Archive for Red Carpet Events

Frank Vincent from The Sopranos Honored at Soho International Film Fest


Goodfellas came out in 1990.  That was 21 years ago, and I don’t think anyone who ever saw the film will ever forget actor Frank Vincent’s line as Billy Batts to Joe Pesci’s character Tommy DeVito, ” Go home and get your shinebox.” Just hearing that line, and knowing Tommy’s hair trigger temper sends chills through most people.  Billy Batt’s paid for that line with his life.

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Jeffrey Gurian with Frank Vincent at the Soho International Film Festival event in Frank’s honor!

As Phil Leotardo in The Sopranos, Frank got whacked in the last episode, standing in a gas station kissing his grandchildren goodbye, and fell under the wheel of his daughter’s car, which rolled over his head.  Another Frank Vincent scene indelibly etched in the minds of whoever saw it.

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Jeffrey Gurian with Frank Vincent at the Gen Art Film Festival back in 2006!

Frank Vincent’s presence on the big screen is so powerful that of all the guys who play gangsters, to me he stands out as one of the scariest. ( A definite compliment! )  So to find out that he started out as a comic was both startling and thrilling to me.  He actually did stand-up with Joe Pesci.  Pesci killed him in Goodfellas and he returned the kindness, and killed Joe Pesci in Casino.

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Jeffrey Gurian with director John Gallagher, who’s also on the Advisory Board of the Soho International Film Festival, and who produced the event in honor of Frank Vincent!

Frank was honored by the Soho International Film festival in a fantastic evening produced by award-winning film director John Gallagher, who will be working with Frank in an upcoming film called Fickle, written by Ryan O’Callaghan who was there to walk the red carpet with John and Frank.

All of Frank’s friends came out to support him including some of his Sopranos cast members.  There was John “Cha Cha” Ciarcia, sometimes known as “The Mayor Of Little Italy”, who played Albie Cianflone, (and who couldn’t believe I remembered the name of his character), Tony (Paulie Walnuts) Sirico, and TV and film actress Sharon Angela, who memorably played Rosalie Aprile, on the hit HBO show, where during the 6th season she was elevated from a guest star to a series regular.

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Jeffrey Gurian and Tony Sirico in James Edstrom’s column that was also on Page 6 of the NY Post where Tony (Paulie Walnuts) Sirico showed Jeffrey how real men take photos together, … with a fist through the other guy’s arm!

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There were also lots of beautiful women there from all over the world, in the film business and not.  I met two from The Philippines, Ida and Lisa, who were there to honor Frank and also had their own film in the festival.

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(L-R) Lisa and Ida who came all the way from The Philippines for the Soho Film Festival!

And just to play it safe, I brought my own beautiful woman, (LOL) Lauren Francesca, the internet sensation known for playing Lady Gaga in The Key of Awesome films, ( www.thekeyofawesome.com) and who starred in two short films I created for her, “Besame Mucho’s Academy of Oral Skills”

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Jeffrey Gurian and Lauren Francesca on the red carpet of the Soho International Film Festival!

and “The Magic Of Transforminol” about a magic pill that guys can take called “Transforminol” that makes their girlfriends look like Lauren.

 
The thing about Frank Vincent is that he’s nothing like what he looks like which makes his performance even more powerful.  In his own words, he’s a nice guy, and he is.  But he told a story that was so chilling it affected everyone in the audience.

He was saying how many people think they’re really gangsters when they’re really just Italian-American actors, but one night he walked into a restaurant and there was a real mob boss there who called him over to his table to say hello.

Frank’s group was then seated near this mob boss close enough for Frank to hear him mention something about Hollywood, which caused Frank to toss out a remark.  With that the mob boss called him over to the table and in front of everyone there told Frank he had a lot of nerve barging in on his conversation, and as Frank phrased it, “He’d leave him standing right where he was, if he ever did that again.”  Frank’s point in that story was well taken.

Frank is a good actor which is why he knows how to act like a gangster.  A good actor has feelings.  Real gangsters don’t.

John Gallagher is on the advisory board of the Soho International Film Festival and works directly with Sibyl Santiago, the director of the festival, who was incredibly helpful to me in getting this story done.  She made sure that I got to speak to everyone I wanted to see.

Aside from directing John also teaches acting, and among other places taught for five years at the prestigious Neighborhood Playhouse on East 54th Street in Manhattan, the school where Sanford Meisner taught for more than 50 years.  I even took the summer program there one year because as a director, I thought it behooved me to understand the acting process as much as possible.  It was a fantastic experience.

