If there is such a thing as the mayor of Little Italy it has to be Cha-Cha. Cha-Cha and I go back so far, I even know his real name, … John Ciarcia. But to everyone else in the world, he’s just Chach! And his eponymous restaurant on Mulberry Street, Cha-Cha’s In Bocca Al Lupo, has always been a hangout for bigtime actors, who Chach has worked with, and befriended over the years. Everybody loves the guy!
Cha-Cha and Jeffrey Gurian from Comedy Matters TV hanging out watching the show from the best table at Cha-Cha’s!
One night I popped in and ran into Danny DeVito, with his wife Rhea Perlman. Another night it was Abel Ferrara.
In the video below you’ll see me with Cha-Cha on the red carpet of the Soho Film Festival at an event in honor of actor Frank Vincent, also a regular on The Sopranos.
Cha-Cha’s been in movies, and on TV, and he was one of the regulars on the Wiseguy Show in Sirius Radio, Raw Dog 104, with Vinny Pastore as the host.
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with Vinny Pastore up at The Wiseguy Show on Sirius Radio!
The rest of the cast of The Wiseguy Show with Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV, and guest comic Janice Messitte, ( the pretty blonde girl), next to announcer Brooklyn’s own Joe Causey on the far right!
I was at the premiere of a film he produced called “Men Lie” which was pre-Sopranos that starred people like Frank Vincent, Tony Sirico, Aida Turturro, Michael Imperioli, and Tony Darrow all of whom would become major players on the hit HBO show “The Sopranos”.
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with his old buddy Tony “Paulie Walnuts” Sirico at an event in NYC!
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with actor/director Michael Imperioli at the premiere of his film “Hungry Ghosts” at the Quad Theatre in 2011!
I would always see him and his lovely wife Karen at all the Friars Roasts, and he’d always be backstage in the Green Room with pals like Danny Aiello, or Frank Gia. (Believe it or not, he knows people who aren’t Italian also! (LOL) me being one of them! Although I was cast as the original “Wannabe” in the hit play by Vince Gogliormella, ” Six Goumbahs And A Wannabe.”
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with Cha-Cha at the Friars Roast of Jerry Lewis!
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with Cha-Cha backstage at the Friars Roast for Don King!
The cast of the original “Six Goumbahs and a Wannabe”, and if you look closely in the 2nd row, you’ll see Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV as The Wannabe! (LOL)
He was always a big comedy fan, and now he’s offering comedy shows at Cha-Cha’s on Mulberry Street, three nights a week with well known comics like Jim Mendrinos, Reverend Bob Levy from Howard Stern fame, Angry Bob, Ellen Karis, and a big fave of mine, Geno Bisconte, who I’m happy to say I brought to the attention of The Friars Club when I had him MC my book party for “Filthy, Funny, and Totally Offensive”. The shows are hosted by comic Heather Height and produced by comic David Harris. It’s a really fun time! (And GREAT food, .. needless to say! So if it’s needless to say, why did I say it??? LOLOL)
The Reverend Bob Levy from Howard Stern entertaining the crowd at Cha-Cha’s!
It’s at 113 Mulberry Street, Thursday thru Sunday. Doors open at 9 and the show starts at 9:30. Come and meet me there, and tell Cha-Cha I sent you!
Comedy Central loves Amy Schumer! Come to think of it, everyone loves Amy Schumer! But she can’t call her new pilot for Comedy Central “Everybody Loves Amy” cause it’s already been done by both Ray Romano and Chris Rock!
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with Amy Schumer at Gotham Comedy Club! All I needed was a jaunty Captain’s hat! ( Read further to get that one!)
Amy says that if people like her, it’s because she has a “cabbage patch” look, and we played with her when we were children!
A lot of Amy’s jokes are self-deprecating and about her appearance, and audiences love that. It makes them feel better about themselves which is why many female comics always downplayed their looks over the years. Unfortunately, some of them had no looks to downplay in the first place!
The Bowery Poetry Club is a very cool spot and where Amy Schumer taped material for hew new Comedy Central pilot!
Anyway, I went down to the Bowery Poetry Club in NYC, to see Amy tape some new material for the as yet unnamed pilot she’s doing for Comedy Central. The place was packed to overflowing. They were nice enough to hold two seats for me. Unfortunately they were on someone else’s lap, but we all got along, and it was fine! (LOLOL)
Amy only gets cuter and cuter as her career rises. She says about herself: “Right now, on the hotness scale, I’m right where everybody thinks they have a shot!”
