They say that beautiful women can’t be funny! Who “they” are no one actually knows, but whoever “they” are, Lynne Koplitz disproves that myth.
The beautiful, sexy, and funny Lynne Koplitz with Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV at Gotham Comedy Club in NYC!
She also did a very brave thing. At least I thought it was brave. She was headlining Gotham Comedy Club, and taping her show to be used for an upcoming project, and with her manager Rick Dorfman in the audience, one of the top comedy managers in the biz, (who also works with JB Smoove), she decided to go off on her own, and not do the act she had been preparing to do.
It was the first show of her weekend headlining gig, and instead of doing her prepared material, she did what I compared to a Patrice O’Neal type of performance, which she thanked me for. She said I got what she was doing.
She was looking for truth, and talked to the audience about all kinds of things, mostly about getting older, and the state of her life. It was very ballsy, and I had to give her props for that. She even said about herself, “This stripper is chatty!”
Lynne Koplitz onstage at Gotham offering an audience member a sip of her drink!
The last time I had seen her was this past summer in Montreal in the lobby of the Hyatt Hotel, where I interviewed her for my Comedy Matters TV channel, which was chosen as the official celeb interviewer at the festival. She was nursing a broken shoe, which she also attributed as part of her hooker look! It’s about 31 minutes and 58 seconds in!
I’m sure the rest of her shows were her regular material but only someone who has performed before an audience knows how hard it is to perform at all, and then to get up and do something you didn’t expect to do makes it all that much harder. She’s a courageous performer to do something like that.
Jimmy Failla was the MC and is always reliably funny, and a great host. One of the lines that stuck out for me is that he wanted a child who would be friendly to other children, so he named his son Sandusky!
MC Jimmy Failla warming up the crowd at Gotham Comedy Club!
Ryan Hamilton gave a stand-out performance, and got huge laughs. Starting from the moment he walked out on stage. Before he even said a word!
Only in comedy are we happy when people laugh at our appearance. Performers use it as a prop. Not like a Gallagher or Carrot Top prop that you have to pull out of a suitcase, but a prop you always have with you! Your face!!!
Ryan Hamilton and Jeffrey Gurian from Comedy Matters TV after a wild hot-air balloon ride, at Gotham Comedy Club!
Audiences always like when comics tell them who they look like. With me it’s a cross between Phil Spector and Elton John. Ryan says he looks like a comedy club logo. And because of that he can’t even go to a funeral. It wouldn’t be appropriate! (LOL)
Ryan Hamilton onstage, describing himself as looking like the logo for a comedy club!
He did a fantastic bit on hot air ballooning, about taking a girl up in a hot air balloon on a date. You have to go early, like 5 A.M. and it takes two hours which means you’re finished at 7 A.M. Not a particularly romantic time of the day!
He described it as a romantic experience with a guy standing in the corner. In a thing made of wicker. Wicker makes him nervous even on the ground.
And the guy who flies it calls himself a pilot! Ryan felt that was a very generous term to use. The guy doesn’t even know where we’re going! Do you wanna go up or down??? (LOL) Those are your two choices!
He also said he went out with a girl he knew from the 3rd grade who suggested they pick up where they left off, so he pulled her hair, and ran away!
In the comedy world where backbiting and jealousy are so rampant, its nice to be able to feel happy for someone’s success. With Lisa Lampanelli I get that opportunity all the time. Lisa is a comedy superstar, who I’ve had the pleasure of knowing for many years now.
Lisa Lampanelli and Jeffrey Gurian at The Friars Club for Lisa’s singing debut!
I knew her when she was about 100 pounds heavier and as she lost weight over the years I sometimes worried that it might affect her career. If it did, it was only for the better, because now not only is she just hysterically funny, but she is also an inspiration for people who want to change their lives.
Lisa Lampanelli and Jeffrey Gurian back in the day, circa 2002!
It doesn’t take much incentive to stay the way you are. Anyone can do that. But to take your current situation and decide that you’ve had enough of living like that, and decide to make a change is a rare and admirable trait. Most people don’t do it. I did it in my own life, as a former severe stutterer, whose speech could easily have kept me from accomplishing anything in my life that had to do with speaking, which is just about everything!
Instead I drew on some inner strength I didn’t know I had, and by focussing all of my energy, and refusing to continue my life as a stutterer, I was able to conquer that “disability”, and go on to do many things where I use my speech in public, like appearing on radio and TV, performing, and addressing large crowds of people, none of which I would ever have done as a stutterer.
Lisa did that by having the courage and determination to change her appearance into the rich, glamorous woman she is today, and I’m sure she’s still pleasantly surprised every time she looks in the mirror, which I hope is a lot these days! (LOL)
The new and improved Lisa Lampanelli, post weight-loss surgery! What an amazing transformation! Photo by Andrew Coppa.
She and her handsome husband Jimmy Cannizzaro, who has gone from looking like a building with clothes to just a garden apartment with clothes,
(and I mean that only in the best way!) (LOL) have done it together. It would have been too weird for just one of them to go through such a drastic change.
Jimmy Cannizzaro and Lisa Lampanelli at the Donald Trump Roast before they both went through their dramatic transformations!
Now her comedy is a whole other thing. She’s known as “The Loveable Queen of Mean”, which is a perfect title for her, as opposed to the “Queen of Mean” title that Leona Helmsley carried. It’s very fitting in Lisa’s case since in my mind she does a very important public service beyond making people laugh. She allows people to laugh at themselves before they laugh at each other.
Very few comics can do that, and the reason she can is because she comes from a place of love. You know that there’s no hatred in her heart for any ethnic group or sexual persuasion, which is why her comedy is so popular with every group. Russell Peters does something similar which is why I refer to him as “The Messiah of Comedy”. His audience is completely multi-ethnic, and within moments he has every group laughing at themselves and each other.
