Jackie Mason in the NY Post

Jackie Mason is used to getting lots of press, but not like this!

He’s one of the only comedians, if not the only one to have multiple, successful shows on Broadway.

But today’s New York Post had a front page photo of Jackie Mason with a story of how he was attacked by his 48 year old girlfriend in his apartment. She left him with a bloodied arm after fighting him for his cell phone so he wouldn’t call the police. Fortunately he wasn’t hurt worse. When people go crazy there’s no telling what they’ll do.

His girlfriend, Kaoru Suzuki-McMullen, supposedly woke up at 6 A.M. to find herself alone in bed, and found him asleep in the living room. She took that as a sign he had been cheating on her. People should really have more evidence than that before attacking someone. According to the NY Post, she is now facing misdemeanor assault charges.

The NY Post says Jackie’s 83. TMZ and the Wall Street Journal say he’s only 75. I have no idea which is correct. All I know is that he should be proud that he got a 48 year old girlfriend. Most men of substance are not out looking for 75 or 83 year old women. So, … more power to him!

I hope he gets better quick, and puts this behind him, but knowing the media, and their penchant for a good story, I have a feeling it will play out over the next few days!

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How To Cure Headaches and Facial Pain

Dr. Jeffrey L. Gurian has been an Assistant Clinical Professor at NYU since 1999, in the Oral Medicine/Oro-Facial Pain department and has worked with alleviating headaches and facial pain in patients suffering with stress-related illness and Depression. He has also been serving on the Board of The Association for Spirituality and Psychotherapy, where he has lectured at Energy Psychology conferences on the use of his “STAR” Therapy, a very gentle system of “Talk and Touch” to alleviate things like Migraine-type headaches, should pain, neck pain, upper back pain, Tinnitus (ringing in the ears), jaw and tooth pain, etc.

Video streaming by Ustream

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Comic Strip 35th Anniversary Party

On June 1, 1976, Richie Tienken and Bob Wachs opened the legendary comedy club called The Comic Strip. Of course no one knew it would be legendary at the time. And 16 days later when a young Jerry Seinfeld came in to audition, no one knew he would become legendary either. His original sign-up sheet from that night is still up on the wall. He was graded ” Good”, and it said, “Definitely put on Mon. 6/21.”

Along with Jerry Seinfeld came other names that were to change the face of show biz forever, like Paul Reiser, Larry Miller, George Wallace, Lewis Black, Susie Essman, Colin Quinn, Gilbert Gottfried, Ray Romano, Eddie Murphy and Chris Rock.

The first time Eddie Murphy came in to audition, Bob Wachs threw him out for being a wiseguy. He came back in to audition for Richie Tienken who agreed to see him, after Eddie apologized profusely for his behavior. Richie thought he was so good, he intervened with his partner Bob and the two of them wound up managing Eddie into being the biggest star in the world. From SNL to Beverly Hills Cop 2, they guided Eddie’s career.

Pretty good for Richie who had been a bar owner from The Bronx, and in terms of managing, had managed the largest Bingo hall in the country, but never saw himself managing the biggest star in the world. It all happened when Eddie realizing he needed a manager, asked his Mom what he should do. His Mom said ” Who do you trust most in the world?” And Eddie said “Richie Tienken”, so his Mom encouraged him to ask Richie.

Richie turned him down for about 10 days, because he couldn’t picture himself being responsible for somebody else’s career. He had no experience with that. But after about 10 days he gave in, and jumped in with both feet. Immediately he was playing with the big boys because Eddie’s career took off very fast. And in 1986, Eddie discovered a 19 year old Chris Rock on stage at The Strip when he asked if there were any Black comics he could see, and Chris was the only one around.

He had made a deal with Lucien Hold, the manager of the club for 25 years, that he could get stage time in exchange for setting up the chairs and cleaning up the club at the end of the night. That night he was glad he was there because Eddie was his idol, and he went from performing in front of 6 drunks at 2 in the morning, to performing for a packed house in front of his idol, Eddie Murphy.