She says, ” People think I’m from the Midwest. I think I look like I milked something recently.” All her jokes seem to have a little sexual edge to them and it works great for her!
She also talks a lot about her Mom, Sandy who was there. She took me backstage to meet her, and they look very much alike. Amy did her best not to call her Mom the “C” word, but she just couldn’t help it!
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV, having a blast backstage interviewing Amy Schumer, after the taping of material for hew new pilot on Comedy Central!
She says she doesn’t like when her Mom brags: ” I can still fit into my wedding dress.” Amy says, ” Who cares! She can still fit into a dress she wore when she was 8 months pregnant. Big deal!”
I always like to meet comic’s Mom’s, especially when they talk about them in their act. Sandy looked like she had a great sense of humor, and for a big career in comedy, you let your daughter call you the “C” word! (LOL)
When Lisa Lampanelli introduced me to HER Mom, she too said she didn’t care. And neither did her Dad who was there in the audience when she referred to him as an ” old, blind bastard!”. Wasn’t that a rapper??? Old Blind Bastard? OBD??? No???
The opening act was Kurt Metzger another comic that everyone loves, despite the fact that he looks nothing like Amy Schumer! Kurt is a wordsmith, and comes up with phrases you don’t hear too often but which are guaranteed to be funny, like when he commented on some guy in the audience sporting a “jaunty Captain’s hat”, which he deemed a real hipster look! ( Now you get the joke above! LOL )
Some words are just funny! They’re “comedy words”! Like, chances are that any joke you write with the words “divining rod” in it will get laughs!
I recently did a fun video interview with Kurt when he was on Anthony Anderson’s 3rd Anniversary Mixtape Comedy Show. You can check that out right here:
And after the taping, Amy was kind enough to spend a few minutes with me to tape a little exclusive video for Comedy Matters TV! And surprisingly enough, that’s right here:
Amy always told me she was grateful for my support and not more than a couple of months ago said to me, “Jeffrey, if I ever get my own show, … you can count on watching it from your living room!”
I know Amy’s show will be a big hit, and I can’t wait to start watching!
Al Martin’s Broadway Comedy always has a good line-up. On any given night you can expect to see names like Mike Vecchione, Kurt Metzger, Nate Bargatze, Ted Alexandro, and several others who are on their way to becoming household names. And every once in a while a major star pops in to do a surprise set. Such was the case when David Spade popped in to prepare for his Letterman spot.
David Spade onstage at Broadway Comedy Club preparing for his Letterman spot!
The audience is always thrilled when that happens, and David is always a crowd pleaser. He was on Letterman plugging his appearance this weekend at the Venetian Showroom in Las Vegas.
David Spade and Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV at a comedy event in Manhattan!
Also at Broadway were two nights of auditions for this years Just For Laughs Festival in Montreal which will be the 30th anniversary. It’s the biggest comedy festival in the world, and everyone who’s anyone in comedy shows up. They even let ME come! (LOL) This year’s lineup should be spectacular!
The night I dropped by I got to see a really talented guy named Brian Scott McFadden. Brian is so talented! He does great characters, voices and can imitate so many accents! Whether he’s doing some nut on the subway going off about his canteloupe, or a brain-damaged boxing coach who repeats every other word he says, his characters are spot-on!
This night he talked about not drinking because he comes from a long line of Irish alcoholics being in Ireland. So when he went to Ireland, and told a bartender he didn’t drink, the guy became incensed! He yelled, ” What do you mean you don’t drink? How would you like it if I had sex with you in front of your grandparents?” To which Brian answered, ” Why is that even an option?”
His observations on what women want, and how trying to figure that out leaves men reacting like a cat following a laser pointer is brilliant, and I don’t use that word lightly! I tried to write some of it down, but it just goes so fast. One tiny example of the juxtapostions of what women want – “They want a strong willed decisive man, who sticks to his guns, yet who’s flexible, open-minded and can admit when he’s wrong.” All I can tell you is that throughout the bit he gets several applause breaks from the audience.
Brian Scott McFadden in the middle of explaining to the men in the audience exactly what women want!