People can sense where you’re coming from when you say something and with Lisa they know it’s all in fun. This Friday, Jan, 18th she brings her unique talents to Westbury Theatre. I can’t wait to go and see her. When I spoke to her earlier this week she had this to say:
“I can’t wait to come back to Westbury Music Fair or whatever the f- that venue is calling itself today. Actually, when I play there, they should just call it the ‘T&A Theatre.’ No, that’s not short for ‘Tits & Ass.’ It’s short for Terrorizing and Antagonizing, which is what I do best! But for some reason people seem to be able to take it, and the people of Long Island are some of the best at that!”
The world needs Lisa Lampanelli. There’s too much Political Correctness and instead of bring people together, by making them respect each other, (which I think may have been the original intention), it’s actually divided people by making every group hypersensitive to the remarks of others. Lisa helps to break down those barriers and in doing so is doing a tremendous public service!
Lisa is also in my new book Make ‘Em Laugh” with Chris Rock about the 35 year history of the legendary comedy club “The Comic Strip” for which she gave me such a cool interview!
Jeffrey Gurian and Lisa Lampanelli the day Lisa did the interview for Jeffrey’s book ” Make ‘Em Laugh”!
She’s even part of my ” Dancing With Comedians” series of photos, of which very few comics have made the cut!
Jeffrey Gurian dancing with Lisa Lampanelli as part of his rare “Dancing With Comedians” photo series!
I can’t wait to see her at Westbury and then again at The Apollo at the end of the month! More on that to come!
Nick Kroll is a master of characters. He’s a chameleon. (And by comparing him to a lizard, I mean that only in the best sense! LOL)
When he’s in his Gil Faizon mode as you’ll see in the accompanying video, I can not see Nick Kroll. His facial expressions don’t look like they even belong to him. Same with Bobby Bottleservice, or Fabrice Fabrice. And putting him together with his longtime friend, writing partner, and SNL staple John Mulaney, the other half of the “Oh, Hello” boys, creates comedy energy on a level you could only describe as “nuclear”!
Bobby Bottleservice may be my favorite character because I’ve known so many guys like that. And he nails it 1,000 percent. I have my Bobby Bottleservice poster hanging prominently in my writing room from the time I went down to see Bobby at a special event in a clothing store,(it could have been Ed Hardy! LOL) where he was making a personal appearance as Bobby B, and signing posters. On mine he wrote. ” To Jeff, You are the only person with better hair than me!”
Bobby Bottleservice and Jeffrey Gurian at a promo event in NYC, where Bobby was making a personal appearance!
I was good friends with the late Phil Hartman who was also greatly respected for his amazing character work, and I hope Nick doesn’t mind the comparison, because I don’t like to compare talents, but I think Nick is the new Phil Hartman. The great thing is that if Nick was on an ensemble show like SNL he’d only get to show his talent sporadically throughout the show. By having his own show,he can really shine by being in every single sketch, which I hope he is!
Phil Hartman and Jeffrey Gurian at the piano in Jeffrey’s living room after a writing session, Oct., 1990!
And all of his friends are involved as well, like Ed Helms, Jason Mantzoukas, Jon Daly, and Paul Scheer, which adds to the level of performance because they know each other so well. Jon Daly functions as talent and also as a producer on the show. I could watch Nick and Jon in Rich Dicks all night, and I wouldn’t be surprised if that sketch turns into a spin-off show on it’s own.
Nick Kroll and his friends breaking for lunch on the set of Kroll Show in LA, 3-20-12!
Ed Helms and Jeffrey Gurian on the LA set of Kroll Show. Ed had gotten up to take a call and was not part of the previous lunch scene photo, but he was there!
Jason Mantzoukas who plays Rafi in FX’s The League, with Jeffrey Gurian on the LA set of Kroll Show. This was just before Jason co-starred with Sacha Baron Cohen in The Dictator!
Comic Joe Mande is on the show, and you’ll see him in the video above as well. When Nick brought me out to LA last March to tape some sketches with him and John Mulaney, I got to meet Joe Mande and like me, he wound up also making his Kroll Show debut by doing a sketch involving tuna fish. The door to my trailer actually had me listed as “Tuna Jeff”, a name I have worn proudly ever since! (LOL)
Jeffrey Gurian’s trailer door on the LA set of “Kroll Show”, clearly identifying him as ” Tuna Jeff”!
On the set of Kroll Show during the “Woody Allen party sketch” with Jeffrey Gurian, Gil Faizon, Karen Black, and George St. Geegland!
One of my faves is when Bobby Bottleservice is talking on the phone with sexy aspiring singer, (not perspiring, … aspiring!) Farley, played magnificently by Chelsea Peretti. Bobby is trying to sweet talk Farley as a “record producer” who wants to work with her, and Farley entices him further by saying ” A lot of people say I have a real cute laugh!” And then she does it!
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV at The Comedy Store in LA. with the funny and sexy Chelsea Peretti, aka Farley on the new Kroll Show!
I don’t know why girls like that are still sexy to me, but they are! (LOL) Suddenly his mother, who even the thought of always brings tears to his eyes, interrupts their video chat, and he tries to pass off his Mom as his secretary.
She calls him down for dinner telling him his food would get cold, and he responds all choked up, ” I would never let a meal go cold on you Ma!” Unbelievably funny!
This sketch is a “must see” as far as I’m concerned! (No one knows exactly how far that is, but it’s pretty far!)
A couple of months back Nick, Jon Daly and producer John Levenstein, a great guy who is also involved in the hit show Arrested Development with David Cross, debuted some of Kroll Show at Comic Con 2012, and I was there to interview them. So many Johns! John Mulaney, John Levenstein, and Jon Daly, who somehow genetically seems to have lost the “H” in his name. And the show is directed by yet another Jon, the amazing Jon Krisel also known for creating Portlandia for Fred Armisen.