That night changed the course of Chris’ career and gave the club two superstars who would appear on it’s stage.

It’s all in the book that Richie and I are writing about the 35 year history of The Strip, and to celebrate we had a big party in the club on June 5th.

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An Open Letter To People Who Yell Out Remarks On The Street

And by “people” I basically mean men, cause you rarely hear women making fools of themselves the way men do. This group of so-called “people” who feel the need to yell out remarks or comment openly on other people includes “cat-callers” who think they will attract women by being rude and making noises, and just shmucks in general who feel the need to try and boost their own non-existent self-esteem by making remarks about others.

Children do this for some reason, but you’re supposed to grow out of it. Some people never do. Sometimes when I have to pass a long row of men sitting on a wall, which is where you can usually find them, … eating sandwiches out of a bag that their mother’s probably packed for them, since the chance they actually have any women in their lives is very slim, I feel sorry for the women I see approaching because I know what they will have to endure.

Having been the victim of this kind of behavior myself all of my life, I empathize.

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Comedy Juice Holiday Show

If it’s Tuesday night and 10 P.M. you can usually find me at the Comedy Juice show at Gotham.  It’s a long running show that started in California, and in New York a funny guy named Rus Gutin books the show and also performs in it as well.

Since Christmas Eve falls on a Tuesday this year, Comedy Juice was moved to Monday night, and let me tell you the audience definitely got their money’s worth tonight.  Rus Gutin was the host and he did a great job.  It’s very hard to host a show.  <Much harder than it looks because you have to warm up the audience and get them ready for the comics they’re about to see.  Then you have to keep things moving along to make sure it all goes smoothly.

Rus Gutin on stage at Gotham Comedy Club hosting the Comedy Juice show!

Rus Gutin on stage at Gotham Comedy Club hosting the Comedy Juice show!

First up was Nikki Glaser, late of MTV’s Nikki and Sara Show which I got to see a couple of times, and which I thought was a really fun show.  My boy Ardie Fuqua was the warm up comic and if anyone can warm up a crowd it’s Ardie Fuqua!

Nikki talked about the MTA announcement on the subway which warns female riders ” A crowded train is no excuse for an improper touch. Don’t stand for it or feel ashamed, or be afraid to speak up. Report it to an MTA employee or police officer.”, and remarked that in order for there to even be such a message, some perv had to have used that as an excuse for groping women.  “The train was so crowded.  I had no other place to put my hands!”

She also talked about internet porn and how she came to discover “reluctant” porn, which we bonded over after her set! (LOL) If you haven’t seen it, look it up!

Nikki Glaser on stage at Gotham Comedy Club for Comedy Juice!

Nikki Glaser on stage at Gotham Comedy Club for Comedy Juice!

The Stone Brothers, Todd and Adam Stone were on next and they killed it like they always do.  I happened to be sitting next to them before they went up and Rus told them to do 10 minutes and then kiddingly added, ” Five minutes each!”  Anyone who’s ever seen the Stone twins perform knows they spend a lot of the time talking at the same time, so I told them if they do that, it’s more like they’re getting 20 minutes! (10 minutes each!)

Adam said he wanted to lose some weight and his doctor told him he had to do something that would elevate his blood pressure for a good 20 minutes, so he goes to his local Duane Reade and starts shoplifting for 20 minutes and then puts everything back!  Of course he does cause he’s a nice Jewish boy! ( His brother Todd claims to be Jewish too!  Small world!)

Adam (left) and Todd Stone being funny for Comedy Juice!

Adam (left) and Todd Stone being funny for Comedy Juice!


It was good to see Nic Novicki again cause he spends most of his time ou in LA where he lives.  Nic has been in so many films and TV shows lately, but he’s best known for his turns on HBO’s “The Sopranos”, and Boardwalk Empire where he played a little person boxer,  The first time I ever met Nick was at a party on Long Island and he accidentally spilled a drink on me.  Ordinarily I’d be upset about something like that, but Nic was so nice that we became friends.