Closing the show was Ricky Velez, who’s very funny, but wore his pants so low, I thought they were about to fall off. I tried to capture it in a photo, but I’m not sure you can tell. They would have been right for a man about 4’10”.
Comic Ricky Velez killing it onstage at Broadway Comedy!
The same Ricky Velez in a rare “pants shot”, wearing pants for a man 4’10”! (LOL)
And coming up on March 1st, The Big Brown Comedy Hour, featuring NYC’s top Arab, Indian, Iranian, Pakistani and other very funny “brown” people!
The show is hosted by The Daily Show’s “Brown” correspondent Aasif Mandvi and features comedians Dean Obeidallah (Comedy Central’s “Axis of Evil”/“The Muslims Are Coming” upcoming documentary), Vidur Kapur (Fox’s “On the Lot”/Logo), Maysoon Zaid (On air Contributor to Current TV’s “Countdown with Keith Olbermann”), Hari Kondabolu (Comedy Central, ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel Live), Mo Na (NY Arab-American Comedy Festival), Nader Uthman, (NY Arab-American Comedy Festival), Narinder Singh, Sameer Naseem, Fariaz Rabbani (NY Comedy Festival) and more, all coming together in a Jewish owned club! Comedy brings everyone together to laugh at themselves!
Broadway Comedy has a great fun menu as well as fun comics. Personally I love laughing while eating Nathan’s hotdogs and fries. They also have White Castle burgers, nachos, hot wings, Junior’s famous cheesecake, and even a double high chocolate cake for two. Fortunately the shows are so good, you laugh off the calories!
Andy Engel produces New Talent showcases at Gotham Comedy Club as he has been doing successfully for many years now. All you have to do is to look at the testimonials on his Manhattan Comedy School page to see how respected he is within the comedy community.
http://www.manhattancomedyschool.com/talent-shows/ This time he produced a comedy seminar open to the public, to anyone with an interest in comedy. I came by to “support”, and was not surprised to see a packed room, and I think the main room at Gotham holds over 300 people. I also saw lots of comedians I knew. The moderator was Gotham owner Chris Mazzilli, who I like to call “The Classiest Guy In Comedy.” Chris has been known to wear a suit and tie to the beach! (JK, … LOL)
Chris Mazzilli and Jeffrey Gurian from Comedy Matters TV at a charity event at Gotham Comedy Club!
Also on the distinguished panel was JoAnn Grigioni, the talent executive from Comedy Central, who I had just seen earlier that day at Amy Schumer’s taping for her new Comedy Central pilot, Conan Smith former agent and now an executive at Apostle Entertainment which is Dennis Leary’s production company, and loved and respected comic Ted Alexandro.
(L-R_ The distinguished panel of Ted Alexandro, Conan Smith, JoAnn Grigioni, and Chris Mazzilli for Andy Engel’s comedy seminar at Gotham!
It was a question and answer session and people got the opportunity to ask whatever they wanted. Questions ranged from how to behave on the road, to how much money you could expect to make as a comic starting out! Ted said he doesn’t think he got paid anything at all the first three years he was performing.
Apostle’s Conan Smith giving a thoughtful answer during the seminar at Gotham Comedy Club!
Comedy Central’s JoAnn Grigioni and Gotham’s Chris Mazzilli listening to Ted Alexandro make a point!
They all agreed that you don’t go into comedy for the money, but that money follows success. Talent finds a home and if you’ve got it, eventually someone’s bound to see it!
Everyone’s answers were honest and insightful. It was a great panel covering all aspects of the comedy world.
I think the seminar was a great idea, people learned a lot and really enjoyed it, and I have a feeling that there will be more of them! Are you listening Andy??? (LOL)
The Grio.com is the first African-American video news site, specifically geared towards bringing stories of interest to that community. Launched by NBC News, it’s editorial mission is to be the primary news source for the Black community on a national level. February is Black History Month and so they are interviewing 100 people who they feel are making a positive effect in the Black community.
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with the great Kevin Hart at a promo event for their show at Westbury in 2010!
One of those people, not surprisingly is comedian Kevin Hart, who jokingly demanded to know what number he was out of the 100. He felt he should be around number 6! (LOL) NBC made arrangements to meet Kevin at The Comic Strip, thanks to Bob Wachs a co-owner and founder of the club.