Jeffrey Gurian with director Jon Krisel, one of the many “Johns” that populate the L.A, set of Kroll Show!
Rumour has it that some men NOT named John, or any variation there-of are also involved with the show!
Kroll Show is a fantastic piece of work, and I know it will be a HUGE hit! I wish them all luck, and can’t wait to see it, … and be on it!
Dean Edwards is one of those rare guys who starts out strong and gets even stronger the longer he’s on stage. When most comics are winding down, he’s just getting started. Last night at Gotham, the room was so packed they almost had to put strangers at my table! (LOL) That’s packed!
Headliner Dean Edwards with Gotham owner Chris Mazzilli at the gorgeous Gotham Comedy Club!
And Dean greeted me warmly when I came in which made it even more special. Then he told me had had my book ” Make ‘Em Laugh” and that made it even better, and then he topped that by telling me he was in Barry Katz’s office out in LA and when he walked in Barry had my book on his desk!
Barry is one of the co-creators of Last Comic Standing and one of the top comedy managers in the biz. Last July in Montreal we did a “two-hug interview” for my Comedy Matters TV, which you can see right here. A “two-hug” interview by the way, is a very rare occurrence! (LOL) This may be the only one in existence!
Dean and I will always have a special moment that we shared because I was standing with him in Montreal during the Just for Laughs Festival when he found out he had gotten SNL. It was very exciting for me, so I can only imagine how HE felt! (LOL)
Dean Edwards and Jeffrey Gurian from Comedy Matters TV outside the showroom at Gotham Comedy Club!
Karen Bergreen was the MC and Karen is always funny, and really knows how to warm up an audience! She mines her relationship with her two little boys for material, and she imitates them perfectly! Not that I know them, but for all intents and purposes, it sounds like she imitates them perfectly!
MC/comic Karen Bergreen onstage at Gotham Comedy Club!
Like when they were riding in a cab where the driver was wearing a turban, and her little six year old son asked, ” Mommy, why is a genie driving our taxi?” That is hysterical! I’m sure the driver had no idea what that meant either! (LOL)
And when her older 8 year old son told her something he liked about her that was kind of a backhanded compliment she answered with, “And the only think I like about you more than your little brother is that your school day is longer!”
Harris Stanton came up next and he too is always a crowd pleaser. He was also very close to Patrice Oneal and was on Patrice’s last big show when he taped “Elephant in the Room” down at the Skirball Theatre. I used to see him a lot when I was hanging out at CB’s Comedy Club down on Macdougal Street!
Anyway he totally brought his A-game to the stage, and talked about how New York has changed him since he was a polite young man who came here from down South. Now he raced a woman to a seat on the subway!
Harris Stanton onstage, opening for Dean Edwards at Gotham Comedy Club!
And I like when he does a bit about how people shouldn’t complain if they get hurt being someplace they’re not supposed to be, and he directed this remark mostly to white people. Like if a guy gets bit by a shark. Harris is like, “Where were you when it happened? In the ocean? Well you see that’s the problem. You were in the shark’s home. If you got bit by a shark in the supermarket, I’d feel bad for you, but if you go into the ocean where you don’t belong, you gotta expect that to happen.
Or when guys get lost climbing a mountain. Another white guy thing! You don’t read about Black guys getting lost in an avalanche, or being attacked by a shark while surfing. Only white guys do stuff like that!
Rich Francese always has great lines and he was up next. He said he thought his wife was cheating on him, because the other day he caught her belittling another man! That’s really funny!
Rich “The Bouncer” Francese killing it onstage at Gotham Comedy Club!
He also said he didn’t get the concept of an ‘intervention”. At an intervention the alcoholic or drug addict is surrounded by his parents, relatives and loved ones. Aren’t those the people who made you drink and take drugs in the first place?”
Dean’s audience was waiting for him, and he hit the stage to resounding applause. He talked about lots of different things. Like people who read the NY Times always want you to know they read the NY Times! “Like, … I saw this article in the NY Times, …”
Personally the NY Times makes me nervous. Especially the Sunday edition. I always feel like I’m gonna have to cut out articles and summarize them for the next day as “Current Events” homework! I still hate Sundays because of that memory!
If you take a moment to watch this you’ll see a little film I made some years ago as part of The “Men Who” Series, about men who do very unusual things. It’s called “Men Who Dance In Traffic With The Sunday Edition of the NY Times.” That’s about all it’s good for! (LOL)
In talking about women, Dean says he wants a woman so fine that when she enters a room, she has her own theme music, and it plays automatically!
He did a masterful piece which got an applause break about being the only Black guy on a flight to Russia, where they thought he was Kobe Bryant, and he imitated the Russian accent like it was a Grinch song backwards.
Dean Edwards showing lots of expression during his sold out headlining gig at Gotham!
Accents and impressions are a real strongpoint for Dean, and his Eddie Murphy is only surpassed by his Denzel Washington which he used to close the show the night I saw him.
In talking about Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney Kardashian he said that never in this country have Black men been so supportive of the KKK! And that Kim Kardashian has taken out more Black men than Sickle Cell Anemia! That is HYSTERICAL!
On comparing his Associates Degree education to that of his wife who is a professional, with a Post-Graduate degree, he said an associates degree is like a receipt that you were in the building, … nothing more! Nothing to brag about!
He even does impressions of animals! When he described Beyonce as being so fine she was like a stallion, he pranced around the stage clip-clopping like a horse.
But ending on introducing his wife to Denzel Washington was the piece-de-resistance, that proves what an “artiste” Dean Edwards is! Plus he’s the nicest guy you’d ever want to meet!