He told a funny story about going to a party dressed as a penguin, with his girlfriend, also a little person and dressed as a penguin and he fell down the stairs and broke his arm, and hurt his leg and people thought he was just trying to waddle like a penguin.

Nic Novicki making people laugh at Gotham Comedy's Comedy Juice show!

Nic Novicki making people laugh at Gotham Comedy’s Comedy Juice show!


Mike Lawrence said he recently got engaged, and was warned by people that it would ruin his sex life.  On the contrary, he claimed it would GIVE him a sex life!  My biggest shock was finding out that he’s Jewish.  Jews can usually spot other Jews right away.  His Jewishness was hidden by his beard which is definitely not a beard of the Hebraic kind, but more like a Brooklyn hipster beard.

Mike Lawrence in profile offering a great view of his beard!

Mike Lawrence in profile offering a great view of his elegant, and voluminous beard!


Mark DeMayo was a cop for 20 years and just retired last year.  Now he can tell jokes about being a cop.  While he was on the force he wasn’t allowed to, and as he told me when they tell you you can’t do something, you can’t do that thing!

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Lisa Lampanelli Takes Divorce To Higher Levels!

The Friars Club held a major event last night to rename the famed monastery in honor of comedy icon Jerry Lewis.

Jerry Lewis laughing at one of the many jokes that were told during the ribbon cutting ceremony naming the Friars Club after himself!

Jerry Lewis laughing at one of the many jokes that were told during the ribbon cutting ceremony naming the Friars Club monastery building after himself!

Fifty-fifth street in Manhattan , which is known as Friars Way, was blocked off for a champagne celebration renaming the historic building.  It was packed with celebs and media names that came out to honor Jerry, and they even created a special star for him to be placed as the first star in a “Walk of Fame” like they have in Hollywood.



Then they gave Jerry a huge pair of red scissors for a ribbon cutting ceremony!


Jerry Lewis brandishing the big red scissors he used to cut the red ribbon naming the Friars monastery after him!

Jerry Lewis brandishing the big red scissors he used to cut the red ribbon naming the Friars monastery after him!

Some of the attendees were Vincent Pastore, from The Sopranos, Steven ( Little Steven) Van Zandt from The Sopranos, and Bruce Springsteen’s E-Street Band, Marvin Scott, ex-Mayor David Dinkins, Gilbert Gottfried, Pat Cooper, Bill Boggs, Rick Newman and his wife Chrissy, Tamsen Fadal, Joe Franklin, Jackie Martling, Dominic Chianese, Richard Johnson from the NY Post, and many more.

Vinny Pastore and Stevie Van Zandt sitting around at The Friars Club for Jerry Lewis!

Vinny Pastore and Stevie Van Zandt sitting around chatting at The Friars Club event for Jerry Lewis!

I had the honor of escorting my good friend, and comedy superstar Lisa Lampanelli, who I’ve been friends with for many years.  Lisa and Al Roker dressed up as construction workers to present Jerry with his star for the Walk of Fame!

Al Roker still dressed as a construction worker when he and Lisa Lampanelli presented Jerry with his "Star" for the Walk of Fame!

Al Roker still dressed as a construction worker when he and Lisa Lampanelli presented Jerry with his “Star” for the Walk of Fame!

Lisa was my recent guest on Sirius XM with Ron and Fez where I am a regular, and honored me by coming on despite the fact that she was not doing any other press.  She is still recovering from the loss of her dear father just a few months ago, and she made a decision to not allow any negativity into her life.

The new and improved Miss Lisa Lampanelli!

The new and improved Miss Lisa Lampanelli!

She only wants to do positive things which eliminates a lot of other radio shows that can tend to be mean-spirited.  Although she is known as “The Lovable Queen of Mean” I know another side of her, and that’s the side that came out on the Sirius XM show that we did.  We talked about positivity, and certain Spiritual principles that are important to incorporate into your way of life in order to achieve Happiness, which I capitalize for a reason!