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV interviewing Kevin Hart at The Comic Strip after his NBC interview with Todd Johnson from www.thegrio.com
It was also very fitting because I had the honor of co-producing an event starring Kevin back in Feb. of 2010, in a benefit for Haiti. It was a sold out event at Westbury Theatre on Long Island, and about 3000 people showed up to see Kevin, Tony Rock, and Wil Sylvince in a tour-de-force, that showed why Kevin is as popular as he is.
The Westbury Flier in a benefit for Haiti starring Kevin Hart, featuring Tony Rock and Wil Sylvince as the MC! It was sold out as are ALL of Kevin’s shows!
Kevin Hart onstage, entertaining 3,000 people at Westbury Theatre on Long Island!
Kevin is one of only a handful of comedians ever to release a live performance as a feature film. That group includes Chris Rock, Eddie Murphy, Eddie Griffin, Martin Lawrence, and maybe three more so he’s in very special company. (Somehow, I think there’s a connection between pigment and funny! LOLOLOL Albinos are rarely funny, … except for Victor Varnado of course! Of all the albino comedians I know, I’d have to say he’s the funniest! LOL)
He put up his own money to release “Laugh At My Pain” in 200 theatres, which is considered a limited release and it’s already brought in millions of dollars. He’s also got 3 million followers on Twitter, about a million more than he had the last time I saw him which wasn’t that long ago! The man is a phenomenon.
I did a little video chat with him for Comedy Matters TV. See below!
So when Nore told me that Tracy Morgan himself, one of the funniest dudes on the planet, asked him to be his “middle” at Carolines, I knew I had to stop by and check it out! I’ve seen Carolines crowded before, but not like this. If they could have stacked tables like bunk beds, they could have filled the place twice. (Bunk tables? I wonder if that would even work? LOL)
Nore Davis facing a packed house and then some for Tracy Morgan’s show at Carolines!
I got there in time to see Nore hit the stage, and he hit it really hard! Huge laughs and the audience absolutely loved him. For a young comic, he has great stage presence. I recently also saw him perform at Russell Simmons’ new stand-up TV show, “Russell Simmons Presents The Ruckus”, which will be airing in February, with J.B. Smoove as the host, and he killed there too! It’s really something exciting to watch, when a big star gives a young comic a shot, and they do well!
Tracy Morgan doing what he does best, … making people laugh, … onstage at Carolines!
Needless to say, ( so if it’s needless to say, then why am I saying it??? LOL) Tracy gave everyone what they were looking for. An hour of hilarity of the kind that only Tracy can bring! Not necessarily the show you’d want to bring your parents to, but a show you’d definitely want to bring your friend or significant other to! They laughed from beginning to end!
Great to see Tracy back in good health again, and engaged to be married to Megan Wallover. We wish them all the best, and a lifetime of Happiness!
He’s definitely a family kind of guy and loves to talk about his kids. I think the first time I met him was back in 2002 up in Montreal at the Just For Laughs Festival.
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with a moustachioed Tracy Morgan back in 2002 at the Just For Laughs Festival in Montreal!
I once went to visit him on the set of 30 Rock, during an episode where he was co-starring with a horse (LOL) and we had a great talk about the importance of family and kids!
Tracy Morgan on the set of 30 Rock, back in ’07, with a guest-starring horse!
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with Tracy Morgan in his dressing room on the set of 30 Rock!
I was with him at the Writers Guild Awards one year –
Tracy Morgan, with Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV at the Writers Guild Awards!
And then again more recently, after he had his kidney surgery, at Anthony Anderson’s Mixtape show at Gotham, where Tracy was a surprise performer!
Tracy Morgan and Jeffrey Gurian from Comedy Matters TV at Anthony Anderson’s Mixtape Comedy Show at Gotham!
Last year I wanted to get him for the Diabetes comedy fund raiser I produced with a killer line-up at The Comic Strip. For whatever reason it didn’t work out, but there’s always this year! Are you listening Tracy!!!
There are so many fun little comedy shows around New York that it’s hard to keep track of them all. When I’m lucky enough to get invited to perform, I go down and check them out. I purposely say, when I’m “lucky” enough to be invited because whether it’s a big show or a small show, it’s always an honor when someone wants you to be a part of their show.