I’m hoping that John will be directing a film that I wrote that he fell in love with called “Men of Violence.”  It’s a gangster/martial arts/action film with lots of comedy.

The comedy is real, as is the violence, in the style of Pulp Fiction.  It’s about a plastic surgeon who is obsessed with violence.  He studies martial arts and carries a gun.  When he accidentally kills a mob boss’ son protecting his wife during a mob hit in a restaurant, he has to become the baddest man on the planet in order to save his own life and the lives of his family.

All we have to do now is raise the money!  ( Maybe Kickstarter?)  The cast we don’t have to worry about.  Between John and myself we know every gangster/actor in the business!

Check out Jeffrey on the red carpet for Frank Vincent!

http://youtu.be/IBZuWCG0Mm8

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Michael Imperioli Presents His Film "The Hungry Ghosts" at the Soho International Film Festival

Michael Imperioli Presents His Film "The Hungry Ghosts" at the Soho International Film Festival


When director John Gallagher ( Blue Moon, The Deli) called me and told me he was on the advisory Board of the Soho International Film Festival and that Michael Imperioli would be showing a new film that he wrote and directed called ” The Hungry Ghosts”, I was like, ” Count me in.”  Any time I get a chance to see a Michael Imperioli project I jump at it.

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Michael Imperioli is a great, great talent and one of the most humble guys in the business.  The testament to his talent is how unlike he is to the character he might be best known for, Christopher Moltisanti, Tony Soprano’s nephew in The Sopranos.

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Jeffrey Gurian with Michael Imperioli back in his Sopranos days at a fundraising event!

I was an ardent Soprano fan, and knowing Michael for quite a while, and always seeing him as a quiet, gentle, introspective kind of person, I was shocked to see how easily he came to playing such a violent character.  That’s when I realized what it means to be a talented actor.  When you can leave your own personna and actually become the person in the script.

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Steve Schirripa, Jeffrey Gurian, and Tony Sirico at a fundraising event at Marquee in NYC!

The Hungry Ghosts is a fascinating film, written and directed by Michael, in his directorial debut, and he was joined in the script by four of his Sopranos castmates, Steve Schirripa, who stars as Frank, John Ventimiglia, Vince Curatola, and Sharon Angela.

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Jeffrey Gurian and John Ventimiglia at an event at Studio Dante, Michael’s old acting school and theatre.

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Steve Schirripa is absolutely fantastic as Frank,  a drunk, and drug addict whose life is spiraling out of control, and who can’t seem to be there for the son he loves, and who’s suffering because Frank can’t open up to him.

Other stand-outs in the cast are Nick Sandow and the beautiful, and talented Aunjanue Ellis who I had met previously through director Bill Duke from his movie Cover.

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Sharon Angela and Nick Sandow during the Q&A after the film at the Quad Cinema!

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Aunjanue Ellis during the Q & A for the movie Cover, directed by Bill Duke!

Aunjanue plays a great role in this film, and somehow Michael managed to take four characters, four diverse stories and magically weave them into one story where the characters actually meet in a scene at the end.  Very difficult to do, and very well done!

Michael was surprised to see me during the Q&A and I caught up with him afterwards to congratulate him on the film, and to shoot a little personal video with him, which he was kind enough to do.  Check it out here!

The movie can be seen on Hulu in it’s entirety at  http://www.hulu.com/watch/225008/the-hungry-ghosts

 

 

 

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Phil Rosenthal Brings Exporting Raymond To The Friars Club

Phil Rosenthal Brings Exporting Raymond To The Friars Club


Phil Rosenthal created and Exec. Produced one of the most successful sit-coms of all time, “Everybody Loves Raymond” starring Ray Romano, which ran on CBS from Sept. 13, 1996 until May 16, 2005.

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It was a comedic masterpiece often based on true stories from both Ray and Phil’s own lives.  Then Phil got the call from Sony that Russia would be interested in doing it’s own version of “Raymond”, and wanted him to go over to Russia to make that happen. Most people plan to bring a camera with them when they travel. Phil had the presence of mind to bring a camera crew with him, and if nothing else it lead to this hysterically funny documentary called “Exporting Raymond” which opens in theatres nationally on April 29th, 2011.

It’s the story of Phil’s trials and tribulations in adapting “Raymond” for a Russian audience, and how he barely escaped with his sanity intact. Not knowing what to expect in preparing for his trip, he was a little disturbed when someone suggested he take out K&R insurance, especially when he found out that “K & R” stands for Kidnapping and Ransom. He was assigned a bodyguard named Eldar, who became a friend, and it was only at the end of his stay that Eldar admitted to him that Sony didn’t go for “the gun package.” In other words, Eldar was depending upon his hand-to-hand skills to keep Phil out of harm’s way.