For the last 36 years, which is a claim probably no other comedy club in NYC can make, The Comic Strip has held it’s annual Holiday party. This year was no exception and I had the honor of being one of the hosts, so I invited lots of fun people and lots of great girls.
Jeffrey Gurian and Lauren Francesca dressed as her “Jeffrey Gurian created character, Besame Mucho”! Unfortunately she didn’t wear this outfit to the party but she was there in all her glory!
Both my agent JL Stermer, and my publisher Julie Matysik from Skyhorse Publishing were there, adding to the “beautiful women factor”!
(L-R) JL Stermer. Jeffrey Gurian, and Julie Matysik at the Comic Strip holiday party!
Jim Mendrinos who is always funny, and a great host, hosted the show which featured a surprise visit from comic Hiram Kasten, who I hadn’t seen since the 80’s when I was hanging out with, and writing for Rodney Dangerfield. Hiram was a regular at Dangerfields in those days, but I think has been out in LA for many years.
The party was amazing, and really packed with hundreds of people, including tons of comics a few of whom were Tony Woods, Brian Scott McCarthy, Abbi Crutchfield, Joe Rocha, PJ Landers, Nancy Lombardo, Andrea Mezvinsky, Stu Trivax, and the legend Gladys Simon, plus reporter/comic Marlaina Schiavo, TV star Robin Byrd, internet star Lauren Francesca, Hazel Pascual running for Miss New York State, and Mark Malkoff from My Damn Channel, with his beautiful wife Christine!
Mark Malkoff from My Damn Channel, and his beautiful wife Christine!
Gladys Simon and Andrea Mezvinsky at the Comic Strip holiday party!
Owner/founder Richie Tienken went all out on providing tons of food and open bar for all the guests, and his wife Jeannie and son Richie were there adding to the festivities!
Manager JR helped plan the entertainment which was an assortment of homemade videos by the comics, and a couple of imitations, one being of ME!!! Comic Sean P. Darr did his second annual impression of me, and next year I will insist on helping him with it so that he gets my lines down right.
Sean P. Darr taking the stage as Jeffrey Gurian!
He got the hair and the scarf, but didn’t get the glasses, or the act! (LOL) It’s not really possible to imitate me anyway, … right??? (LOL)
Sean P. Darr doing his version of The 12 Days of Christmas as Jeffrey Gurian!
Anyway there were lots of beautiful girls there too as you’ll see in the photos below:
Sheryl always comes out to support me! Thank you Sheryl! XOXOX
Jennifer definitely brightened up the party with her presence! Thank you Jen! XOX
I’m anxious to see Trina B. Real perform! And what a great smile!
One that was missing was the super-talented, internationally known ballerina Shoko Tamai who was preparing for her show later that same evening, which I went to see!
Shoko Tamai performing at her show Red Christmas which kept her from attending the Comic Strip party! I didn’t even know I knew anyone who could do that!!! Personally, I still don’t think it’s possible! (LOLOLOL)!!!
His face was known all over the world. Even if you didn’t know the name Charles Durning, you recognized his face. He was in more than 100 films, including “Tootsie” with Dustin Hoffman, “The Sting” with Robert Redford, “The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas”, “Dog Day Afternoon” with Al Pacino, and so many more! He was a police chief in “Dick Tracy”, and sold frog legs in “The Muppet Movie”!
He starred on Broadway, and won a Tony for his portrayal of Big Daddy in a 1989 revival of “Cat On A Hot Tin Roof”, and got two Best Supporting Actor Oscar nominations and nine Emmy nominations. He was a beloved character, who in 2008 was honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame!
I met him years ago at a wrap party out in LA, for a film he did with my friend Scott Baio called “Very Mean Men”, with Matthew Modine, Ben Gazzara, Martin Landau, and Burt Young to name a few of the more recognizable names. It was directed by Tony Vitale, who had just directed a film that I wrote with Scott Baio called “Face to Face”.
Scott Baio and Jeffrey Gurian in LA at the wrap party for “Very Mean Men” at Planet Hollywood! Scott was blonde for his role in “Very Mean Men”!
It was a comic drama directed by Ellie Kanner about three young men (Scott Baio as Richie, Thomas Calabro as Philly and Carlo Imperato as Al) who kidnap their emotionally distant fathers, (Dean Stockwell, Alex Rocco, and Joe Viterelli), for a weekend of forced “male bonding.” The movie won the Audience Prize for Best Comedy at the Marco Island Film Festival, the Silver Screen Accolade in the Reno Film Festival and the 10 Degrees Hotter Best Feature Award during the Valley Film Festival. It was also chosen as the opening night film for the Taos New Mexico Talking Picture Festival.
I missed a couple of those because my Dad was terminally ill at the time, and I wanted to be here for him. I made it to Taos though as well as a great festival in Sedona, Arizona. There’s nothing more exciting than having your film shown in a film festival, especially when you’re there with the stars.
I had met so many stars before, but I was really impressed to meet Charles Durning. There was something about him that always drew me to him. I had admired his talent for years and I think he even played W.C. Fields in a movie, and W.C. Fields was my favorite comedian of all time.
Scot Baio, Jeffrey Gurian, and the great Charles Durning at the wrap party for “Very Mean Men” at Planet Hollywood in LA!
Charles Durning is a talent that will be missed! R.I.P. Charles!
The logo and opening shot of “Nick and Artie”, seen nightly Mon-Fri, 10 P.M. to 1 A.M.on Sirius Radio and DirecTV!
I was really psyched to do the “Nick and Artie” Show and talk about my new book “Make ‘Em Laugh” with Chris Rock, after Artie invited me to come on one night when he was judging The Lottery Show at The Comic Strip. The book is about the 35 year history of The Strip and is written with Richie Tienken the owner and founder of the club.
The promo for Jeffrey Gurian on the “Nick and Artie Show”!