So when Hilary Schwartz invited me to be part of her show at Three of Cups, I jumped at the chance! Three of Cups is a nice little lounge on 5th Street and 1st Avenue. It’s got an intimate setting, like the living room of a large home,(with a bar of course!) LOL, and the room is set up in a cool way that makes it comfortable to perform.
Hilary and David Lee Nelson produce the show and there were some really talented comics performing like Aaron Sweeney, and Jackie Monahan. I meant to ask Aaron what happens if you leave one of the “A’s” out of his name. It would be exactly the same! LOL It’s like, if you spell a word and accidentally leave out a silent letter, does that make the word too loud?
This show is every other Monday night and you should definitely check it out! I hope I get a chance to perform there again!
(L-R) David Lee Nelson, Hilary Schwartz, Jeffrey Gurian, Aaron Sweeney, and Jackie Monahan at Three of Cups!
It seems like just yesterday that we were at The Comic Strip 34th annual holiday party, and here it was again! Most people said this year’s was one of the most fun parties The Strip ever had. The food was great, the place was packed and the show ran like clockwork, except for one comedy video by Modi which we never got to see due to technological problems.
Jeffrey Gurian interviewing owner Richie Tienken at The Comic Strip Holiday party!
Jeffrey Gurian interviewing owner Bob Wachs at the 35th annual Holiday party at The Comic Strip!
I was proud to co-host the party along with owners Richie Tienken and Bob Wachs, and got lots of cool video interviews for Comedy Matters TV with people like Judah Friedlander, Kyle Grooms, Howard Feller who told about being Jon Stewart’s sidekick on an unsuccessful show before Jon got The Daily Show, Dante Nero, Diane Passage from the new reality show “Wall Street Wives”, one of my oldest and dearest friends High Voltage, who talked about her “Energy Up” nutritional/self-esteem program for inner city high school girls, Greer Barnes, Dan Naturman, Eddie Brill, Marina Franklin, Scott Blakeman, Kristen J. Eddy who produces Anthony Anderson’s Mixtape Show, Barry Weintraub, Sherrod Small, and so many more!
World Champion Judah Friedlander of 30 Rock, asking Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV to punch him in the fist as hard as he could to show how he’s impervious to pain! Gurian had to be rushed to the hospital. He said, ” It was like punching a brick wall!”
Howard Feller being interviewed by Jeffrey Gurian for Comedy Matters TV!
“Sexy Fairy” Marina Franklin sharing a laugh with Jeffrey Gurian for Comedy Matters TV!
Producer Kristen J. Eddy at The Comic Strip, talking to Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV about Anthony Anderson’s Mixtape Show!
The beautiful Diane Passage at The Comic Strip telling Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV about her new reality show, “Wall Street Wives.”
Energy Queen High Voltage at The Comic Strip reminiscing with Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV!
The highlight of the party was the show. Shauna Lane opened and closed the show with a musical number. There were a couple of fun videos made by the comics, and then host Ray Ellin, introduced a take-off on Latenight, with a comic named Sean P. Darr playing me as the host, since I host Latenight on Sunday and Monday nights!
It was weird hearing Ray announce, ” And now the Late Show. Please put your hands together for your host Jeffrey Gurian”, … and then another guy came out!
Sean P. Darr as Jeffrey Gurian, onstage “hosting” The Late Show!
I had heard it was going to be done, and was nervous at first as to how I would be portrayed, but everyone told me it was an honor for people to imitate you. And then I realized that it’s also an honor to be Roasted, and this wasn’t going to necessarily be a Roast, just an impression.
Jeffrey Gurian and Richie Tienken interviewing Jeffrey’s doppelganger Sean P. Darr backstage at The Comic Strip!
Sean came out in this wild wig, and dark glasses, which he took off too quickly! But he left them on long enough for me to get a photo of him! He even wore a scarf and a sport jacket just like me! Most of the time I wear three scarves, but I wouldn’t expect him to do that, or even to have that many scarves! (LOL)
He opened with a bunch of my jokes and started out really strong, having memorized them pretty well! I thought it was HILARIOUS, as you’ll see in the video! One comic, Mark Thomas did a great imitation of Adam Cozens, one of the Strip regulars, Sean the bartender did a great Modi from “the hood” which was fantastic because Sean has a lot more pigment than Modi! No one knew that Sean could be so funny. I guess Modi’s act works no matter who does it! (LOL)
Then Jordan Rock came out doing his brother Chris and the audience absolutely loved it. He chose to do the thing about Black people being more racist than White people, because the things that White people don’t like about Black people, Black people don’t like either! And then he went on a diatribe about the difference between Black people and the plural of the “N” word! (LOLOL! You can say it in your mind, as long as you don’t repeat it to anyone!!!)