To me Lisa embodies empowerment.  She has created more change in her life in the last year than most people do in a lifetime, and that takes a lot of courage.  She underwent weight loss surgery and lost 107 pounds, cut off her hair into what at first was a Mohawk, and is now just a very hip short look, that had purple streaks for a few minutes, and she made the loving, but difficult choice to leave a marriage that wasn’t working for her, but to her credit she did it on a very high level.  She and her husband Jimmy Cannizzaro, one of the nicest guys you can find, are parting on good terms.

As a matter of fact they are on such good terms that Lisa gave her blessing to his new relationship with singer Jenna Esposito.  

Jimmy Cannizzaro, Lisa Lampanelli with Jimmy's new girlfriend Jenna Esposito! One big happy family!

Jimmy Cannizzaro, and Lisa Lampanelli with Jimmy’s new girlfriend Jenna Esposito! One big happy family!

She told me personally and on the radio that if Jimmy and Jenna have kids she wants to be like the favorite aunt who spoils them.  That is a beautiful thing.  I went to Lisa’s home in Connecticut just a couple of weeks ago for a Labor Day barbecue, in the home she shared with Jimmy, and it’s a happy, joyous place on the water.  Very peaceful and filled with things that make Lisa happy to see, like her father’s art work.  He was an accomplished painter whose works fill her beautiful home.

So Lisa was expecting Jimmy and Jenna at the Jerry Lewis event and we all planned to meet up.  As I was walking into the monastery, I felt a tap on my shoulder , and heard someone saying ” Hey Jeffrey”, and it was Richard Johnson who for so many years ruled the gossip world as the king of Page 6, and now has returned with his own column, ” Richard Johnson- The Man Who Knows New York”, which should have had the tag, “Like No One Else!” LOL

Jeffrey Gurian with Richard Johnson ex-Mr. Page 6 who now writes "Richard Johnson- The Man Who KNows New York!"  An understatement if I ever heard one!

Jeffrey Gurian with Richard Johnson ex-Mr. Page 6 who now writes “Richard Johnson- The Man Who Knows New York!” An understatement if I ever heard one!

We exchanged pleasantries as they say, and I pointed out Lisa, Jimmy and Jenna standing outside talking.  He didn’t even recognize Lisa but I said to him, “there’s your story for the day! That’s Lisa, her ex and his girlfriend.”  So later during the evening I got to take these cool photos showing how well they all get along.

A dramatic example of how most wives usually handle a situation when they run into their ex with another woman!

A dramatic example of how most wives usually handle a situation when they run into their ex with another woman!

Even I got to join in the love fest! (LOL)

Even I got to join in the love fest! (LOL)

The other photos below are of some of the other fun guests.  And Vinny Pastore told me he wrote a new play about when he owned a bar in New Rochelle back in the 80’s and Steve Van Zandt’s wife Maureen is directing it, and he’s really excited about that.  It was another great night at The Friars Club!


With Vinny Pastore who told me he's excited about his new play!

With Vinny Pastore who told me he’s excited about his new play!

Jeffrey Gurian with Tamsen Fadal, the anchor from WPIX 11, and purple is his favorite color! LOL

Jeffrey Gurian with Tamsen Fadal, the anchor from WPIX 11, and purple is his favorite color!  At least it is now! LOL

And I thought I would end this column with a photo of Jerry and I from 1986 when I worked with him alone for two nights in his hotel room to prepare for his Friars Club Roast!

Jeffrey Gurian with Jerry Lewis at the Jerry Lewis Roast in 1986!

Jeffrey Gurian with Jerry Lewis at the Jerry Lewis Roast in 1986!






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My Take On Bullying

Bullying seems to be a hot topic these days.  Not a day goes by when you don’t read an article in the paper about the effects of bullying, from a student committing suicide to a school shooting blamed on the shooter having been bullied.   What is it about us as human beings that causes us to be bullies?