At the screening, I asked Phil, how much could the gun package have cost that Sony decided to pass on it? He himself was stymied by that question, and I am stymied as to why I used the word “stymied.” It’s such a weird, almost frightening word!

Phil and I discussed whether they may have looked into the knife package or maybe the brass knuckle package, or did they just decide that Phil wasn’t worth any package at all??? Phil said after meeting his Russian counterparts, the fear of being kidnapped was replaced by the fear of what they might do to his show! One woman, the costume designer was intent on turning it into a fashion show with the actors wearing evening clothes you’d wear for a night out on the town, as if anyone, especially a blue-collar family, would lounge around the house dressed like that.

They also tried to convince Phil that men were more manly over in Russia, and wouldn’t be so concerned about pleasing their wives, like Ray Barone was in the USA version of the show. The Russians also felt that Russian men would not relate to the way Ray was treated by both his wife and his mother and that it made him look like a weakling. Phil didn’t go for it because he said that he doesn’t believe that men are the boss in their homes anywhere in the world.

Despite the Russian’s best efforts, Phil’s adaptation was successful, and he was able to help cast it and make it funny. So not only did he escape from Russia with his sanity, he wound up with a funny, entertaining and fascinating film, which just happens to be his film directing debut. I’m sure it will be the first of many.

However he did have the sense to turn down the “opportunity” to bring “Raymond” to Poland and Egypt! (LOL)

Here in New York it will be opening at the Angelika and at the Loew’s Lincoln Square theatre on Broadway and 68th Street. This is a movie you have to see.

Charlie Prince is the force behind the Friars Club Film Festival, and once a month, he brings great films to be viewed at special Friars Club screenings. Recently he brought the very funny “Peep World” starring Sarah Silverman, Rainn Wilson and Ben Schwartz, that I wrote about in a previous blog. Both Sarah and Ben showed up at The Friars to do a Q&A.

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Ben Schwartz and Sarah Silverman at the Q&A for Peep World at The Friars Club.

This time, for “Exporting Raymond” there was such a big crowd that the club had to show it across the street in the beautiful screening room of The Core Club, another very exclusive club with which The Friars has an arrangement. I wound up walking in with the General Manager of The Friars Club Michael Caputo, who is always on hand to make sure everything goes smoothly.

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(L-R) Charlie Prince, John Woldenberg, and Phil Rosenthal at the Friars Club screening of Exporting Raymond!

As I mentioned, Phil Rosenthal was there of course, along with his Executive Producer John F. Woldenberg, a really nice guy, who was very accommodating in the writing of this story.

When Phil was introduced after the film ended, I was sitting in the front row with an old friend, legendary film animator Bill Plympton, who has an animated film coming out called “Idiots and Angels”, a black comedy that he did with Terry Gilliam of Monty Python fame.

Phil who happens to be very funny, (which helps if you’re creating and producing comedies), didn’t notice me sitting there, until someone asked him if he ever did stand-up. He said he tried it years ago, and then asked if there were any stand-ups in the audience. When I raised my hand and he saw me he was surprised he hadn’t noticed me, and gave me a gracious hello.

The last time I had seen him was last summer in Montreal when he was showing “Exporting Raymond” at the Just For Laughs Festival, and I was showing the trailer for “Eat, Drink. Laugh” the documentary Richie Tienken and I were working on about the 35 year history of his comedy club “The Comic Strip,” Exec. Produced by Chris Rock.

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The film poster for Exporting Raymond that was in the street in Montreal, where it was shown in the Just For Laughs Festival in 2010!

It was a chance meeting in the street when Phil was on his way to his showing, with John Woldenberg, and I was on my way to mine. I had also happened to have the photo with me of Ray Romano, myself and Michael Bolton from when I brought Michael to the set of “Everybody Loves Raymond” several years back, maybe 1998, courtesy of the other Exec. Producer of Raymond and Ray Romano’s manager, Rory Rosegarten.

When I interviewed Ray for the book and the film we’re doing, I brought that old photo to remind him and we took another photo of us holding it.

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Ray Romano and Jeffrey Gurian at The Comic Strip holding the photo of Ray, Jeffrey and Michael Botlon taken when Jeffrey brought Michael Bolton to the set of Everybody Loves Raymond to meet Ray Romano!.