Jordan Rock capturing the essence of his brother Chris Rock during the Holiday show at The Comic Strip!
The highlight for me was when Andy Pitz came out as Rodney Dangerfield. That was a thrill for me because I loved Rodney and Andy looked and sounded just like him. Rodney was the first big star I ever wrote for and he used to do my jokes on the Tonight Show and in his act. One of the first jokes I ever wrote for him was on his album “No Respect.”
Andy Pitz killing it as Rodney Dangerfield during the holiday party at The Comic Strip!
He said, ” I only get ugly girls. I went out with one girl who was so ugly, I bent down to pet her cat, it was the hair on her legs! She was a very ugly girl.”
Then I wrote jokes for his act. “You know my doctor, Dr. Vinnie Boombotz! I told him my ankles were swollen. He told me to build up my calf muscles and no one would notice! “
“My brother was tough. He was so tough, he got a job in a gas station, … as a jack!”
I remember being so excited when he used one of my lines as his opener with Johnny Carson. His standard opening was ” I’m alright now but last week was rough. Then he followed it up with my line: “I bought one of those whirlpools for my bathtub! The first night I used it I lost three of my best ships!”
Writing for Rodney was one of the most fun times of my life. We used to hang out together in his dressing room at the club. He would usually be in his bathrobe and pajamas which is how he liked to hang out at the club. And not a particularly fancy bathrobe either! He’d say things to me like, ” Hey Jeff, you know the difference between Italians and Jews?” I’d be like, ” No Rodney, what’s the difference?” He said, ” They both take a leak in the sink, but the Jews take the dishes out first!” He was always so hysterical!
Anyway, Andy nailed it. If you closed your eyes, you would have thought Rodney was there. That’s how good he was! Ray Ellin told him to stop wasting his time doing his own act!
The videos I shot will also be used for the documentary film being made on The Strip! Watch the action right here!
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV shooting a promo in front of The Comic Strip right before the 35th annual Holiday party!
Richie and Jeannie Tienken having the best time at The Comic Strip’s 35th annual Holiday party!
The packed room that came to see Sebastian Maniscalco last night at Gotham Comedy Club got an extra little treat, a surprise performance by Jim Gaffigan. After MC Buddy Fitzpatrick’s great warming up of the crowd, which is a rare talent as anyone who’s ever had to warm up a cold crowd can attest to, Jim came on and killed it for ten minutes.
Sebastian Maniscalco destroying the audience on stage at Gotham Comedy Club in NYC!
I’ll never forget when I interviewed Jim for my book, he told me he suffered with severe stage fright for the first six years of his career. You’d certainly never know it and I think of that a lot before I go on stage when I’m feeling a little anxious! You never know what you say to someone that resonates with them and has an affect on their lives.
Jim’s favorite topic seems to revolve around food, and he did a lot of material about McDonalds. Like about how good McDonald’s fries are, but if you try and reheat them in the microwave they become packing peanuts! He even comments on that one loose fry it’s so exciting to find at the bottom of the bag. He calls it “the bonus fry!” It’s always long and you find yourself wondering, ” How did I miss you?”
(L-R) Sebastian Maniscalco, Jim Gaffigan and Gotham owner Chris Mazzilli at Gotham Comedy Club!
He commented on hotels providing stationery, because like me, the moment he checks into a hotel the first thing he likes to do is write a letter!
Next up was Rajiv Satyal, an Indian comic from LA. Russell Peters gave a lot of Indian guys the courage to show they can be funny! (LOL) Rajiv talked about how different ethnicities mispronounce certain sounds in English, like the Asians with “R’s” and “L’s” and the Indians with “V’s” and “W’s”. He went into a Subway looking for a healthy sandwich and the Indian guy behind the counter offered him a “Weggie”, ( pronounced Wedgie!) I think I laughed out loud at that one! Great visual of a guy behind the counter grabbing a customer by the underwear!