The dictionary defines “bully” as “a person who is habitually cruel or overbearing, especially to smaller or weaker people.”  That makes sense until you consider that last October, of 2013, football player Jonathan Martin, at 6’5 and 300 plus pounds, walked away from his team for being bullied by teammate Richie Incognito.  If a 6’5″ 300 pound guy can be bullied I guess that ANYONE can be bullied!

And Incognito’s explanation mirrors what all bullies say, “I was just kidding around!”   He went on to say ” Jonathan’s lawyer says he experienced “a malicious personal attack,” but again, that’s because he doesn’t understand how our locker room relationship was. We’d carry on. We’re big, physical guys. I would put my hands on him, just messing around. Like head-butting. Give him a belly shot. Normal stuff, that’s all.”

We’re “big, physical guys?”  Is that an excuse for acting like a moron?   You get a pass based on your physical size?  Why does your size allow you to head butt someone?  Is that really a game?  That’s not even allowed in some forms of MMA, because it can be so damaging.  “A belly shot?”  I’ve always known that that’s how those guys think, but to hear them actually say it is still shocking to me.

Former Jets quarterback Vinny Testaverde talked about “bullying” and “hazing” of new players, and what goes on in the locker rooms, in an article in the NY Post, and said “When Chad Pennington was a rookie with the Jets, we made him wear his helmet to breakfast, lunch and dinner in the cafeteria one day.  That was kind of our prank or joke on him to welcome him into the NFL.”  Now MY question is what would have happened if you had just said ” Welcome to the NFL, we’re really glad to have you.”  Would he have been disappointed?  Would he have felt unwelcome?  Would he have felt like ” Boy I really wish they had done something mean to me, or at least made me look stupid!”

In all honesty I experienced the same “Jock” mentality entering Dental School!  And all these years later I still can’t figure out why.  It should have been a great honor to be accepted to a professional school and the doctors on staff should theoretically have gone out of their way to make the students feel that way.  Instead they did everything in their power to humiliate us, demean us, and take away any amount of self-esteem we might have had.

I was bullied from my very first day when the Dean made a speech to “welcome” the incoming students and said, ” We don’t want any hippies with guitars here.  If you want to be a hippy with a guitar go to Dental School in California!”  Then a certain Dr. Lantz , with a Pennsylvania Dutch accent, came over to me and told me to get a haircut, and continued telling me that for the next four years,  until literally the very  day he handed me my diploma.  As I approached the podium to receive my D.D.S. degree after four grueling years of work, all he could manage to say was ” Gurian, get a haircut!”

And if you saw the length of my hair in those days you’d know they were out of their minds.  I also had grown a moustache which was in style in New York in those days and that really threw them over the edge.  In those days in Philadelphia, if you wore a turtleneck sweater you were considered a radical, … an anarchist!  I was not allowed to see patients for three whole weeks which put me in danger of not being able to complete my clinic requirements, and therefore not be able to graduate.

Because I grew a moustache I was told by my faculty advisor that I was “a disgrace to the profession.”   Meanwhile the halls bore the paintings of the school’s founders all of whom had huge mutton chop whiskers and plenty of facial hair.

The only saving grace was that Dr. Lantz and Dr. Mingeldorff ( I’m not kidding, that was his name!), who actually had a Confederate flag in his office that said ” The South will rise again” found out that my father had served in World War II.   And the way they found out was because my Dad had come down to Philly for me to do some work on his teeth and to speak to them about not letting me in the clinic, and they refused to let me work on my own father, until he had a talk with them and it came out that he had been in the O.S.S. ( Officer’s Strategic Service).  Dr. Lantz’s exact words which were seared into my brain were, ” Your Dad served us well in World War II.”

That still didn’t get me back in the clinic but they did let me work on my father, since he had driven down from New York City to see me.  My Dad told them that he didn’t feel he could tell me how to look because I was almost a doctor. It took my mother buying me a wig, with short hair and a part, in order for them to allow me to see patients again.  And I had to appear in Dr. Mingeldorff’s office , and slowly turn in a circle so that he could examine my hair from every angle.  He seemed to have no idea that it was a wig, because several weeks later, he showed his true nature by telling me it was time to get a haircut again because my “hair” was once again getting too long!