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Phil was kind enough to sit with me for a while to do this great little interview for my readers of Comedy Matters. Check it out right here! And go see the film on April 29th! I would tell you to go even before April 29th, but you wouldn’t get to see anything, so wait till April 29th and run out and see it immediately!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NVbpuBCYXo

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Diabetes Fundraiser Sold-Out Success-Article In Manhattan Blog

Diabetes Fundraiser Sold-Out Success-Article In Manhattan Blog


This past week I co-produced a sold out comedy fundraiser to fight Diabetes at the legendary comedy club The Comic Strip with my partner, Richie Tienken owner and founder of the club. The club was packed to hear comedy from the first lady of comedy Elayne Boosler, Eddie Brill from Letterman, Goumba Johnny the afternoon host of WKTU, national headliners Jim Mendrinos, Louis Ramey, and Jeff Pirrami from The Friars Club, Chuck Nice from VH1 and the host of The Hot 10 on Centric TV, Sherrod Small from VH1’s Best Week Ever, Harrison Greenbaum, the winner of The Andy Kaufman Award and one of Comedy Central’s “Top 10 Comics To Watch”, and even I did a little surprise spot.

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(L-R) Richie Tienken, Elayne Boosler, and Jeffrey Gurian at The Comic Strip to fight Diabetes.

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(L-R) JR Ravitz, GM of The Comic Strip, who also holds the auditions for the club, with host/MC Jim Mendrinos.

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Jeffrey Gurian with fantastic host/MC Jim Mendrinos!

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The incredibly straight Harrison Greenbaum with comedy writer/producer Jeffrey Gurian at The Strip.

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(L-R) Harrison Greenbaum, Eddie Brill, Goumba Johnny, Jeff Pirrami, Elaine Boosler, and Jim Mendrinos in a rare group picture at the bar during the Diabetes fundraiser!

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(L-R) Jon Fisch, Chuck Nice, and Harrison Greenbaum backstage waiting to go on at The Strip!

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(L-R) A newly svelte Eddie Brill, Jeffrey Gurian, a newly svelte Jim Mendrinos, Richie TIenken, Louis Ramey, and an ALWAYS svelte Leighann Lord!

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Sean and Jessica Mannion manning the new Sony VG-10 Hi Def camera during the show!

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In the audience was a journalist named Rachel Wilgoren who writes for the Manhattan lifestyle site Nearsay, ( http://www.nearsay.com) and I thought it was good enough to send around to my peeps.

Check it out at this link!

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Click on this photo to see the article in Nearsay

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Preview Video of Red Carpet of Comedy Central First Annual Comedy Awards Airing Tonight


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hy0OFTPetHM
I got to cover the red carpet for one of Comedy Central’s most exciting nights, the first annual Comedy Awards at The Hammerstein Ballroom on West 34th Street in Manhattan.

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This is the first ever multi-network, multi-platform event dedicated to honoring and celebrating the world of comedy, and it’s not a moment too soon!  People are being funny at an ever increasing rate.  Soon the entire planet will be absolutely hysterical, …  except for certain unnamed countries where laughing is still considered a crime!

The event airs Sunday, April 10th at 9 P.M.  simultaneouly across MTV Networks, Comedy Central, Spike TV, TV Land, VH1, and Nick at Nite.  In other words you have to try hard to miss this show.  If you miss this show, it is obvious that you are determined not to have a good time in your life.

The show will honor not only stand-ups but also writers, directors, sit-coms and just about everything and anyone who ever made you smile!  The talent was amazing.  Bruce Willis presented an award, and for some reason grabbed himself during the presentation!

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Bruce Willis looking all over for his wallet, while presenting an award!

As I got set up on the red carpet, with my assistant Sean Mannion manning my new Sony VG Hi-Def camera and my Sennheiser mic with the Comedy Matters flag, and the wireless set-up, (LOL) I noticed that Christian Finnegan was hosting the red carpet.  When I went over to congratulate him, he played it off very humbly, but I convinced him it was a great honor.

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Jeffrey Gurian holding his brand new Sennheiser mic with Comedy Matters flag, while talking to Dylan Gadino, CEO of Punchline Magazine on the red carpet.

Aileen Budow ran the red carpet very efficiently as she always does with the help of Eve Kenny.

I got to interview Jon Stewart who I had not seen in a long time, and who acknowledged that fact on camera, Will Ferrell, Olivia Munn, The Gregory Brothers, Mark DuPlass who wrote, produced and directed Cyrus, and who was there with his beautiful actress wife Katie Aselton, Craig Robinson, and Louis CK who I got to congratulate for being honored this coming summer in Montreal as Comedy Person of the Year.  Many of them did a little promo for Comedy Matters. Check it out here!