Rajiv Satyal on stage at Gotham proving more than one Indian guy can be funny!
Then Sebastian took the stage. The first time I met him was on the Kandy Kruise from LA to Mexico. Five hundred guys and 1500 girls all from Maxim, Playboy and Penthouse. It was sick. and he was one of the “Playboy comics”. Just to get people just to show up for the show at all was a big accomplishment when there’s that many gorgeous girls to look at!
I saw him again this past July in Montreal when he was on Russell Peters’ show “Best of the Fest”, which Russell described as just another night of comedy in LA! (LOL) We were hanging out backstage after the show, where I took the photo below.
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with Sebastian Maniscalco backstage with Russell Peters in Montreal!
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV backstage with Russell Peters at his show in Montreal, “Best of the Fest”!
The thing about Sebastian is that he makes comedy “hip”! Some comics play off their “lameness”, but Sebastian is cool. He slips into his Jersey Shore Italian voice, when he’s talking about the dancing and meeting girls on the club scene, and almost becomes Vinnie Barbarino, for those of you who remember John Travolta in those days. he’s so relaxed, and very physical which I never expect him to be. He dances around and often acts out his material, which is great! Most of the time, I stand there like I’m nailed to the stage! (LOL)
He started out talking about Customer Service at the airport, and how the people who work there look upset that you even showed up to fly. And what if your bag happens to be four pounds over the weight limit? They make you take four pounds of clothing out? And where are you supposed to put it? In your carry-on! It’s still going on the plane!!!
That actually happened to me, but it was about ten pounds I had to take out. Unlike most people, I don’t often travel with a clothing scale, so I’m guessing on the weight of each thing while people are walking by and I’m frantically grabbing things out of my bag and mentally weighing them! Trust me, it’s only funny afterwards!
He’s always busy, so he wonders about these people that have the time to demonstrate in the street, or to show up every day to follow a trial like the Michael Jackson trial. ” Whatta youse people do when there’s no trial? You got nothin’ else to do?
He even talks about “kids these days” without sounding like a comic from the Ed Sullivan days. If his father took him and his family out to eat there was no such thing as saying you didn’t like the food. “Chicken and broccoli? One look from his father and he’d be like, ” Don’t worry, I’ll get it down.” These days kids complain they don’t like the menu, and a Mom might say something like, “Timmy, is that a good choice?”
But when he talked about his Dad not being too tech savvy and he was trying to guide him onto the internet over the phone, that was hysterical! Especially when his Dad asked what to do with the foot pedal! He had put the mouse on the floor trying to work it with his foot! Sebastian had to tell him, ” It’s not a sewing machine Dad, it’s a computer!”
I hope I get to see him again soon! He was really great!
I just got the sad news that Patrice Oneal left us last night. He’s been on my mind every day since I heard he had a stroke on Oct. 19th. Mortality is always a weird concept to try and grasp. To think that one day you’re suddenly not here anymore is a sobering thought. When it happens to someone old you kind of expect it. When it happens to someone young who you know it shakes you to the core.
Patrice Oneal at Carolines back in 2002! He looked like a baby version of himself!
Patrice had so many friends in the comedy community and I’m proud to say I was one of them. Patrice was like a comedy philosopher. I respected his intelligence. He had a well thought out philosophy. And I respected his allegiance to his style and his choice of material. He wouldn’t bend to those who asked him to change his style, or to soften things up a little bit. He had to be who he was. I used to love watching him work. He’d take the stage, sit on a stool, and just pontificate.
Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV with honored guest Patrice Oneal at a comedy workshop that Jeffrey was giving at Gotham Comedy Club!
One year I was honored as part of Black History Month for creating comedy workshops for inner city kids. It was a beautiful event at Hunter College. The workshops were held at Gotham Comedy Club and one of my honored guests was Patrice Oneal. He took the stage and held court for a while as was his style. He was only supposed to do a short set, but he was so kind, and the crowd loved him so much, he just kept on going. He even did a Q & A afterwards and posed for photos will all who asked.