Then I ran into Artie a few days later when he performed at a memorial show for Patrice O’Neal at Gotham Comedy Club, and he invited me again.
Patrice and I were very close and he honored me my making me his co-host along with Dante Nero, when he hosted The Black Phillip Show on Sirius Radio. We always had fun, and I always made sure to bring lots of hot models with me, cause nothing is more fun than mixing comedy with beautiful girls!
This is a phone call from Patrice that I will always treasure, inviting me to do our own show together! Unfortunately that never came to fruition, and will always be one of the great disappointments of my life!
(L-R) Dante Nero, Drew Boogie, Jeffrey Gurian, Carlotta Butler, Patrice Oneal, and in back Kathy and Dawn Leak, AKA “The Leak Sisters!”
So I make my arrangements to come on the show with Liz Canavan of “Twinsanity”, and I went down there with my buddy from L.A. Nathan Oventhal who starred in my film “Men Who Take A Fish To Work”, the newest addition of The “Men Who Series!”
Nathan Oventhal holding a fish with nightlife impresario Wass Stevens on the set of ” Men Who Take A Fish To Work”!
Liz greeted us and brought us to the green room, where I see that Richard Lewis is a guest on the show. Richard is not only a dear friend, but he also wrote a blurb that’s on the back cover if “Make ‘Em Laugh” and I hadn’t had the chance yet to give him a copy.
Luckily I had an extra one with me, so I told Liz to tell Richard I was here. Next thing I know I hear someone calling my name, and it was him. I hadn’t seen him since the year before when we did a private Comedy Matters TV interview at The Friars Club, and it was so great to see him again!
Richard Lewis being interviewed by Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV at The Friars Club in NYC!
He said he was really excited about the book, and congratulated me on bringing it to life after four years of work. And the timing was so cool that I had one to sign and to give him. He wrote a hilarious blurb that said:
The hilarious blurb sent to me my my great pal Richard Lewis!
Richard has always been a favorite of mine in many ways. To my detriment I relate so much to his personna!(LOL) Back around 1997 when he was starring in the movie “Drunks”, I got the bright idea that I should be writing for him, although I knew he always writes his own stuff. But it was my dream, like when I got a chance to show my earliest material to Woody Allen, expecting him to leave what he was doing and run off and write films with me! (LOL)
That didn’t happen by the way! This is as close as I got to that!
The night I made Woody Allen laugh by saying, ” Hi Woody, I’m a very close friend of yours!” You can see how absolutely hysterical he is in this photo!
I did however make some films he encouraged me to make called “The ‘Men Who’ Series” about men who do very unusual things, like “Men Who Take A Pitchfork To The Movies”, “Men Who Enjoy Latin Dancing With Tools”, and one special one in particular called “Men Who Swim To Work” starring Mike Bochetti, currently the side-kick on Nick and Artie, which airs on both Sirius radio and DirecTV!
Mike Bochetti as he appears today in 2012, with Jeffrey Guiran on the set of “Nick and Artie” where he is a regular!
And if you watch ” Men Who Dance Where They’re Not Supposed To” you’ll see award winning actor Peter Dinklage, star of HBO’s “Game of Thrones” getting arrested for dancing in a “No Dancing” zone!
So I wrote up some material for Richard which I called his “Born To Be Nervous” Tour, and brought it with me to the theatre. For whatever reason I arrived late, and tried to bypass a long line of people waiting to get in, by running down a staircase which turned out to be leading to the Men’s Room! And who comes out walking towards me but Richard himself and he says, “What are you doing here?” To which I responded my handing him a manila envelope filled with neatly typed jokes.
These were some of them: My family are firm believers in the power of negative thinking. They feel you can ruin almost anything, if you really put your mind to it.
Low self esteem goes back in my family to the beginning of time. I actually had an uncle who was supposedly the first man to walk erect. But he couldn’t hold it. He’d take a few steps, and just slump over.
ALTERNATIVE – …. I actually had an uncle who was supposedly the first man to walk erect, but nobody noticed.
My shrink was also treating me for feelings of loneliness. At one point, I was so lonely, I tried to develop a split personality, just for the company.
I once knew a guy from group therapy who had a split personality. He dated a girl who also had a split personality. They used to double date.
He fell in love with her other personality, and she fell in love with his other personality. They got married, accused each other of cheating with themselves, and the marriage fell apart.
Anyway less than an hour after I got home, I got this message from Richard on my answering machine. Another message that I treasure:
So as I reminisced with Richard about the video we shot at The Friars, Richard commented that it was a great interview but that he thought he looked like Lon Chaney’s undertaker, which we all thought was hysterical! I think he looked great! See what you think! (This is part 1. Part 2 is on the Comedy Matters You Tube Channel at http://www.youtube.com/guriannewsnetwork)
Richard is in town headlining Carolines on Broadway this weekend through Sunday night. If you can still get a seat, go down and see him. It’s always a treat to see Richard perform.
So going on the show with Nick and Artie was exciting and they made me feel right at home. Appearing with two powerhouse comics like that can be intimidating, but they were very generous, and made it easy for me to tell my stories about the history of The Comic Strip and all the huge stars that came out of there, … although I really wanted to have time to do my one of my special GNN news reports which I often do on radio.
GNN (Gurian News Network) are unusual stories missed by mainstream media, like “Man Robs Bank With His Chin”, “College Professor Fired For Casually Removing His Spine in Class”, and “Hunter Lost in Wilderness Saved By His Moustache!”. These are the kind of stories I wrote for the legendary Weekly World News in my own column called “Gurian’s World of the Bizarre!”
There was the story ” Rare Virus Sweeps Japan, Victims Too Weak To Bow” about two men hurt in a bowing accident, and “Man Impaled On Spike, Still Shows Up For Work On Time!”, which is kind of self-explanatory! Hence GNN is known as your source for ” All The News That’s Fit To Dance To!”