 

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Jeffrey Gurian and Craig Robinson hanging out after the award show.

 

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Louis CK either giving me the finger, or telling the cops it was me who did it, on the red carpet of the Comedy Central Comedy Awards.

This night, he was up for “Breakthrough Performer” against Aziz Ansari, Ty Burrell, Whitney Cummings, Danny McBride, Emma Stone, Daniel Tosh, and Kristen Wiig, and if you promise not to tell anyone, I’ll confide in you that he won!  Do you promise?  If not, I won’t tell you!

I also got to see one of my favorites Kristen Schaal who recently hosted the Writers Guild Awards, and who for whatever reason, didn’t answer an e-mail I sent her telling her I was coming to see her.
She said that Nick Kroll had mentioned to her that I said “Kristen didn’t answer me”, and she was so sweet, and apologized, and I told her next time I’m sending her two e-mails at a time to make sure she sees it! 

Kristen Wiig’s handler got so upset that I didn’t recognize Kristen that she didn’t bring her over to talk to me.  For some reason Kristen looked different to me that day, but I was surprised her PR person would react that way. Maybe she was a little stressed?

The Roots came over to chat, mainly because they told me they dug my hair! Those are guys who are not afraid to express themselves through their hairstyles, especially Questlove!

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Jeffrey Gurian with Questlove and The Roots complimenting each other on their respective hairstyles!

I explained to them my theory that most men wear their hair like they’re embarrassed for having any.  Almost like an apology.  Sorry I have hair.  I’ll try and wear it in a way you don’t notice.  Let’s see, is this short enough, and non-descript enough for you???

Jimmy Fallon was out of town, but they were “representing” as the house band for the show.

I had been waiting patiently on the red carpet hoping to see Tracy Morgan who was there to present Eddie Murphy with the Comedy Icon Award.

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Tracy told me he would try to make an appearance at my Diabetes Comedy Fundraiser, “Laugh at Diabetes” on April 14th at The Comic Strip but when I called him to confirm, his number had changed, and I couldn’t get the new one.

I stood on the red carpet freezing my butt off cause I took off my coat so everyone could see my nice tux ( it was Black Tie!), and just as I walked away to get my coat to warm up for a minute Tracy breezed right on by.  Sean tried to alert me, but it was too late, and I never got to find Tracy in the madness that ensued afterwards.  Very frustrating!

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Jeffrey Gurian with Tracy Morgan at Anthony Anderson’s Mixtape Show at Gotham!

So if any of you know how to reach Tracy, please ask him to contact me about this coming Thursday, April 14th at 8 P.M. at The Comic Strip at 1568 Second Avenue between 81st and 82nd Street.  Tracy himself is battling Diabetes which is why I was hoping he’d make an appearance.

Also there was Bill Murray, who presented an award to David Letterman who was actually there to accept it, TIna Fey, Ricky Gervais, Jon Cryer, who was crying about what happened with Charlie Sheen, Stephen Colbert who threw everyone else from The Daily Show off the stage so he could “faux rant” about Jon Stewart, Alec Baldwin, who received an award from Kick-Ass’s Chloe Moretz… I mean nobody but Comedy Central gets all these people to show up!

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Bill Murray making a point at the Comedy Awards!

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Jon Cryer lamenting the fate of Two and a Half Men while presenting!

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Chloe Moretz of Kick Ass presenting an award to Alec Baldwin!

One of the coolest things happened when I ran into my old buddy James Dixon of Dixon Talent.  I know James from his days as an agent at William Morris when he used to pal around with another agent named Mike August.  James has become a powerhouse in entertainment and opened Dixon Talent where he manages some of the biggest names in comedy like John Stewart and Stephen Colbert to name just two.

After the show, James and I were catching up when Jon Stewart came by, and James said to Jon, ” You know Jeffrey Gurian right?”  And Jon said, ” Sure I do.”  And then James himself was kind enough to snap a photo of Jon and I, since my assistant Sean had to leave early to celebrate his wife Jessica’s birthday!  Besides being an amazing manager, James takes a good photo, don’t you think???

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Jeffrey Gurian with Jon Stewart after the Comedy Awards. Photo taken by Jon’s manager James Dixon.