When I did my book “Filthy, Funny and Totally Offensive” I knew I could count on Patrice to give me some killer jokes. I had written jokes for the Friars Roasts for many years and was asked by journalist Tripp Whetsell, to do a book on celebs favorite nasty jokes. I got 250 celebs to tell me nasty, nasty shit! Paul Provenza wrote the foreward to the book, and Patrice had one of the longest entries. I gave him a full two pages, where most comics had one joke. And I kept a bookmark on Patrice’s page so when people came to my house, I showed them Patrice’s jokes as a representation of what to expect.
He began by asking women,” How would you keep your man if you didn’t have a pu**y? Say there was a terrible train accident, and the doctor was like, ” We gotta remove your pu**y right away or you’re gonna die.” How would you keep your man past the three months of like, ” I can’t leave the bitch, cause she just lost her pu**y in a train accident!” It goes on and on and gets funnier as you go. Only Patrice knew how to pull off material like that!
He also described weird sexual techniques that he felt Black men needed to learn from White men,including “The Fishhook”, “The Blumpkin”, “The Omelet”, “The Donkey Punch”, “The Fish Eye”, “The Chicken Cutlet”, “Puff The Magic Dragon”, “The Angry Pirate”, “The Houdini”, and last but not least “The Spider Man.” It’s all in the book.
After I did my first Black Phillip Show with him, which was part of Opie and Anthony’s “Virus” he was so jazzed about how we performed together he left me this really sincere, and meaningful message on my phone at 4 A.M. I can’t tell you how much it meant to me to be respected comedically by someone like Patrice!
Patrice Oneal in “pimp-style” with Opie from Opie and Anthony backstage at Gotham Comedy Club!
Patrice Oneal, Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters TV, and Dante Nero at The Black Phillip Show in 2008!
He asked me to be his co-host along with Dante Nero, not only because we were funny together but because he said I was the only white man he ever met who knew all the words to “Bitch Betta Have My Money”, a hip-hop classic from AMG from back in 1992. It happened to be his theme song.
He loved when I brought “hot” girls on the show which I did each time I came on. Dante said I had magical powers and he and Patrice named me a “Level 12 Pimp”, a title I wore proudly, because they meant it with the kind of respect one guy gives another when they brag about how crazy their friend is!
(L-R) Dante Nero, Catherine Leak, Drew Boogie, Dawn Leak, Jeffrey Gurian, Carlotta Butler, and Patrice Oneal in the studio at The Black Phillip Show!
Patrice always liked when I brought beautiful girls on the show. This time I brought Jacqueline Beaulieu, my muse at the time, straight from a fashion show runway, with Patrice Oneal, me, and Dante Nero at The Black Phillip Show!
The last time I saw him was on September 27th when he came to The Comic Strip to be one of the judges on The Lottery Show. He had been asked by host Sherrod Small, and when Sherrod told him on stage how much he appreciated it, Patrice said, ” You better appreciate it motherfucker!” I’m so glad I got the chance to catch up with him, and get some video and photos with him as I always did when I saw him.
(L-R) Jordan Rock, Robert Kelly, Patrice Oneal, and Paul Mecurio judging The Lottery Show at The Comic Strip on 9/27/11!
When I heard what condition his stroke had left him in and that he was only able to blink his eyes but yet still had his consciousness, which meant he was aware of what was happening, I thought to myself, no one deserves that kind of a nightmare. This is only my opinion. I have no way of knowing. But I think that no matter how much Patrice loved his wife Von, and his Mom Gloria, and I know he loved them with all his heart, he wouldn’t let himself live in that kind of condition. Patrice did things HIS way! I could see him willing himself to leave the planet, rather than stay in that kind of helpless state.
Opening act and close Patrice friend, Harris Stanton, Vondecarlo ( Patrice’s wife), and Patrice Oneal backstage at The Skirball Center after taping a Comedy Central special!
Harris Stanton, Jeffrey Gurian, and Patrice Oneal backstage at The Skirball Center after the taping of Patrice’s Comedy Central special!
In any case, I know he knew he was loved, and I hope he knew how much he’ll be missed! I’m very, very sad right now!
R.I.P. my friend! And thank you for all of your kindnesses!!!
In honor of Patrice, Comedy Central will be re-airing his one hour special tonight, Wed. 11/30, “The Elephant In The Room” with an edited version at 8 P.M. and an unedited version at midnight.
See the previous Comedy Matters post on Patrice for more photos and video – http://wp.me/p1pHIm-Aj
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