This was the length hair that got me banned from Dental School, and forced me to resort to wearing a wig in order to graduate!

This was the length hair that got me banned from Dental School, and forced me to resort to wearing a wig in order to graduate!

The bullying in Dental School got so bad that in the class where we were being taught how to give injections in the mouth, I was in the middle of giving an injection to a patient over the upper front teeth.  I was doing my best to make it painless. The needle was already into the gum, and some moron instructor came by and said to me, “Put it in further, don’t be afraid”,  and he actually pushed my elbow so that the needle went in too far.  I remember the horror of that till this day, and if it happened now he would have been fired.  In those days we were too afraid to speak up.  Today I would have.

The torment I faced for those four years definitely changed me as a person.  I know it and I try and fight it on a daily basis.  To be openly humiliated by the very people you’re trying your hardest to join , is not something you ever forget.  I wrote on my apartment walls with crayon that they would NEVER break me.  I told myself that I would have the last laugh, and I did.  I had a very successful practice and I never participated in any of the alumni events or had anything to do with the school , or any of the other students, since the day I graduated.

I’ve been bullied throughout my life.  By construction workers who didn’t like long hair when it started back in the 60’s.  By random strangers who’d make remarks to me on the street about my appearance!  By neighborhood gangs growing up in The Bronx!  By powerless insignificant people who Tweet mean things to make themselves feel important.  I know how it feels to be made to feel like you don’t fit in.

Fortunately the entertainment world is a lot more inclusive.  They are used to free thinkers, and encourage that as it’s a sign of your creativity.  When you go into the Army the first thing they do is to shave off your hair because your hair is a symbol of your identity, and they don’t want you to have your own identity.  They want everyone to be the same.  Crosby, Stills, and Nash said it best a long time ago when they advised, “Let your freak flag fly!”   To this day if I hear them sing “Almost Cut My Hair” it can still bring tears to my eyes.  That’s how much I was bullied about my appearance. 

In recent weeks a 10 year old Brooklyn boy ran away and rode the subways all night to try and escape the constant bullying he experienced at school.  He was terrified to ride the trains all night alone, but it was preferable to the terror he experienced daily being bullied.  The NY Post reported that a  6′ tall high school female senior had her face slashed with a razor, just two weeks before graduation,  for the audacity of being pretty enough to be a model.   Where she went to school that was enough to deserve a slashed face.  She already had a promising modeling career that was cut short by the jealousy of a bully that attended her school.  She said they made fun of her for her height, but she tried not to let it get to her.  She was the only model in her school.

And another football player at Rutgers has accused one of the coaches of bullying him, which is the same school where men’s basketball coach Mike Rice was fired for bullying HIS players. The sporting field seems to be ripe with bullying since lots of sports guys have that same “jock mentality” I mentioned above, that belittles anyone without the right genetics.   Too many people take credit for their genetics, when it was really just a roll of the dice.

If you were ever one of the kids who got picked last when other kids chose up teams, you know the feeling.  I was considered a popular kid, and played a lot of different sports, but I often felt left out.

And the media bullies people too, as evidenced by the NY Post headline of May 7, 2014 about Monica Lewinsky, who is still trying to make a life for herself after being humiliated on a worldwide basis for being seduced by the President of the United States.  The headline read “After 10 years Monica breaks her silence”, and then it said “My life sucks” as if she said that.  I read the article.  Nowhere does she use the term “sucks.”  The clever press person who came up with the title thought it would be cute to continue the humiliation, while the guy who seduced her goes on to ignore an impeachment and is looked at as some great hero who makes millions of dollars giving speeches.

Bullying is bad enough when you’re a kid,  but you’re supposed to outgrow it.  When you’re still bullying people as an adult maybe you’re just sick and need help!

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