I’ll be writing more about this exciting event in the days that follow but this will give you a little preview of what to expect.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Look Who Reads Comedy Matters-Richard Lewis, Jon Stewart, Lisa Lampanelli & So Many More!!!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iND46TXzdk4

I’ve been doing so many red carpets lately and am thrilled to see how many big stars read “Comedy Matters.”  if you don’t believe me, watch for yourself, ( and then tell everyone you know!  Even if they’re sleeping.  Wake them up and tell them! Even if they’re very tired.  Trust me, they’ll be grateful!)

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Lisa Lampanelli with Jeffrey at The Donald Trump Roast after telling Jeffrey she reads Comedy Matters every time she forgets to delete it! (LOLOLOL)

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Jeffrey Gurian Documentary Reel with A-List Comics and Film Stars

This documentary reel about me was shot as a pre-cursor to a proposed TV project that I would host, taking the viewers “behind the scenes” in the comedy world, the film world and behind the velvet ropes of New York nightlife, all places where I have strong connections.

In this reel you will see great comics from late night TV like Ted Alexandro from Comedy Central, Letterman, Conan O’Brien, & Jimmy Kimmel, Jon Fisch from Last Comic Standing, VH1 and Comedy Central, Macio from The Chapelle Show, Uptown Comedy Club, & Comedy Central, Goumba Johnny, afternoon host  from WKTU, 103.5 FM, film stars Marisa Tomei, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Ethan Hawke, Jason Statham, John Leguizamo, Vincent Pastore, Chris Meloni, Kal Penn, Sidney Lumet, Guy Ritchie, nightlife and TV legends Wass, Noel Ashman, and Countess LuAnn DeLesseps from Real Housewives of New York City, and Camille Grammer from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Please watch and feel free to leave a comment, and/or share it with your friends.  Thanks!!!

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Preview Video On The Red Carpet of Tonight's Comedy Central Donald Trump Roast

Jeffrey Gurian of Comedy Matters was on the red carpet at the taping of Comedy Central’s Roast of Donald Trump, taping the arrivals and speaking with Roasters Jeffrey Ross, Lisa Lampanelli, Anthony Jeselnik, Whitney Cummings, Snoop Dogg, Marlee Matlin,and guests like comic/TV host Amy Schumer, Actor Ice-T and his wife Coco, Russell Simmons, and even MTV President Doug Herzog.  And Gilbert Gottfried was the surprise guest! This is a follow-up to an earlier story posted last week.

Watch the Roast and leave a comment below letting me know what you thought of it, who was the best Roaster, and what jokes you liked best and I’ll feature my favorite comments on the blog! Thanks!!!

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Comedy Central's Donald Trump Roast


Last night at Manhattan Center on West 34th Street Comedy Central went all out on the Roast of Donald Trump. Even The Donald said they paid him a lot of money to encourage him to subject himself to another Roast, after he survived the one from The Friars Club.

He’s donating all the money to charity. I happened to see him just before the Friars Roast and he asked me,” Do you think I’ll be able to handle it?” And I said to him, ” Donald, if anyone can it’s YOU!”

So it was candy-filled gold coins, gold balloons on the ceiling, gold lame pillow cushions wherever you sat. It was all about money and rightfully so when you’re talking about The Donald, one of the most well known billionaires on the planet.

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Donald Trump making a point at his Comedy Central Roast.

As you might imagine it drew a star studded audience, starting with Doug Herzog who you will see me talking to in the video that’s coming in the next few days. Doug is currently serving as President of MTV Networks Entertainment Group. Among other things, he is credited with bringing South Park, The Daily Show, and The Colbert Report to Viacom’s Comedy Central, and he’s a good friend of my buddy Richie Tienken, who owns The Comic Strip, which is how I met Doug, when he came to an event at The Strip.

 

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RIchie Tienken, Doug Herzog, and Bob Wachs at The Comic Strip

On the dais were Whitney Cummings, Snoop Dogg, Anthony Jeselnik, Larry King, Lisa Lampanelli, Marlee Matlin, Mike ” The Situation” Sorrentino, and Jeffrey Ross. Also in attendance were Ivanka Trump, Russell Simmons, John Legend, Donald’s beautiful wife Melania, and Comedy Central executive, V.P. JoAnn Grigioni.

Aileen Budow, the head of press, was in charge of running the red carpet which she did so well, ( as always!) and was helped by newcomer to Comedy Central,  Eve Kenny.

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JoAnn Grigioni, Jeffrey Gurian, and Jeffrey Ross at the after-party for the Trump Roast at Gotham Hall

I was hoping to see my buddy Don Trump Jr. who once told me that he appreciated the fact that when I wrote about him, I didn’t write anything snarky.