Four of the stories, including “Man With Infant’s Head Sues For Discrimination”, and “George Washington Wore Wooden Pants” got made into animated films and wound up in the Cannes Film Festival in 2009.
But with Nick and Artie, I got to tell some cool stories from Seinfeld, Paul Reiser, Gilbert Gottfried, Chris Rock and also got to discuss my days writing for Rodney and some other fun people.
We also talked about the synchronicity of events in life and Artie told me that two days after getting out of rehab, during a quite stressful and confusing time of his life, Nick called and asked him to be his co-host on the show. Talk about synchronicity. I hope Artie knows how much he is loved,by his fans and the public in general.
I’ll never forget the reaction to Artie when he came out onstage one night at Town Hall, I think it was, to a standing ovation before he even said a word. I had never remembered seeing a reaction like that to any comic before. And he gave Mike Bochetti the great opportunity to open for him. That’s the kind of great guy that Artie is. I remember very clearly going backstage to congratulate him. I don’t recall 100% where it was, but it was a huge venue and it was sold out!
So I’m so happy for him that he gets to do this great show five nights a week with his good friend Nick!
Nick DiPaolo on camera on his fantastic “Nick and Artie” show!
Their set is also incredible. It’s like the ultimate man-cave, complete with Foosball, ping-pong, big screen TV’s all over, a photo booth, a full size kitchen and as they pointed out to me, pull out beds. Ohhh, and I forgot to mention two beautiful blonde twins Liz and Marie Canavan known as “Twinsanity”!
Artie Lange onscreen during the broadcast of the Nick and Artie Show, on Sirius and DirecTV, Mon-Fri. from 10 P.M. till 1 A.M.
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV in a “Twinsanity” sandwich with Liz on the left, and Marie on the right! (If you’re facing the screen!)
Part of the great “Nick and Artie” set where guests come to chat!
The photo booth on the set of “Nick and Artie” where I came out looking like Lon Chaney’s undertaker!” Only models who are already gorgeous come out good in those photos! (LOL)
It’s a total party, I had a great time, and I really hope they ask me back!
Nick DiPaolo, Jeffrey Gurian from Comedy Matters TV and Artie Lange on the set of “Nick and Artie” , on Mon-Friday from 10 P.M. until 1 A.M.! Make sure to tune in!
After four years of work, my book “Make ‘Em Laugh” with Richie Tienken, owner/founder of the legendary comedy club The Comic Strip finally came out, and is in bookstores all across the country.
The front cover of “Make ‘Em Laugh” with an intro. by Chris Rock, and interviews with Seinfeld, Ray Romano, Billy Crystal, Lisa Lampanelli, Gilbert Gottfried, Susie Essman and tons more!
It’s about the 35 year history of the club which Richie opened on June 1, 1976, and which is still going strong. I got the idea for it back in 2008 while at the club one afternoon with Ann Curry and Gilbert Gottfried, coaching Ann on how to do stand-up comedy for some event she was doing, and I suggested to Richie that we do a book on the club.
(L-R) Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV, Ann Curry, PR guru Ryan McCormick, Gilbert Gottfried, and Richie Tienken, owner/founder of The Strip!
It took three years to get all the interviews and transcribe them from the digital audio recordings, because I did it all by myself. Every word. Every single word. It takes a long time to listen to an hour long conversation, which most of them were, if not longer, and transcribe every single word, by constantly pressing “Repeat” and playing each sentence over and over again to make sure you got it correctly.
That first summer, I went up to the Just for Laughs Festival in Montreal and got the first three interviews with Larry Miller, George Wallace and Paul Provenza.
Larry Miller with Jeffrey Gurian at The Comic Strip!
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV backstage with George Wallace at Just for Laughs in Montreal, the biggest comedy festival in the world!
At the end besides having a killer, hilarious introduction from Chris Rock, I had interviews with Jerry Seinfeld, Billy Crystal, Ray Romano, Paul Reiser, Gilbert Gottfried, Susie Essman, Colin Quinn, Paul Provenza, Jim Gaffigan, Lewis Black, Judah Friedlander, Lisa Lampanelli and many more! A book filled with stories from comedy legends on how they got their start and wound up at The Comic Strip.
Jeffrey Gurian, Jerry Seinfeld and Richie Tienken at The Comic Strip after Jerry’s interview for the book!
Richie Tienken, Ray Romano, and Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV at The Comic Strip after Ray’s interview for the book ” Make ‘Em Laugh!”
Although Gilbert Gottfried claimed he had never actually been there and just showed up to the interview for a free lunch! He did admit to having heard rumours around 1974 that a club would be opening so he stood in that spot for years waiting for it to open, and he heard it did eventually open and had electricity. He also heard that many comics came there for dessert, at which point he started yelling out to no one in particular that he wanted a Peach Melba!
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV, Gilbert Gottfried, and Richie Tienken trying to get Gilbert to admit he had ever performed at The Comic Strip!
This was as Richie Tienken was getting nauseous after having paid $50. to park, and was picking up the tab for lunch, to hear Gilbert say he had never been to the club. Needless to say, the interview was pure Gilbert, and hysterically funny.
I flew to LA to interview Billy Crystal, and that was really a treat. I hadn’t seen him in many years, and we got to reminisce about the days when I was a dentist and his manager at the time, the legendary Jack Rollins, who also managed Woody Allen and Robin Williams, wanted him to play me in a sit-com about a dentist in show biz.
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with Billy Crystal in his offices in Beverly Hills! Billy is pointing to his teeth referencing Jeffrey’s former life as a dentist!
Most of the interviews were done at The Comic Strip because Richie and I felt it would be advantageous for the comics to be in that environment because it would help to bring back memories and it did.
