at a fundraising event!
I was an ardent Soprano fan, and knowing Michael for quite a while, and always seeing him as a quiet, gentle, introspective kind of person, I was shocked to see how easily he came to playing such a violent character. That’s when I realized what it means to be a talented actor. When you can leave your own personna and actually become the person in the script.
Steve Schirripa, Jeffrey Gurian, and Tony Sirico at a fundraising event at Marquee in NYC!
The Hungry Ghosts is a fascinating film, written and directed by Michael, in his directorial debut, and he was joined in the script by four of his Sopranos castmates, Steve Schirripa, who stars as Frank, John Ventimiglia, Vince Curatola, and Sharon Angela.
Jeffrey Gurian and John Ventimiglia at an event at Studio Dante, Michael's old acting school and theatre.
Vince ( Johnny Sack) Curatola on set with Jeffrey Gurian, playing a doctor in an award-winning short film Jeffrey wrote called "I Am Woody", about a mob boss obsessed with Woody Allen!
Sharon Angela and Jeffrey Gurian on the red carpet after the showing of Sharon's film "The Hungry Ghosts" directed by Michael Imperioli, in the Soho International Film Festival!
Steve Schirripa is absolutely fantastic as Frank, a drunk, and drug addict whose life is spiraling out of control, and who can’t seem to be there for the son he loves, and who’s suffering because Frank can’t open up to him.
Other stand-outs in the cast are Nick Sandow and the beautiful, and talented Aunjanue Ellis who I had met previously through director Bill Duke from his movie Cover.
Sharon Angela and Nick Sandow during the Q&A after the film at the Quad Cinema!
Aunjanue Ellis during the Q & A for the movie Cover, directed by Bill Duke!
Aunjanue plays a great role in this film, and somehow Michael managed to take four characters, four diverse stories and magically weave them into one story where the characters actually meet in a scene at the end. Very difficult to do, and very well done!
Michael was surprised to see me during the Q&A and I caught up with him afterwards to congratulate him on the film, and to shoot a little personal video with him, which he was kind enough to do. Check it out here!
The movie can be seen on Hulu in it’s entirety at http://www.hulu.com/watch/225008/the-hungry-ghosts
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