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The beautiful Melania Trump enjoying seeing her husband Donald taking a severe beating!

I explained to him that I only like to put positive energy out to the world. There’s enough negative energy out there without me having to add to it, and that led to us becoming friends.

One night at an event where his father was present, he suggested to me that I don’t do something I was planning to do. I have this thing where I like to go up to a very rich man, and in the process of thanking him for something, fold a dollar into his hand as if I was giving him a tip. They call it ” palming” the guy. Something you might do to a doorman, not a billionaire. And it always strikes me funny, and after the initial shock of being tipped a single dollar, they usually think it’s funny too.

So when I told Don Jr. I wanted to do that to his Dad, he cautioned me against it. He said he wasn’t sure how well it would go over, and I took his word for it, and didn’t do it. Every once in a while, I listen to another person. Not often, … but every once in a while.

Anyway, when I write about comedy shows or performers, if I don’t like what you do, I just don’t write about it. I don’t write negative things, because as a performer myself, I really respect how hard it is for anyone to get out on stage and try to make people laugh. Some people just do it better than others. But it’s basically the hardest thing in the world to do.

I saw a well known performer at the South Beach Comedy Festival last year who did a show that actually made me angry. That’s how much I hated it. But when I wrote my column, I bit my tongue and didn’t mention it at all. His audience seemed to like it, but I thought it was so bad I actually left in a bad mood, and it stayed with me for a while.

That being said, Mike ‘The Situation” Sorrentino found himself in a very difficult situation to say the least. Having to compete with hardened, experienced comics is basically impossible, but he kept laughing through the whole, painful thing, which is how I am characterizing his set. You have to give the guy credit for even attempting something so difficult.

Finally Jeffrey Ross jumped up and gave him a few pointers on camera. I’m sure that will be edited out, as will a good portion of the Sitch’s performance. I wonder if he used the Comedy Central writers.  I ran into two of them, Kevin Schini and my buddy Jesse Joyce.

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Roast writers Kevin Schini (L) and my buddy Jesse Joyce.

it was so great to see Lisa Lampanelli. I LOVE Lisa Lampanelli and when she saw me and went to introduce me to her husband Jimmy, she actually remembered he and I had already met, which was very interesting to me. She said, ” you guys met at my book party at Carolines.” It was for her book,”Chocolate Please!- My Adventures In Food, Fat, and Freaks” which I think came out in 2009. She remembered that I came out to support her, which I think is very important to do for your friends. You need to get out and support people in their efforts.

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Lisa Lampanelli and Jeffrey at the Comedy Central Donald Trump Roast

And it shows how people remember those things, because I didn’t think she would. And she was right. I did meet Jimmy that day and they weren’t married yet, just engaged, but we all took pictures together, so we could prove she was dating someone white, (LOL).

It really shows how some people appreciate and remember those who come out to support them. And hopefully she’ll drop by my fundraiser to fight Diabetes on April 14th ay 8 P.M. at The Comic Strip. She said if she was in town she’d be glad to come.

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Big Jimmy and Little Lisa at the Donald Trump Roast at the Manhattan Center

Some of the highlights:

Seth on Trump – Now there’s a Donald Trump cologne that never fails with women. You pour it on a cloth and hold it over her face until she stops struggling.

Seth on Lisa Lampanelli – Lisa recently appeared on The View, and blocked it! ( Lisa by the way looks fantastic. She must have lost a hundred pounds, and is blonde and pretty, and she has her new husband Jimmy with her at all times. Jimmy is like a building with clothing. He’s a really big guy, and they look great and very happy together.)

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The very competent and confident Seth MacFarlane who was the Roast Master for the Donald Trump Roast.

Seth on Larry King – Seth referred to Larry as ” a chattering pirate skeleton, on loan from Disneyland.”

Lisa led off the Roast which is a hard place to be, but she killed it as always. She referrred to Anthony Jeselnek as Anthony Jism-neck, and Seth said that Anthony was only there because Greg Giraldo was dead. On the red carpet, Anthony told me he wrote for the Roast last year, and this year got a chance to perform.

Lisa on Jeff Ross – Jeff is in as much demand as the treadmill in Zsa Zsa Gabor’s house.

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Jeffrey Ross sporting a hairstyle stranger than mine! He looks like Moammar Khadaffy did his hair, using his hat to guide the shape.

Lisa on Trump – You’ve ruined more women’s lives than Bulimia.