We got to hear great stories like how Chris Rock was discovered by Eddie Murphy in 1986 when Eddie was considered the biggest star in the world and was being managed by Richie at the time. Or how Ray Romano started his career under the name “Jackie Roberts” for the first two or three months.
Then he “bombed” one night and experienced stage fright, so he quit and went back to selling futons for his best friend, which became an episode of “Everybody Loves Raymond!” Two years later he returned to comedy at The Comic Strip under the name Ray Romano and the rest is history!
Richie Tienken, Chris Rock, and Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV at The Comic Strip after Chris’ interview for the book ” Make ‘Em Laugh!”
Interestingly enough, he even delivered a futon to Larry David who was already well known and true to character, was not happy with the futon, and made Ray take it back.
We have Jerry Seinfeld’s first sign-up sheet on the night he auditioned to perform at The Strip on June 17th, 1976. In those days you were rated, and Jerry was rated “Good” and then someone wrote, ” Definitely put on Monday, 6/21.” That person was smart!
And blurbs! You wanna see blurbs? I got so many celeb blurbs they almost had to use a separate page. I got blurbs from Judd Apatow the king of Hollywood comedies, Richard Lewis, Charles Grodin, Nick Kroll, (whose new “Kroll Show” comes out on Comedy Central in January with me on it!), Bob Saget, (who was kind enough to write: “No matter how many years pass, I can never say no to Jeff Gurian. Hence this quote on his book’s back cover!”) Plus Tom Papa, Danny Aiello, Mike Birbiglia, DJ Cassidy and more!
Back cover of “Make ‘Em Laugh” with blurbs from Judd Apatow, Richard Lewis, Tom Papa. Nick Kroll, Mike Birbiglia, Bob Saget and more!!!
Since the book came out we’ve been getting a lot of attention. Tons of press. A great review from Larry Getlen in the NY Post, an interview on NBC TV, Channel 4, 7 P.M. news with Roseanne Coletti, an interview with WPIX TV, Channel 11 with reporter Dan Mannarino, which will be airing the week of Dec. 10th, radio interviews with Judith Regan, and Ron Bennington of “Ron and Fez” on Sirius Radio, plus radio shows all over the country.
And the book is in the hands of lots of huge comedy stars like Chris Tucker, JB Smoove, Artie Lange, Colin Quinn, and Judah Friedlander to name a few!
Chris Tucker and Jeffrey Gurian up at Sirius Radio with Chris’ copy of the book ” Make ‘Em Laugh”!
Jeffrey Gurian with Artie Lange at The Comic Strip with Artie’s copy of the book ” Make ‘Em Laugh!”
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with Richard Belzer at The Friars Club. Jeffrey is holding Richard’s book, and Richard is holding his copy of Jeffrey’s book “Make ‘Em Laugh!”
The book is available in all Barnes and Noble stores in NYC, and on Amazon.com
Coming up, I’ll be doing a guest spot on Artie Lange’s new podcast with Nick DePaolo, talking about the book and all things comedy!
In the aftermath of the Wall Street meltdown of 2008, where so many people lost so much money due to the greed and dishonesty of the people who run Wall Street, many companies were sued in what are known as Class Action Suits, … one suit on behalf of the millions of people who were victimized in some way.
These suits are taken by law firms who get a large percentage of the settlement while the victims literally get pennies on the dollar to make up for their losses, adding only insult to injury.
Today after having a pretty good day, I got home, and checked my mail as I usually do. Inside it was an envelope identifying it as coming from SEC v. Bank of America Corp. Fair Fund. Underneath that it said ” Distribution Agent”. But the word “Fair” is the operative word here.
I read a letter that said I had owned 297 shares of Bank of America Corp. and as a settlement for my losses, which amounted to more than I want to think about, I was being reimbursed the grand total of $2.40. That is 0.008 cents per share. When I first saw the letter, I thought it had said I was receiving a check for $297. dollars. That would have been little enough. But $2.40? It must have cost more than that to send out the letter and statement!
What a joke, except it’s not even close to being funny. I expected to see an “LOL” after the amount. Wasn’t the person who wrote out that check embarrassed? How do you write out a check to someone reimbursing them for their losses and have the nerve to write two dollars and forty cents?
You wouldn’t even give that to someone as a tip. If someone helped you carry your heavy packages upstairs to your house, and you only gave them $2.40, I think you would be embarrassed. I can only imagine how much money the lawyers charged for this wonderful settlement of 0.0008 cents per share. Why even bother? I’ll tell you why, because you can be sure that made millions!
Not being a lawyer, my interpretation is strictly that of a layman. In most of these cases the defendant company never admits wrongdoing. They just eventually settle, with one of the contingencies seeming to be that they do not have to admit having done anything wrong. They just settle because they want to settle and have it over with.
I’m a firm believer in capitalism. I’m not one of those “Occupy Wall Street” people, who wants to tear it down, but I certainly understand their frustration. I stopped hoping for a Wall Street windfall a long time ago. To me the market is phony b.s.
It’s a big phony mess and the only people who make money are the traders. They don’t care if the market goes up or down. They make money either way. And then when the times comes to analyze the quarter and tell you how you did, instead of telling you how much money you made, they try and explain your current status in terms of percentages.
In other words, chances are you have less money at the end of the quarter than you did at the beginning, and on the surface even though it looks like you lost a lot of money, they try and spin it to show you how you didn’t do as badly as most of the other investment companies out there, as if that’s supposed to make you feel better. And they love doing it in percentages!
Whenever I’m in a conversation like that, all I keep asking is ” How much money do I have in my accounts?” I don’t care about the rest of the story and your percentages. Percentages mean nothing to me. Less than nothing.
I can’t spend percentages. I can only spend dollars. I want to know how many dollars I have now as compared to how many dollars I had before.
They hate that. They can’t answer you that way, with the truth, because all they could say then is that they’re sorry. They tried.
One day the market is up 200 points, the next day it’s down 400 points. It’s like gambling. Like going to Las Vegas, except on Wall STreet you’re gambling involuntarily with money you can’t afford to lose.
The market is driven by fear. Listen to any news broadcast. Every day they explain shifts in the market as being caused by “fears” of investors. Who are these investors who are so afraid of every single thing?
Every bit of news that comes across their computers puts them into a state of fear, where all they can think about is selling their stock so the market goes down, and so they can share their fear with others. Fears of inflation, fears of deflation, fears of trouble in The Middle East, fears of trouble in Europe, fears of unemployment, and if I hear the term “Fiscal Cliff” one more time, I may become ill!
What a disgusting term to keep repeating over, and over, and over again on every radio and TV station in America. Fiscal Cliff. That’s where these phony Wall Street guys belong. At the edge of a fiscal cliff. They pay themselves multi-million dollar bonuses for cheating people out of their life savings.
And short-selling is something I will never understand. How it is allowed that anyone can actually make money betting that the market will go down, by selling stock they don’t even own, is only a vehicle for unscrupulous people to make the market go down. I’m not sophisticated enough to know how they do that, but it’s obvious that they do, because every so often someone gets busted for manipulating the market in that way.
If the market goes down, NO ONE should be able to make money off of that. I think that would probably keep the market going up. And I’m sure they have their self-serving reasons to explain why short-selling is necessary, but once again it’s just another lie. It’s just another reason, or opportunity for them to make money at someone else’s expense.
So I’m not sure whether I’m going to cash this $2.40 check or not, or maybe I’ll just add it to another check I once got for 99 cents on another settlement, and go out and buy a candy bar, but when I saw it I just felt so disgusted with the people who have the nerve to send out checks for $2.40 and consider themselves having done a service, I felt I had to write about it.
I don’t know how these people sleep at night. And I don’t know who I despise more, the corporate people who cause the Wall Street downfall in the first place, or the scavenger lawyers who are supposedly representing the victims while lining their own pockets with the majority of the settlements. You can bet not one of these lawyers ever accepted a settlement for two dollars and forty cents!
Al Lubel likes his name. He says it a lot. He says it so much in fact that it becomes hysterical. If you don’t believe me ask anyone in the audience at any of his shows. I see a lot of comedy but it’s really rare to hear such sustained laughter throughout one set.
The hysterically funny Al Lubel on stage at Broadway Comedy Club!
Even the funniest comics have ups and downs, but Al Lubel really brings it! And Al was just part of a fantastic show I saw at Broadway Comedy.
Chris Murphy who has hair that any rock star in a hair band would envy was the MC. Chris said he gets yelled at a lot in the street because of his hair. People make remarks. Once someone yelled out ” Faggot”, and he was really ticked off, until he realized that of all the men in the crowd he was the only one who turned around!
Comic/MC Chris Murphy onstage at Broadway Comedy Club!
He’s also a redhead and said he hates it. He said if he married another redhead his kid would come out clear!
And he talked about the Irish being alcoholics. He said his father got a DUI, … during his driving test! (Hysterical!) And it was on the written part! (That’s what’s known as “the topper!”)
Not only is Chris funny, but he’s also a gentleman. He gave me a shout-out from the stage about my new book with Chris Rock called ” Make ‘Em Laugh”! Very cool!
Daniel Tirado talked about HIS father too. His father drank too but refused to go to Alcoholics Anonymous. He said that everyone knows he drinks, so he can’t be anonymous!
He also claimed to be a great cuddler, but said it’s not the kind of thing you can brag to your boys about! “Man, I cuddled the shit out of that girl!”
Daniel Tirado killing it onstage at Broadway Comedy Club!
He also talked about picking up chicks in third world countries, and how the lines would differ from what you might use at home, ” Girl, I heard the Red Cross is in town this weekend. Maybe we could get together and get vaccinated!” Very funny stuff!
Ross Bennett is always a crowd pleaser, from the time he opens till he closes by asking the audience if they mind if he does a line from an old act, and with their permission says, ” How about that Watergate thing?” He always leaves the stage to huge applause.
Ross Bennett looking like he’s trying to hail a cab from the stage at Broadway Comedy Club!
Chips Cooney comes out as a master magician and purposely messes up the tricks but it’s hysterical!
Chips Cooney performing comedy magic at Broadway Comedy Club!
But Al Lubel is a story unto himself. Really strange thoughts, really clever, really funny. He’s obsessed with saying AlLubel, as if it’s one name like Cher, or Rihanna. The way James Bond introduces himself in his inimitable way by saying, “Bond. James Bond!” Al would say, “AlLubel! AlLubel”! It may not play well on paper, but onstage it’s a killer.
He was walking down the street thinking, ” Nothing ever dawns on me!” I love that. It reminds me of the fact that I enjoy “mentioning” things to people. I do it as a hobby.
Al Lubel wondering why things never dawn on him, at Broadway Comedy Club!
More Al Lubellism’s – He said he tried to raise his self-esteem but then he realized he wasn’t worth it.
After saying his name many times in a row, he said to the audience, ” The more I say my name, the more you look at me and say, ” Who is this guy?” I’m Al Lubel.
His room is so small, it’s only 5×10. He personally is 2×6. When he gets out of bed, he’s still in bed! ( I love that! LOLOLOL)
All he does all day is sleep and rest. On his tombstone they’ll write, ” May he continue to rest in Peace!”
He even thought about suicide, and wondered how people would react if he jumped off a building, and just before he landed he shot himself in the head. People on the ground would think, ” He couldn’t wait another second?”
I could listen to AlLubel all night. And the best part is that he works clean! A real rarity, even in my own act!
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