Lisa on The Situation – The Situation wrote a book which is being sold on Amazon. When you bring up the book it says, ” People who have bought this book have also bought a rope and a stool.”

Larry King looked almost too thin to speak. He referred to Lisa Lampanelli as Lisa Lumpbelly.

Larry On Lisa – She’s a shock comic, but only if you look at her face!

Larry on Snoop – Snoop had a DNA test and found out he’s only 71% black. That means he’s 29% not guilty!

Snoop referred to Lisa as Notorious P.I.G. which was hysterical, and referred to Anthony Jeselnik as “Anthony Jizzleneck”.

Snoop on Anthony – The last time I saw him on the mic he forgot to order my Chicken McNuggets.

Snoop on Donald – He’s rich but very cheap. The last check ( Czech) he ever picked up was Ivana!

Snoop on Donald – He wants the White House. Why not? It wouldn’t be the first time he put a Black family out of their house.

Seth on The Situation – We wanna thank The Pope for that marvelous speech.

Seth on Whitney Cummings – She wrote a new book ” How To Succeed in Business Without Really Swallowing.”

Anthony Jeselnik is a great joke writer. He said, “Look at this dais. You got a pimp, a drug dealer, a pornographer, a murderer, and 8 white people.”

Anthony on Larry King – Larry’s so old, he’s actually one of the Jews that killed Christ.

Anthony on The Sitch – Mike Sorrentino, sometimes known as The Situation. Never known as The Education. He has a book, a video, a tanning salon, … he has his name on everything but a high school diploma.

Marlee Matlin is on the new season of Celebrity Apprentice, and she is so charming and beautiful. When I interviewed her on the red carpet she had a “signer” who translated everything she said so fast you’d think she was speaking. He also sat next to her on the dais translating every dirty word!

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Marlee Matlin and her new signer Gilbert Gottfried. She can’t hear and he can’t see because his eyes are always closed!

Marlee on Jeff Ross – You’re like bedbugs. People can’t get rid of you and they scream when they see you in bed!

Marlee on Lisa – We have a lot in common. I won an Academy Award and you won for Best in Breed at The County Fair.

In the middle of her set, Marlee’s signer walked off as if he was angry and was replaced by my favorite comedian in the world, Gilbert Gottfried. Gilbert just has to show up to be hysterical, and his jokes are always like depth charges. They destroy the room!

Jeffrey Ross closed the show and came out wearing a signature jacket befitting the Roastmaster General. with medals and epaulets, and something about it reminded me of something that Georgie Jessel might have worn. I’m concerned that no one will know who Georgie Jessel is.  He was a comedian during The Civil War.  I think his original name was Georgie Jeselnik, but he changed it to Jessel for show business reasons.

Jeffrey to Russell Simmons – Are you here for the Roast or to sign Marlee Matlin to Def Comedy Jam? ( Note – She’s deaf! )

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Russell Simmons and his date enjoying the festivities at The Donald Trump Roast.

Jeffrey on Larry King – The first time he did an interview in Egypt was with Moses. He plans to spend his retirement opening a jar! ( Hysterical!)

Jeffrey on Whitney – ( Whitney by the way is the brunt of a lot of sex jokes in which she plays “the slut”! She’s a sexy girl who seems to do it naturally!) Whitney is working on three pilots at the same time, and that was just on the flight in!

Jeffrey on The Situation – We should call you “The Penetration.” I’m waiting for “The Cancellation!” I heard you’re shooting the next season of Jersey Shore in Italy. I hope that’s just a sneaky way of deporting you!

And finally The Donald got his turn and had some really funny things to say. Btw, I hope he runs for President. I think he’d be amazing, and would put the country back on track. That being said, …

Trump – What a great honor it must be for you to honor me tonight!

Trump about the dais – Look at this dais. None of these people can even get arrested, .. except for Snoop Dogg.

It was a great fun night and I can’t wait to show you all the video as soon it’s done being edited.

Please add your comments and follow me on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/jeffreygurian

Posted in: Celeb Photos, Comedians In The News, Comedy Events, Comedy Matters, Nightlife Events, Red Carpet Events

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Comedy Matters on the Red Carpet at the WGA Awards 2011

Comedy Matters on the Red Carpet at the WGA Awards 2011

On the Red Carpet at the WGA Awards 2011

Jeffrey Gurian from Comedy Matters spoke to lots of fun celebs at the Writers Guild Awards, 2/5/11

Posted in: Celeb Photos, Comedians In The News, Comedy Matters, Nightlife Events, Red Carpet Events

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